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I sighed and looked out the window. The sun was watery and weak. Ice had licked the window frame and had turned the grass a silvery colour overnight. I watched the transformation in awe. I picked out each insignificant detail and planted the scene in my head. It would be a great description for a story. This wasn’t helping me. My mind was still too far away. I knew that I had to finish my story by Friday or else the publisher would get mad. I pulled my woolly blanket around me, trying to get back to the present. I needed to push any irrelevant thoughts out of my mind. I couldn’t go on like this any longer; I had to tell someone that I had writer’s block. It wasn’t something that I wanted to do but I didn’t think I had a choice. The chapters were piling up and time passed by, each minute that I stressed over my work. My book no longer seemed like a great adventure. No...More like a failure! I had to admit that it was great so far but the end. No matter how hard I tried, the end was never as high-quality as the rest. In fact I would even go as far to say that it wasn’t even worthy of being published. My mother had been decent enough to lie to me and say that all it needed was a bit of work. I loved my mother dearly, but I knew myself that she didn’t mean what she said. My mother had always been there for me. As a child she would have tucked me up in my bed and made up hundreds of stories. I remembered lying there in fascination, listening to my mum go on about faraway lands and fairies. My mother had always been my inspiration and I really didn’t want to let her down!
I heard a rustle behind me and I turned to see my sister hovering at the door. Her face was painted with concern and I felt the urge to go over and hug her.
“Don’t worry Julie; you will finish it I know you will!” My sister informed me.
“I really don’t think I can Sarah, it’s already Wednesday!” I whispered into her light blonde hair.
She looked up at me, her blue eyes glistening from the sun streaming through the window. She shook her head and walked towards the fake flower on my desk fingering the plastic petals covered in dust.
“Don’t talk nonsense; I know you will finish it!”
I smiled weakly at Sarah. Not wanting her to see just how wrong I thought she was! She was so naive but I guess I must have been like that at her age too. Her sweet little nine year old mind couldn’t fathom why I could not succeed.
“Sarah, I can only try my best!”
She twisted to face me, her face full of fury.
“Well then you are not trying hard enough”
I ran my hands through my dark hair and sat down in defeat. Letting her believe what she wanted to.
“It’s not as easy as it sounds...” I trailed off when she stomped her foot on the floor.
“Julie, why can’t you just write the book and then we can all be happy again!” She moaned, as she sat down beside me on the long brown sofa.
“Ok calm down Sarah, I will try my best”
I patted her on the back. She was starting to irritate me!
“Stop saying that, you can write it”
She really was exasperated. I wished that she could have understood but she would someday and that helped.
“Look I’ll go and write in a minute along as you leave me in peace; is that a deal?” I hoped that my plan would work.
It did the trick she nodded and jumped about like an untrained puppy, her eyes full of wonder and hope. She dashed out of the room and left me to ponder on my own perplexed opinions. What harm would trying do? I asked myself. I sat down at my laptop and typed one sentence. I added something to it that would make it flow. I followed it with another sentence and another until I had a whole page. I read it and found a lot of errors but I did what my sister said, I kept going! I sat there for I don’t know how long until my mum called me for dinner. I edited it one last time and left it. I would read it again once I had my dinner. I knew that my mind would be a lot clearer and fresher after then.
After dinner, I climbed up the wooden stairs and flopped out on the sofa once again. I sat there in silence, not wanting to face my challenge just yet! It had become cold again and I draped my blanket over me. I really didn’t want to look at the last few chapters off my story. So without thinking, I lifted my laptop and clicked on the file. I sat there for hours reading through the whole story. When I came near the end I sucked in a deep breath... I smiled with relief and let out a breath that I didn’t realise I had been holding. It was perfect; the end was just right for my story. My story was now a complete book! I wanted to thank my sister a million times over and swing her around in the air. She had been right all along. That’s when it clicked...it wasn’t that my ending was never good enough, it’s just I never had the right frame of mind. If I simply had of thought that I could finish it and improved my ending then I wouldn’t have had to go through all the trouble of doubting myself and deleting it over and over again. If I ever had to give advice to anyone on writing then I would know exactly what to say ‘don’t doubt yourself and always have a positive frame of mind!’