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Korean Essay competition

booklover_711 posted this thread...
on Jun. 19 at 2:30 pm

i have written this essay for a competition by the Korean embassy in India
please help me to improve it

Topic-How will I introduce South Korea to my friends

The Korean wave: a worldwide phenomena
South Korea is truly a vibrant country which has its own distinct culture and language and has influenced millions of people globally, also truly inspires me to tell my friends about every aspect of this unique country
I would tell my friends that in every field south Korea secures a top position in the world .it is scaling heights in the entertainment industry with being the roots of the globally influential pop culture K-pop and is the motherland to many talented artists such as BTS and Black pink. South Korea has released many globally renowned films such as parasite which won an Oscar and train to Busan, a very extraordinary film. In the field of technology as well it is skyrocketing and has achieved great heights it is the home to many notable electricals’ brands, LG and Samsung which are famous across the board and most eminent car brands in India come from Korea such as KIA and Hyundai. Some of the breath-taking tourist destinations In Korea are, its capital Seoul, a very elegant and exquisite city. Jeju island, which has the fastest internet speed in the world and Busan which is famous for its mesmerising beaches and hot springs
I would also tell my friends that it is a very tourist loving country and its friendship with India is very amicable and goes back a lot of centuries when a Korean princess married an Indian prince since then they share a special bond that is why Korean have a special place in their heart for Indians and truly adore them. I would utterly recommend them to visit this truly astonishing country.

this the essay
I am writing another one
but I would really appreciate some suggestions and opinions so that I can improve the second one

booklover_711, New Delhi, Other
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Favorite Quote:
it is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities
- professor Dumbledore

risha17, Indore, Other
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risha17 replied...
on Jun. 20 at 6:26 am
there are several grammatical errors, would recommend a grammar check once