Whatever Shall I Do? | Teen Ink

Whatever Shall I Do?

May 23, 2009
By Coldfire SILVER, Hammond, Louisiana
Coldfire SILVER, Hammond, Louisiana
8 articles 2 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We're too young to know that certain things are impossible, so we do them anyway." - William Penn

What ever shall I do? This horrid beauty tears at my consciousness and captivates my senses. This feeling of the past is haunting the present and all I want is to get away, if it wasn’t for my desire to stay and revel in the exuberantly hopeful sadness in the wake of far previous joys and premature exhilarations.
Whatever shall I do? The Origin plays with the composition of my sanity by achieving nothing of the sort. I hope that it will hear my internal pleas for a future return to the past, though I am certain it will not. Why would it, if it has already ratified an argument of the exact opposite of mine which remains yet unspoken? No, indeed The Origin has no obligations to me any longer, since those same obligations were abolished long ago. Too long ago. Far too long ago to warrant these circumstances with respects to any and all logic and sense of the world. The Origin acknowledges my presence narrowly enough to toss my imagination into childish fantasies, and as for the rest of the time that I am in the presence of The Origin, it simply ignores me, as if thrusting my countenance into a brick wall of sludgy mud.
Whatever shall I do? The Origin’s angelic beauty is drawing me into its harrowing embrace. The Origin appears to be soft and smooth and pleasant to hold, and indeed it was. Was in past times, but now...now it retains the same gorgeous, enticing appearance, but has gained invisible spikes and spines of faithlessness, doubt, and, apparently, absence of memory. Or rather, wishes of absence. I cannot lie however, I too wish for the absence of memories. Memories, at least, of the almost vain happiness that was once shared. Alas, all cases of vain happiness in the world are condemned to a hopeless failure, and so I am forcibly content with the status quo. I would rather this hopeless paradox than another incomplete case of vain happiness, and probably this again anyway. And yet I again ask: Whatever shall I do?

The author's comments:
This is sort of a way to get out what I'm feeling right now. Me and "The Origin" used to be sort of sweethearts, until I found out that my parents don't want me in a relationship until I'm older, so I had to break it off right before I was going to make her mine, even though we both still liked each other. She apparently decided it was time to get over me since we don't have a way to be together, but I was (am) still trying to forget my feelings for her and our past sort-of-relationship. I haven't seen her or spoken to her for almost five months until now,when we were both asked to work backstage for a community theatre group. I never thought seeing her again would make me miss her even more.

Similar Articles


This article has 5 comments.

alibi SILVER said...
on Dec. 30 2011 at 7:54 pm
alibi SILVER, Corry, Pennsylvania
6 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm always positive, except when I'm not."

That was amazing! It was really heartfelt, and it proves that girls aren't the only ones who can write about romance! Please keep writing! You have an awesome talent for it!

Dancing2222 said...
on Jun. 7 2011 at 10:29 am
Thank your for proving that girls aren't the only ones that can write about love:)

Oldsoul said...
on Mar. 9 2011 at 6:38 pm
this was really cool :) the same thing is happening with me and this guy. it makes me mad. 

on Dec. 2 2010 at 7:27 pm

That was absolutly fantastic. It is so deep and relatable. Reading your story I could feel it all, like it was happening to me.

And on a personal note, I know how you feel... it really hurts when you cant be with someone you really care about, especially when you still have to see them. I sware I'm over my ex and then I see him or he is mentioned... and all the old feelings will come back and I've got to deal with it.. not cool bro.

on Mar. 7 2010 at 11:54 am
ilove2read124 GOLD, Dix Hills, New York
11 articles 0 photos 66 comments
woww u r good so much imagery so touching, i could tell u really her like her maybe even love her