Wink | Teen Ink


April 25, 2019
By Jordi2112 PLATINUM, Gardner, Kansas
Jordi2112 PLATINUM, Gardner, Kansas
29 articles 6 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

I hate you so much. You do nothing but hurt me. No. Don’t try to explain yourself. I don’t want to hear it. Stop it. STOP. Don’t look at me with your blue eyes, spitting your sweet lies. I know that they’re not true. I know it. Why do I want to believe you? Let me walk away. You stay over there and I’ll stay over here. Just let me leave. Let me move on and be happy. Stop following me, pulling me back in with your sick gravitational pull. Stop looking at me with your blue eyes, daring me to push back. Daring me to fight, claw, scratch, bite. That’s what you want. A reaction. Anything you can get out of me. My love wasn’t enough. You didn't even believe in love. I didn’t either. Your twisted mind thought it was fine. You thought everything was fine. Well, guess what. It wasn’t. It wasn’t fine! Stop trying to bring me back with your Calvin Kleins. Let me go! Stay here and rot in your filth, with your meaningless girls and their fake pearls. Let go of me. Take your hands off me. Don’t pull me into you. Don’t look at me with that sad look, trying to melt my heart. You can’t. No! You can't. Don’t put your lips on mine, hummingbird kisses, quick and making me shiver. Blonde hair between my fingers, pushing away and pulling closer. Tippy toes to get closer, heels to get away. Smash my lips into yours. Feel that familiar buzz in my veins. That familiar feeling that always takes my breath before I even get a chance to breathe. Push away. Take a step back. One step. Two. Smirk because you know I could never get away from you, no matter how hard I tried. Wink.

You love me. You love me so much. You know I don’t mean to hurt you. You need to hear me. Listen to me. LISTEN. Yes it was my fault, but I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it. Look me in the eyes and say that I’m telling lies. Why shouldn’t you believe me? Like hell, I’ll let you walk away. How many idiots let the best things of their lives go because they tell them to? Listen to me, then tell me that I’m wrong. You may look weak, but in your head you’re so strong. There’s nothing I can say that’ll make you want to stay. Stop being this way and just stay with me all day. Push me, girl. Hit me. Scratch me. Make me bleed. Anything to help you and let you be freed. You know there’s nobody better than you. I don’t know why you can’t see me that way. You just can’t trust me, and it kills me today. You look so afraid, your small, shaking form. In me find your peace, and let go of your storm. Would you hit me if I put my lips on yours? No. Your eyes would grow wide and you’d forget how to breathe. You wouldn’t pull away but the anger would still seethe. What would happen with my hummingbird kisses? You might try to hit, your fist swings and it misses. Or you would wrap your hands in my hair, desperate. Pushing me away, pulling me back. That’s what our relationship is, just cut me some slack. Feel that feeling only you can give me. Get drunk on that feeling, high on that feeling, never let it go. Damn you for you, making my broken heart grow. I push away and look down at your beautiful face. Even now in your anger, you’re full of so much grace. I start walking backwards, leaving you wanting more. I almost disappear, you don’t know what for. I smirk, but don’t worry. I’ll be back, I’m not in a hurry. You can never get away from me. I can never get away from you. I wink at you, and then I’m gone. But I’ll be there at dawn.

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