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Eyes (i’ll read some of your work, pls give advice!)

madsdaws BRONZE posted this thread...
on Mar. 20 at 5:02 pm

Eyes

How boring it is to look into someone's eyes and see the oceans–the blueness of waves crashing and unrelenting, with the sun shining in tiny crystals off of the lines and the edges. Worse to see them smooth like honey: as sickly sweet and golden as the droplets pouring from a bottle, or to find stars and constellations within the depths of someone's irises. They are not diamonds or sapphires or emeralds, and they certainly do not twinkle in the dim moonlight somewhere on a beach filled with furtive infatuation, for you are not an enigma just because you can tell a girl that her eyes shimmer brighter than all the stars in the sky. She has heard it before, and likely will again, yet it is not true. The closest star to that beach you stand on is 4.24 light-years away and burns at a constant 5,120 degrees Fahrenheit, yet you could still see it if you looked up. If you looked out, the oceans would roll on farther than you could fathom, for they cover about 139.4 million square miles of the earth, and fall down 36,070 feet at their deepest. These things are infinite and steadfast; you can never exist without their presence. Yet, once she turns away, her eyes are gone. They are not the stars or the sun or the seas or the sapphires or anything else you may want to tell her. They are not soft, wide, warm, cold, inviting, piercing, luminous, dull, shrewd, dreamy, wide, narrow, clear, or obscured. They are nothing. I always wondered why people were so fixated on looking into someone's eyes and professing their judgment on them. I can see what someone would have to say about a pointed nose, or a crooked smile, or a few eyebrow hairs out of place, but not eyes. How could one possibly assess the color or shade by which another sees the world?



madsdaws BRONZE, Staten Island, New York
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment
ABsupergirl, Cavespring, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
You become the most dangerous when you learn to control your emotions.

ABsupergirl replied...
on Apr. 22 at 7:21 pm
It's really good. Gives me a kind of blunt emotionless feel.


WriteReadGirl, Kolkata, Other
0 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure"
-Rowena Ravenclaw (JK Rowling Harry Potter)

WriteReadGirl replied...
on Jun. 15 at 3:03 am
That's so good! How did you learn to write so nicely?


booklover_711, New Delhi, Other
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
it is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities
- professor Dumbledore

booklover_711 replied...
on Jun. 19 at 3:10 pm
@madsdaws its really good and deep. you have really emphasized your thoughts on eyes
keep it up!!


aval123, Dallas, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 0 comments
aval123 replied...
on Aug. 5 at 6:16 pm
Your descriptions were very well written. I felt like I could envision all the varied eye colors and patterns. I could definitely feel your depth and meaning in the line “How could one possibly assess the color or shade by which another sees the world?“ Great job.