Moat of Flame, Valley of Obsidian | Teen Ink

Moat of Flame, Valley of Obsidian

November 8, 2020
By Anonymous

Boom. and just like that, the world stopped. Confused? Ok, rewind. A quaint, peaceful village stood at the foot of a beautiful and great mountain, peaked with snow at its tall peak, in the grassy valley sat about 30 little homes with stone and clay walls and thatched roofs. On the low, grassy slopes of the mountain were a few shepherds with their flocks, casually watching for wolf and the sheep peacefully grazed. A normal day. And that's when the world ended. Our beautiful mountains snowy peak became thousands of smaller rocks and flew about with a loud explosive sound, some knocking out shepherds and villagers. Then liquid fyre flew straight up 50 feet in the air and started fountaining out, falling down the sides, burning everything in its path, nobody could run fast enough. It cascaded down in a terrible beauty, and that was the end of the village. Nothing more. In that valley, almost like a dry moat, everything was filled with lave fr 20 feet up. A huge crater was left in the top of the volcano, but what lava was left quickly became basalt. All down the sides was obsidian, and the top of that awful creature of flame became obsidian as well, beneath was more basalt. Encased in the stone were everyone and their homes, as if they never existed, gone forever. The landscape quickly became peaceful. The ash settled like odd snow on the surface, and as the stone turned to gravel, then sand, then soil, the ash turned to beautiful grass. And again, it was beautiful. Whipped from history and buried beneath, the people were forever frozen in fear, and above the landscape forgot and became beautiful, the mountain now a hill surrounded by mostly flat soil. Soon a few trees grew. Another village moved in, not realizing that the crater pool of crystal clear, beautiful water, was a mark of danger. Perhaps history was doomed to repeat over and over. Perhaps the volcano was now a dormant beauty. Who can say?


The author's comments:

hows the ending? any constructive criticism? i struggle with endings, so if you like it I want to know and if not how can I improve?


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This article has 4 comments.


on Jul. 30 at 9:08 am
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
159 articles 22 photos 906 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)
And the words I say most often: "Where was I?"
"I just switched 50 things to anonymus and it doesnt even make a diff- why was i writing this again? where was i? hm.... oh well."

nope, tho a hop, skip and a leap away might. its probably my best work(its an edit of something older)

on Jul. 22 at 3:08 pm
Crazywolfiegirl2 PLATINUM, Kington, Other
31 articles 0 photos 243 comments

Favorite Quote:
When people first meet me, they think I'm really shy, but by the time they get to know me they wonder how the illusion of shyness ever came around!

@SparrowSun Hey, just curious but I know u have done a lot of articles, have u had any in a mag?

on May. 5 at 1:06 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
159 articles 22 photos 906 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)
And the words I say most often: "Where was I?"
"I just switched 50 things to anonymus and it doesnt even make a diff- why was i writing this again? where was i? hm.... oh well."

thanks!

Lydiaq DIAMOND said...
on May. 5 at 12:26 pm
Lydiaq DIAMOND, Somonauk, Illinois
94 articles 35 photos 642 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather be a forest than a street.
If I only could, I surely would.
I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet."

The ending's great! So is the beginning and every part of it.