Suicide Note | Teen Ink

Suicide Note

May 22, 2021
By SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
159 articles 22 photos 909 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)
And the words I say most often: "Where was I?"
"I just switched 50 things to anonymus and it doesnt even make a diff- why was i writing this again? where was i? hm.... oh well."


Dear someone,

I don't know who you are. I don't know anyone who will care about this. I'm writing this… because I want to pretend someone does care. I'm staring at my noose right now. I don't want to do this. I wish someone had given me another option, anything but this. I wish someone had told me I’m not alone, or just cared. Stopped for one second to say hi. It's too late now. I don't have a choice.

I'm so alone! I don't want that anymore. I don't know if I’ll still be alone, but at least I’ll be alone on my terms. I’ll be free. Of what, I don't know. Everything? When I finish this letter, I’ll be flying. Forever. Or at least, until I’m found, and these words are read. I'm saying everything I write out loud, so this will be my last words. It making me sadder.

It doesn't matter, i won't be sad much longer. I wonder who you are? Do you know me? Do you blame yourself for not helping? How did you find me? Were you the one who found me, or did you find the note? And will I really be me, when I’m just a body hanging from the ceiling? I don't know.

I feel calm, now. I know what I’m going to do, i don't feel like a broken ship lost at sea anymore. I’ve found land. A broken land, but land. I'm wondering again, about you. What will you be thinking? What if you aren't cops or something, but the person who buys my house and found this note. Or maybe just a random stranger who saw me through the window. Or police. You could be anyone, I guess.

I know I said I feel calm, but I don't want to do this. I have to though, there’s no other option. Nobody will care, and why should I keep existing in this miserable way? Still… there’s got to be another option. I looked it up, there’s a phone number I can call for help. 800-273-8255. I don't want to do this, I'm going to call.

I ended the call. It's going to be ok. I'm untying it. I guess I’m writing this to me, in the future. I wonder about you. Are you happy? Are you free? Did it work, did the help actually help? I guess I’ll find out. I hope you're happy I didn't kill you. But whatever happens, I hope you never end up staring through a noose again.

-Caroline


The author's comments:

Hey, it ended happy! thats got to be revolutionary.

This is fiction, not a cry for help. but, the phone number I included is the actual line for suicide help, if you need help, even if you arent actually about to commit suicide, if you just feel suicidal, CALL. again, the number is 800-273-8255


Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2 comments.


on Jun. 2 at 12:23 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
159 articles 22 photos 909 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)
And the words I say most often: "Where was I?"
"I just switched 50 things to anonymus and it doesnt even make a diff- why was i writing this again? where was i? hm.... oh well."

but it ended happy? it inspired me to write a letter to my future self

Lydiaq DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 2 at 10:06 am
Lydiaq DIAMOND, Somonauk, Illinois
96 articles 35 photos 649 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather be a forest than a street.
If I only could, I surely would.
I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet."

Very very creepy