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He and She
“So how's it feel?” He asked.
“How’s what feel?” She replied.
“Knowing this is the end. Understanding this is the end of our path together?” He said it simply and more like a statement then a question. The tone in his voice was solid and showed no sign of emotion though they both knew that he was over flowing. They both knew he wanted to take the words back. Take her back and fix everything, but they both understood that this was it. Their paths were spilt and never to meet again.
"Why does he ask? He knows the answer, he knows I want to be free. So why does he ask? Why can he not see how we would both be happier apart? I think at least…"
She was always thinking, wondering and hoping maybe instead of questions one day she would find answers to why she was so impermanent, why she couldn’t stay with any one…
"I wish I never loved her. I wish I could have just walked away. I wish it were easier. I wish…."
As he wished and she pondered the world moved, breathed, and was full of noise. As alone as they felt and quite as they were, sitting next to each other on the back porch of her house the birds sang out and the sun sparkled. They had sat there so many times before, a countless number of those times were as happy as their surroundings, and even the other days the ones that weren’t as happy she loved them and wouldn’t give them away for anything. Today was different from the rest of those for some reason. It was a landmark in their lives, dividing them onto new and strange paths. The landmark was the break up, was the fact that they were forever apart. Although the outcome was the same from either side the landmark, as they past it meant completely different things…
To her it was the symbol of a fresh beginning; a new life, a chance to leave and have an excuse to by no means come back. She was sad that this was really it, the end of seeing the boy she loved more then anything in the world but maybe it was best that way. It wasn’t the last person she would love and it wasn’t the first time either. She knew that he could get over it and her broken heart would heal before long. She was just exited to be free again, to fly into the clouds and never be afraid of being fearful of being called down from her wonderful high.
He looked at it as a death penalty. He just wanted to hurry away and forget her absence and the pain she left in nonattendance of her self. While she loved the experiencing and learning even if it hurt a little, he did not. He didn’t mind being attached to her; he liked having a girl to hold and to call his, to not feel alone when he had terrible nightmares, which he had more then once in awhile. He was perfectly content in staying in the same small town on which he grew up. He didn’t want to lose her; he couldn’t deal with the pain, the hurt and suffering…
No one said a word as they contemplated, trying to place where their relationship collapsed. He decided it must have been when she took a mini vacation and never told anyone about where she went or what she did. She thought it was when he stopped putting in effort. If she was going to stay in a relationship she wanted their heart entirely and unquestionably. He wanted to know where she was and that she was his. They were both accurate, when she left she made it obvious to him she was never going to be his completely, and when he realized that he stopped caring…
She stood and watched him drive away knowing right were he was going. He was going to go to a party and drink himself numb, till he couldn’t remember his own name. He would get high and sleep with a random girl. She wanted to cry, to call him but she knew in a few short months she would fly, sing, and be free. All she ever wanted was to be free from anyone and anything but some how even after knowing she was aloud to fly as high as she wanted it was starting to taste bitter. Wasn’t she just dreaming of flying? She knew they would have ended eventually any way so she didn’t mind the bitter taste freedom gave her right now. It would hurt more if she held on any longer and he would heal so she didn’t feel that bad…
Love is only a thought; an abstract way to take feelings and the sensation of loneliness and was only a figment of imagination to her she thought. But he knew for certain love existed and self-isolation was always to follow. She moved on with her life thinking back to him only when she felt it was necessary to use the situation to move forward. He went into reverse and never was closer in advancement to moving on then a corpse did in breathing. He cried whenever he thought about her while she laughed and smiled at the newfound knowledge…
8 years later she was singing her lungs out at a bar with the rest of her bachelorette party laughing and having a good time. She had finally learned how to be with someone without feeling trapped. The same day just hours earlier he had learned something too. He learned that he couldn’t move on, she had been the last one he could love... While it was the very beginning for her it was the very last day for him, literally…