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Wanted to dabble in more of a romance genre. Any feedback?

TheHatter3-14 posted this thread...
on Jun. 30 at 1:06 pm

I recently wanted to step out of my comfort zone and try to write romance. I have really been struggling with interactions between the guy and girl as well as certain descriptors. Another thing I have been worried about are stereotypes. I really don't want to make a character that seems offensive or too stereotypical.

#1
"No," I whisper as his mouth pulls from mine. Now on our knees, my empty kitchen rises up around us.

"Wait" he mutters when I straighten up to grasp his face. I feel like a sad puppy being told that I cannot have any more treats. "What are we doing?" He could not have crushed my confidence any harder.

"Kissing? I mean I am no expert but that's what I thought it was." A small laugh breaks through his lips and my confidence is restored.

"No, I mean… well, we haven't had more than maybe 3 conversations and all the sudden we are thrown into a chem project together. Trust me this isn't what I had in mind when I thought chemistry project." Oh no.

"If this is too much or soon or if you are into someone else or anything I can go away and forget this ever happened. If that's what you want." My heart cracks at the words but when I try to get up he stops me.

"No, that's not what I want at all. In fact, I want you. That's all I have been able to want since I met you. But I feel like I hardly know you Sam. And I hate that." I feel like I have been shot through with an arrow. Cupid's arrow. And I must look it too because his sincere look turns to one of concern.

"I… you… what?" This makes his devilish smirk return and I know I can't let him have the satisfaction of rendering me speechless. “No, I mean I don’t understand. You went on a date with Jess, you guys seemed happy? What happened?”

“Jess is a lot of things, but not my type.” Sweet and simple. Absolutely not what I wanted him to say.

“Then what is your type?” I feel defensive and in a way, afraid of what he is going to say

“You.”

#2
“Sam, don’t start with the stereotypes. I am not like Josh or Andre. Those two don’t treat people with respect, especially not girls. Their parents were football players at our school. The coaches are like their family. That’s why they are successful. That’s not who I am.” Words fail me as the regret sinks in.

“Oh gosh, I didn’t realize- I am sorry.” Now, I can only hope that my apology sounded as sincere as it felt. If it didn’t, well, let's just say I don't think my drink is gonna taste quite as great the second time. After what seems like an eternity of silence, I ask again.

“My question still stands though. Why did you start hanging out with us?” Something seems to have changed in the way he looks at me after I ask and I can’t figure out what it is. We sit like that for a while. Me puzzling over his look and him simply looking into my eyes. Only when he pushes my hair aside and kisses my forehead do I realize what it was in his look.

“You, you’re why I stayed.” Desire. Want. Maybe even love of a sort. These are only a few of the emotions his wandering eyes hold.



TheHatter3-14, Colorado Springs, Colorado
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