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Diary Of King Murdo MAG
May 2, 1234: Got bored with hunting, so took up writing. I will keep notes on the state of the kingdom from now until I get bored with writing and take up something else.
May 6, 1234: Today royal woodsmen report only 187 deer in my royal forest. 1 missing. Will have to look into this.
May 8, 1234: Rumors that peasants may have poached a deer. As we live by a standard of ideals in this kingdom, stealing is not acceptable, so something must be done very soon.
May 9, 1234: Spent all day deciding on a punishment for peasants. I hit on a good idea. I shall cut off their food supply until the guilty party confesses. Also, I have ordered several noblemen to watch their actions carefully, because I can no longer trust them.
May 14, 1234: Yesterday had meeting with noblemen in charge of trust reinforcing program for peasants. A few getting sick, guilty party will confess any time now.
June 2, 1234: Peasants very sick, some dying. Noblemen are getting upset with dishonest peasants. I will resolve problem in a month at most.
July 2, 1234: Problem solved, as promised. All the peasants starved to death. Serves the lowlife poach-ers right. However, expect difficult farming this year. Maybe someone can teach me how to use a hoe.
July 8, 1234: Missing deer turned up. It wasn't poached after all. It hid in a cave to have babies. I am very excited about new fawns.
July 13, 1234: Terrible tragedy occurred today. The queen lost her beautiful pearl necklace. She accused one of the ladies-in-waiting, but keeled over from the terrible shock of loss before she could name a name. I shall get to the bottom of this.
July 19, 1234: I have got an idea to find the thieving lady. I shall hang one each day since the time of the robbery until the guilty one returns the necklace to save her friends. Since five days have gone by since the day of the theft, I hanged five ladies-in-waiting today. Queen still hasn't regained consciousness.
July 23, 1234: Hanged five more ladies, and still no confession. Queen has been taken to hospital.
August 3, 1234: All ladies-in-waiting have been hanged. With no one to clean up, the castle is getting rather dirty. Still no sign of the necklace. Queen is in critical condition.
August 7, 1234: Found necklace!! It was in the royal drain of the tub where her majesty takes her evening baths. Must have slipped off there and fallen down the drain. Unfortunately, the Queen died yesterday of shock and didn't get
to see( the finding of) her pearls again.
August 21, 1234: Having political troubles with the neighboring kingdom. I expect a war, so I ordered my royal suit of armor to be brought to me.
August 22, 1234: Political situation rapidly growing worse. I am very upset because my royal suit of armor is gone. I am positive that one of the knightshas taken it. I must get that royal armor back before the war, so I am willing to take more drastic measures than usual.
August 23, 1234: I held a beheading ceremony in the courtyard today for my black hearted-knights. However, I made sure that everything was very fair. Before I chopped off each one's head, I asked him if he were guilty, or if he knew who was. If he said no, I executed him for telling lies or covering up for a liar. If someone had said yes, they would have gotten a severe punishment, but no one said yes, so that saved me the trouble of thinking one up.
August 24, 1234: I just remembered! Since I have never gone to war, I don't even have a royal suit of armor! But even if the behead-ings were not really necessary, at least they were entertaining for the nobles and me.
August 30, 1234: War has been declared. I am still learning how to shoot a bow. It's a lot harder than it looks. I am also beginning to teach myself sword play. This war ought to be an educational experience.
September 1, 1234: Enemy is marching toward castle. My fortress seems very empty. (Of people that is, for with the ladies-in-waiting gone, no one here to clean up.) I am very hungry, as there are no peasants to harvest grain this year.
September 2, 1234: Getting bored with writing, so taking up war. Although I have heard that it is a team sport, I think I can handle it solo. Enemy has arrived at
front gate, so I can write no more today. n
Overland Park, Kansas
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