A Hard Blow | Teen Ink

A Hard Blow

September 19, 2010
By Imaginedangerous PLATINUM, Riverton, Utah
Imaginedangerous PLATINUM, Riverton, Utah
31 articles 0 photos 402 comments

Tricia burst through the door, strode across the room, and slammed her fist into my jaw before I could even turn around to see what she wanted.

I fell out of my chair onto the floor, but as I popped back up I discovered that she had her gun drawn and aimed at me.

For a second I just stood there dumbly until my brain reengaged.

“What the heck was that for?!”

“I could ask you the same,” she snarled.

I must have looked confused, because she elaborated. “I was just with Chase. I found out what happened, you filthy lying little-”

So much for an explanation that made sense. “Tricia, what the heck are you talking about?”

The air in the apartment seemed to grow cold. “I can’t believe you have the audacity to lie to me, Alex. I can’t believe what you did, you traitor! You rat, you sadistic dirty double crossing %$#@!”

My mouth hung open. “I…”

“Chase- trusted- you!” she barked, hurling the words at me one at a time. “I trusted you! And this whole time you’ve been working against us, this whole time you’ve been just waiting to betray us-”

“Tricia, please, I swear, I have no idea what you’re talking about-”

She took a step forward, brown eyes flashing dangerously. Whatever she thought I’d done, it was serious…

“You’ve always been a good liar, Alex. I can’t believe that we fell for it- for three months! Garret was such a fool, taking you on with us. I told him you couldn’t be trusted, I told him you’d ruin everything- the project, the planning, everything- and I was right, %$#@!”

Her knuckles whitened as she tightened her grip on the gun. We’d never been exactly close, but now she looked murderous. What on earth was going on?

“Chase- Chase trusted you. And look what happened to him! Look what you did to him! I swear, I want to rip you apart, you disgusting-”

“Tricia- Tricia! What’s wrong with Chase?”

Maybe she noticed that I was still looking lost. A flicker of doubt crossed her face. “Alex,” she said warningly. “Don’t toy with me.”

“I’m not trying to toy with you, I’m trying to find out what’s going on. One minute I’m sitting here looking over the blueprints and the next you punch me. What’s wrong?”

The silence seemed to echo. A vague feeling of dread was crawling though my stomach. I noticed through the large window that a cloud covered the sun.

She took a step closer to me, and then another, and then she reached up with her free hand and placed it on my neck. Feeling my pulse- the most basic of lie detectors.

“I’ll kill you.” Her voice trembled with quiet fury. “You lie to me, Alex, and I swear I’ll kill you.”

She looked me in the eye and waited for my response.

“Tricia,” I said, looking right back at her. “I would never betray us. I’d never try to hurt you. And I swear that I have no idea what the heck is happening.”

She froze for a moment, pulled away, and then seemed to collapse into herself. “Garret. Garret. %$#@. Of course, Garret. Gosh, I’ve been such an idiot…” She addressed me. “I- I’m sorry I hit you. And shouted. I’m so sorry… I thought you’d… you’d…”

“Done something really bad,” I finished. “Tricia, what’s going on?”

She didn’t answer, but instead looked up, dyed blonde hair swishing. “Where’s Garret?”


“This is serious- where’s Garret!?”

“He was his way to plant some of the minor surveillance…”

“He’ll have vanished,” she said grimly. “Just what we need.” And then she explained, kind of. “We were betrayed. And I thought it was you… but it’s Garret. Our location was given away- in half an hour this place will be swarming with Hale’s guys.”

I felt a chill sweep over me. “That’s not much time to clean up and get out.”

“No, it’s not. We’ve gotta move, gotta track down Garret- I’ll make him pay. He can’t hide- what he did to Chase…”

She kept mentioning Chase. I felt a sense of foreboding. “Tricia, what’s wrong with Chase?”

She didn’t answer right away, turning, beginning to gather up the most sensitive documents. I repeated myself. “What happened to Chase?”

Tricia looked up, and I realized with a jolt that there were tears in her eyes.

Tricia didn’t cry. Ever.

“Alex,” she whispered, “Chase is dead.”

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This article has 9 comments.

on Jan. 22 2012 at 6:53 pm
__horizon133 PLATINUM, Portage, Michigan
26 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
"laugh, and the world laughs with you. laugh hysterically, and for no apparent reason, and they will leave you alone." anonymous

intense and action pact: i liked it up until the end. "Alex," she whispered, "Chase is dead." this felt anti-climatic somehow--i feel like it should have been more of a "you don't want to know" cliff hanger. any half way intelligent reader has pretty much gathered that "Chase is dead" by the middle of the piece. besides that, however, everything else is perfect. i love how you have your characters talk comprehensibly about "hale's guys" and other variables that are not explained, and yet the reader can tell that there is an actual story behind this and you, the author, know what you're doing. one of my greatest flaws is that i babble about random, mysterious names and past happenings that i haven't actually developed in an attempt to add suspense. good job and five stars :)

on Mar. 23 2011 at 4:40 pm
Imaginedangerous PLATINUM, Riverton, Utah
31 articles 0 photos 402 comments
No, sorry. Thanks for the compliment, though.

on Mar. 23 2011 at 10:51 am
TayHarper SILVER, San Diego, California
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Shoot For the Moon, If you miss you'll still be with the Stars.

Dude this is awsome!!! Is there more?

on Mar. 20 2011 at 6:08 pm
Hawthorn BRONZE, Nowheresville, Maine
3 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Know Thy Enemy" Sun Tzu

Amazing. You my friend have what they call potential.

reesha SILVER said...
on Dec. 18 2010 at 9:05 am
reesha SILVER, Rawalpindi, Other
6 articles 15 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."
Walt Disney

"Hakuna Matata!"
Lion King

"The British policy was 'unite and conquer'. But I say 'unite and conquer'."
Greg Mortenson (Three Cups of Tea)

This is really engrossing. Please continue it! =)

on Oct. 26 2010 at 11:48 am

I love your stories, they're verry engaging...You are one to keep an eye on (wow that sounded creepy) Write more!!!

And maybe get published (like by a book company, not by Teen Ink)

on Sep. 26 2010 at 4:48 pm
PussnBoots GOLD, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life hands you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it." -Unknown
"The world is my pineapple. I just have to figure out a way past the prickly parts." -Me

Nice. Though I'm still confused as to who these people are (I'm assuming they're some kind of spies), I like the idea and the way you portrayed it. It made me curious and made me want to read more. :)

You're action descriptions were good, but you could describe the surroundings a bit. Not too much, but just so we know where this is happening.

And your ending... I liked it. :) Even though we don't know Chase, it kinda made me sad that he was dead. Good job and kep writing!!! :)

on Sep. 23 2010 at 10:20 am
CuteAsIce PLATINUM, Pretoria, Other
20 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
Today is always a good day because tomorrow is new day.


on Sep. 20 2010 at 7:39 pm
emergingtalent SILVER, Riverton, Utah
5 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be who you are and say what you feel, Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind. -Dr. Seuss

I love your work! keep up the good work! ;)