AP: Absolutely Preposterous | Teen Ink

AP: Absolutely Preposterous MAG

November 1, 2007
By Anonymous

Weapons of Mass Instruction have been discovered in schools nationwide. Standardization of education is a plague that comes in many forms but none as detrimental as the AP class.

AP, or Advanced Placement, enrollment supposedly signifies that a ­student is intelligent enough to take college-level courses in high school. In reality, it’s just Academic Pollution. You do not learn the material to become enlightened. You learn to pass a test. You learn so that you can impress ­admissions officers with your weighted GPA. You learn so that when you enter college as a sophomore, you can fast-track your way to a high-paying job and the “real world.” But signing away your childhood to the College Board is Absolutely Preposterous.

Dealing with those gifted children who actually want to be educated often presents a challenge to administrators. Easily bored in classes that don’t stimulate them, these students release their pent-up frustration at their intellectual stagnation in the form of classroom disruptions. The solution? Lump all the Annoying Prodigies into one class and teach them the higher-level material they crave.

However, this isolation only creates further problems: Students are stratified into two spheres of existence. Like oil and water, these groups rarely mix or interact, resulting in an unmotivated class of slackers and a bunch of Antisocial Puppets, neither group knowing how to deal with the other. School should develop students socially as well as academically, preparing them to coexist with people from all walks in this rapidly changing world.

The fundamental rule in AP classes is Avoid People. Who has time for ­distracting social engagements? The massive homework load, looming deadlines and supplementary study groups slowly suck up your week.

Life doesn’t exist outside of meaningless busywork. Most often this ­consists of Absentminded Prattle, or the art of explaining concepts that you don’t understand, care about, or ever really need. The essay is no longer a forum for sharing opinions or arguing a case; it’s a formulaic regurgitation of exactly what the teacher/grader/counselor wants to hear. Anything Pedantic scores very well. Dick and Jane don’t play ball; Dick and Jane ­violently propel spherical objects at each other’s cranial cavities.

Weekends are for Application Padding: community service, multiple musical instruments, perhaps a sport or two, and other such “educational experiences.” Only Approved Pastimes are permissible. If a college wouldn’t care, neither should you.

Aggressive Parents enhance the whole experience with constant poking and pushing: “Do more, do it better, and do it faster than everyone around you. Don’t slack off. Don’t you want get into college?” Flipping burgers at McDonald’s is a favorite all-purpose threat, as if no respectable place of ­employment accepts applications from students who can’t name all the Chinese dynasties or integrate complex polynomials. Applying Pressure is a parental specialty, ­although the constant in-class reminders about judgment day (a.k.a. the AP test) don’t do anything to alleviate the stress.

Abandon Principles and accept it; shape yourself to fit the College Board cookie-cutter. AP is not learning but memorizing and rewording when prompted. AP is Always Procrastinating, staying up until one to finish that paper due tomorrow or the last of those French conjugations. AP is an obstacle course with never-ending hoops to jump through. AP is being taught ­exactly what to think and how to think it. At the end of the year, they evaluate on how well you regurgitate.

And so we sit in our little box, ­swallowing unquestioningly and vomiting on command, waiting for the sweet freedom that college brings. But can we survive the blinding sun of ­individual opinion? Or are we Altered Permanently to obey?

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This article has 107 comments.

on Oct. 11 2010 at 12:54 pm
nefariouslyme, Richland, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 72 comments
I don't quite agree with everything, but you have the right idea. I feel like this is a slippery slope of what AP actually means. If you know how to handle it, it doesn't mean any of what you just said. And if you live in the world of AP, you'll probably do so after school is done, unless you don't want to. The AP kids tend to stick together at the top, although you will have to deal with some of the slackers. I think this was really well written, though. Did you perhaps learn how to write like this in an AP class?

on Aug. 28 2010 at 3:26 pm
Phantom_Girl GOLD, Ft. Carson, Colorado
14 articles 0 photos 279 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If it comes out of the lion's mouth...it will be on the test."
-Mr. Bala

And as for the regurgitation of what the teachers want to hear, I really think it's the opposite. When I was in regular classes, all I was doing was busywork and writing what the teachers wanted to hear, but in AP, they teach you to do the opposite. You get a bad grade if you just spit out the information you were given. You are encouraged to put your own spin and opinion on it. You are encouraged to think for yourself and really analyze the information instead of just simple, useless memorization.

on Aug. 28 2010 at 3:21 pm
Phantom_Girl GOLD, Ft. Carson, Colorado
14 articles 0 photos 279 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If it comes out of the lion's mouth...it will be on the test."
-Mr. Bala

The article was very well written and the A.P. thing was very engaging.

Like mensa4life, I respect your opinion, but disagree. I take A.P. classes, and most of the kids in there are not antisocial, and most of us mix with non-AP students. I believe you are stereotyping AP students as socialy inept "nerds" even though not all intelligent teens are "nerds." And very few of these students have demanding parents. My parents are very supportive and don't expect me to stay in AP classes if I can't handle the work. This is another stereotype. Not all parents with children who do well are so evil. And AP classes really do help those who find work in regular classes to be too easy. We all need to move at our own pace. We have AP classes for the same reason that we have remedial classes, so that everyone can move at their own pace.

on Aug. 28 2010 at 12:46 pm
KidB1963 BRONZE, Brockton, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways."

I really like this article (okay, the A- P- thing was kind of annoying, but still).  I agree with Stanley Kubrick on stuff like this, who said, "I think the big mistake in schools is trying to teach children anything, and by using fear as the basic motivation. Fear of getting failing grades, fear of not staying with your class, etc. Interest can produce learning on a scale compared to fear as a nuclear explosion to a firecracker."  AP classes are mostly just how teachers leverage our omnipresent fear of getting into a good college.

on Aug. 28 2010 at 11:34 am
Natalie4ya GOLD, Laredo, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To each his own" "Love is being stupid together"

I respect your opinion but personally i disagree with it. I go to an Early College High School (Google It) so all my classes are AP if not harder. Its time consuming and stressful but to me its worth it. I enjoy being in an enviornment where everyone is willing and ready to learn and having teachers who actully want to be there. Life and therefor school is what you make it. If you don't enjoy the classes or can't handle them then just don't take them. There are many ways to get what you want out of life carve your own path don't just try to follow the one your school or parents have layed out for you.

on Aug. 19 2010 at 10:08 pm
melancholya BRONZE, Lodi, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What the spell is going on here?"-Professor Dolores Umbridge, A Very Potter Sequel

This is true, according to some graduated seniors at my school. But, not all AP classes are like this. Some are truly time wasters, but there are others that are worth taking. So far in school, I have not been challenged and probably will not be until I can take AP classes. Also, AP classes can be some very different topics than the normal Math, English, Science, etc.

agagag said...
on Aug. 14 2010 at 7:05 pm
This article is really great. :-)

on Aug. 10 2010 at 4:26 pm
PenguinFeet GOLD, Bellevue, Washington
19 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yeah, well, who but the mad would choose to keep on living? In the end, aren't we all just a little crazy?" - Dulcie, in Libba Bray's Going Bovine

This is a very well written article, but I have to disagree. By the end of high school I will have taken 15+ AP classes/tests, and really, so far, I have time to keep my grades up and also do everything I want. Personally, I despise the 'normal' classes because I feel like we barely learn anything there. And hey! I have a social life--though it is true that I rarely interact with non-APers.

AP has been good to me! Nevertheless, extremely well written. I applaud you.

on Jul. 31 2010 at 12:11 pm
jewelryqueen55 jewelryqueen55, Boston, Massachusetts
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Really great article :)

on Jul. 16 2010 at 8:01 pm
I could not agree more with you. I took AP World History last year and it destroyed me. I was an excellent student before but it took away from all of my other classes and significantly dropped my GPA, worsening my chances of getting into a good college. And I got the flipping burgers at McDonalds threat anytime I complained. AP is insane.

KLRO*9+1 said...
on Jun. 20 2010 at 7:27 pm
I just graduated high school and have taken AP bio, lit,lang, calc, euro, us, stats, pshyc, and gov. thats a total of 9 ap's. I have busted my but off because i was told it would look good on college apps but in truth there  are tons of other students out there doing the same thing. it is crazy to think i spent so much time studying for these tests and come college acceptance time i got virtually no financial aid for colleges and b/c of that im going to a jc. This article is right in some aspects. The separation of "AP" and "CP" students creates differences. Granted i have "CP" friends the maturity level is profound and I need to dumb my self down at time so they understand me. But in all honesty even though I stresseed myself out taking AP classes I met 10 of the best people and most of all we all helped eachother out and thats what makes an ap class the fact that you end up with most of the same people for 4 years and you create a bond that lasts.

on Jun. 20 2010 at 4:47 pm

I loved this article. However, i do disagree that APs are a waste of time. I myself have taken 4 AP classes in highschool, AP Euro my sophomore year and AP Bio, AP Lang, and APUSH my junior year. Next year will be my senior year and i will be taking AP Lit, AP Gov, AP Psych, and with some luck AP Calc. I do agree that it's very time consuming and stressful, however, i'm not saying that to dscourage anyone from taking these courses.

I also disagree with your commont on the AP kids being the troublemakers that are "lumped into" AP classes. I believe it's the other way around. We are separated form those CP kids who do not take their education seriously.

Regarding the enlightenment of the courses, i believe that our minds are opened to newwaysof thinking. At least my own has been. My treachers have always taught us not to confor, think for ourselves, challenge, never accepts something simply because they said it. Figure things out on our own. LEARN.

I believe it is up to the individual to take the resources given to them and apply them accordingly.

As for procrastination, AP students have that mastered, and cheating, at my school at least, is second nature. I'm not saying that it is right or fair, but sometimes necessary to maintain the perfect grade that coleges look for. It's unfortunate really to feel forced to giv up your moralsin order to avoid "living under a bridge" as my AP Lang teacher likes to say.

Anyhow, overall nice article. I did disagree with many of your arguments though. Also, may i commend you on accelent usage of the AP acronyms.

APstudent said...
on Apr. 21 2010 at 8:10 pm

I disagree with what you said about "oil and water" - from my experience, mixing AP kids with CP kids describes oil and water.

Nevertheless, I absolutely LOVE your article.  Very well written and great use of the acronym (as others have mentioned.)  I am an AP student and it has taken over my life. I barely have time for a social life.  the worst part is that the fact that teachers have to prepare us for the ap test - and therefore base the curriculum off of that - there is no freedom; everything is rigid.



saru-chan said...
on Apr. 20 2010 at 11:00 pm
LOVE the acronyms. hahaha amazing. don't totally agree that AP classes are useless regurgitation, but I agree that it's really easy for teachers to fall into that pattern. I'm also in 3 of the most difficult AP classes and still find time for a social life. 

on Apr. 3 2010 at 7:43 pm
magic-esi PLATINUM, Hyde Park, New York
27 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one."
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light."

This is a fantastically written article, and has made me rethink my choice of joining an AP class in high school. Of course, I'm already familiar with all of this- my parents and parents of my classmates, as well as every Preparing for High School Class, has the attitude that We Need to Be Enlightened. However, your hilarious variations on the abbreviation 'AP' and all of your truly enlightening points shed a new light on the topic. Great article and very well written.

my<3 said...
on Mar. 19 2010 at 6:19 pm
this article really opened my mind. i take an AP class, and completely agree with it. i really have no social life and have a lot of stress. Love your use of the acrony AP:)

on Feb. 28 2010 at 5:58 pm
besticanbe SILVER, Edison, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is no substitute for hard work."
-Thomas A. Edison

Great job and splendid use of the acronym AP.

billydee22ny said...
on Feb. 7 2010 at 3:10 pm
billydee22ny, Middletown, Maryland
0 articles 6 photos 21 comments
very creative. you're a great writer. and i agree 100%

on Feb. 4 2010 at 10:04 pm
Serendipitous BRONZE, Royse City, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"O reason, reason, abstract phantom of the waking state, I had already expelled you from my dreams, now I have reached a point where those dreams are about to become fused with apparent realities: now there is only room here for myself."-Louis Aragon

I thought this was very clever, and well... excellent. I particularly liked your comparison of kids in AP classes and normal classes like oil and water. There is an undeniable chasm between the two. I commend you!

mezclia said...
on Feb. 2 2010 at 11:25 pm
i love the use of AP. very clever. i agree w/ the melodrama of it all but other than that it tells a story of countless AP students.