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It was hopeless. I was doomed to be alone forever, by fate and bad luck. Nate had promised to love me "Till death do us part", he always said with false hope in his velvety voice. He made it official by the ring he gave me after our 3 years together. But it was lies, all lies. He was the one that had put me back together after I had been beaten emotionally through all of the years. But now he was gone, I tried to grasp this thought but it was far to unbearable. For me, trying to find love was like trying to chase butterflies.
I tried to breathe, it felt like my throat was closing. I swallowed to keep some air left but it was no use. I'd rather die then live without him. He was my everything and now he broke me apart. One by one he pulled the strings that held my heart together until all the pieces fell. Going their own way. I wanted to cry but nothing came out. I wanted to speak but my voice was to hoarse. In truth, I was in shock.
Me and Nate met three years ago at my mothers wedding rehearsal. She was getting ready to get married for the second time. My father and her divorced when I was only seven years old. It was a hard year for me. I was bullied because my mom was a single mom. Every day I would trudge home and just fall on my bed and cry. Those bullies had pulled a very sensitive string from my heart. But everything changed when she met Steve when I was only sixteen. All of a sudden my mom was smiling again. She was laughing and her spirit seemed alive. Seeing her happy made me feel the exact same way.
I think that him being there made it easier to forget my problems. Though, they were still on the back of my mind. I wouldn't give up hope. No matter what. So when Steve introduced me to Nate I had a small glimmer of hope. We clicked instantly. Every time his arm would accidentally bump into mine I would feel the butterflies creep up. They floated easily into my heart, causing it to flutter. Nate felt the same way but without all the girly feelings. Ever since that night my life had officially started.
We were inseparable. I gave him my heart and he gave me his. The only problem was that he gave mine back and I wanted to keep his.
"No refunds", I told him when he asked for it back. I tried to choke back tears. My cheeks were flushed pink from the cold November weather. He had called me suddenly saying "We had to talk", I had thought nothing of it but now I didn't understand why he wanted some time apart. I just couldn't comprehend it. He promised forever. Why was he doing this?
"I'm sorry Lucy, We're both going to different Colleges. How would it work?", he sat beside me on his bed. The same one that I had spent many nights in.
"But..It could work. If we love each other enough then it will work. Please Nate, it's got to work. I love you so..", I trailed off still in shock of the current events.
"I loved you.", was all he could murmur. I looked up suddenly he 'Loved' me? Hence, past tense.
That's when the tears finally felt their cue to drop. They fell fast, and hard. Giving me no time to take it all it. Before long I was gasping and chocking them back. He didn't know what to do. He felt a sudden sense of relief when the doorbell rang. He got up signaling his one index finger to indicate 'One minute'. Somehow I nodded. I listened very intently. But it was hard considering the gasping was coming out in muffled breaths. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore. I had heard a female's voice. I stood up and slowly crept to the door. I felt something rip out my heart. I couldn't believe my eye's.
He was passionately kissing this strange woman. Finally her eyes opened and she gasped. I swallowed hard as I pushed him out of the way and went running down the stairs. I heard him call my name but I kept running trying to make sense of what just happened. I had almost reached the landing when I tripped off of the last few steps. I went flying but immediately felt myself being steadied. Someone had his strong hands on my waist. I opened my eyes thinking that maybe I had died. I blinked. Was I looking into the face of an angel?
He was utterly beautiful; down to the last speck of yellow in his piercing blue eyes. His smile sent shivers into my spine. I felt a strange feeling creep up. I didn't know what to make of it but somehow a faint smile came upon my quivering lips. He spoke; it was like holding a piece of silk next to my ears. It was mind shattering. He took his hands off of my waist. His cold hands skimmed quickly against mine.
He smiled again. "I'm Sean", he gestured out his hand.
I shook it feeling intensely refreshed at his touch.
"Lucy", I replied, all traces of hurt were suddenly washed from my face.
He reached in his pocket and handed me strings make of silk. I looked at him mystified and bewildered. Then suddenly I realized what they were for. Sean wanted nothing more then to tie up the strings of my heart again. I felt my face instantly brighten and the blood rush immediately to my cheeks.
I looked down the strings they were replaced by something else. It was fluttering beautifully. Sean closed my hand so that I couldn't see. He told me to close my eye's. I did as he said. I waited patiently for him to give me the okay. Finally he did.
"Open your eyes Lucy", he said in his silky voice.
I opened my eye's and my hand opened.
Inside my hand was a single butterfly. It was traced in a pretty lilac colour. It's arch caused me to gasp. It was traced with many things actually.
Most of all; beauty, grace, and hopefully a love that could not be broken this time.
Finally I was the girl that didn't need to spend my time chasing butterflies. Instead it found me.