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EC-AM=Heartbreak Chapter 18
February 20, 2010
I was eating breakfast when the doorbell rang the next morning. I hadn’t gotten dressed, but luckily I had at least brushed my hair. I put my hand on the brass knob and opened the door. To my surprise, Will was standing at my doorstep.
“Hey, Will,” I said, “Come on in,”
Will stepped inside of the house, dressed in his usual leather jacket and dark-wash skinny jeans. I was embarrassed to be wearing my pajamas in front of him, and decided that I had to go change into some normal clothes. “I’ll be right back,” I told him.
“Wait, where are you going?” Will inquired when I was halfway up the stairs.
“Just going to change,” I informed him as I raced up the stairs.
“Have fun,” he called after me.
When I got up to my room, I quickly threw on a white camisole with a raspberry cardigan over it, and a pair of jeans. Then I hurried back downstairs, only to find Will sitting at my kitchen table, texting someone on his cell phone.
“Who you texting?” I asked from behind him.
He whipped his head around to look at me, clearly taken by surprise. “Wow, that was fast.” he commented.
“Yeah, I have to admit, I have mad changing skills.” I replied, grinning at him.
He grinned back, but then his phone vibrated in his hand, so he flipped it open to read his new text message. His fingers moved swiftly across his phone’s keyboard, and then he pressed a button and flipped the phone shut once again.
“So, who you texting?” I repeated.
“I bet you’re wondering why I came here, aren’t you?” he said, completely ignoring my question. And I realized that this was his way of letting me know that he didn’t want to answer my question. So rather than arguing with him about, which would be pointless, I acted as if I’d never even asked him anything.
“Yeah, why are you here?” I replied.
“Well, around seven o’clock in the morning, I woke up and I had this idea for a song in my head. I don’t know how, but I guess it came to me overnight. Anyways, for the last two hours, I’ve been writing down the lyrics, the notes, and fine-tuning it with my guitar. So I have the entire song written, but something seems kind of off. I just can’t figure out what. So I was wondering if you could listen to it, and maybe you’ll be able to critique it for me.”
I couldn’t think of any reason not to accept his offer, so instead, I did. “Sure, sounds good to me.”
“Cool, let me just run over to my house and get my guitar really fast,” And before I had a chance to respond, he was already out the door. He returned exactly two minutes later, guitar in one hand and sheets of written down music in the other. He pulled a chair away from the kitchen table so he had room to sit down with his guitar, and then he positioned himself so that he was able to play and look at the music and lyrics he’d scrawled down at the same time. “Ok, I’m ready, how about you?” he asked.
“Ready,” I responded.
He nodded, taking a deep breath before beginning. The first few chords started off with just guitar music. The song sounded very tranquil and acoustic, and his guitar playing was pretty great. And then he began to sing.
“Words deep inside my heart
Fighting to break free
But my never-ending fear
Just won’t let me speak
I’m dying to tell you
Just how much I want you
But what can I say
When my heart gets in the way”
His voice was so smooth and beautiful. It was truly amazing. Will really had talent. And he great song-writing skills too. The lyrics and music were both just so great, and had so much meaning. I listened contently as he began to sing the chorus.
“You are the only one
Who keeps me hanging on
And when I see you, oh
I just lose all control
You’re the one I’m thinking of
I think I’m falling in love
But you’ll never know”
I heard the emotion in his voice when he sang, and I could tell just by hearing him that singing was his true passion. If this was his dream, then he should chase it, because he had some incredible talent. I’d never heard someone sound so pure and pitch-perfect. Sure, a few of the notes were a bit pitchy, but he was only human. And besides, he sounded a whole lot better than some of these rich and famous celebrities did live.
“The hardest part is when
I look into your eyes
You don’t know how I feel
Cause my feelings are disguised
Why do I do this
I can’t get through this
But what can I do
When my heart belongs to you”
I could tell that this song had been inspired by someone. A secret crush perhaps… That’s what it sounded like to me. Except, when he was telling me all about his love life, he never mentioned any secret crushes. And judging by the lyrics of this song, it sounded like it was turning into more than just a crush.
He sang the chorus once more, his voice just as flawless as before, and then he sang the last verse to end the song.
“You’ve got a hold one me
And you just won’t let go
But you’ll never know”
“That was absolutely amazing!” I cried. “You really have an incredible voice! And you’re guitar playing is just as great! I really do believe that you could go far with this music career. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone sound so good live.”
“Really? You’re not just saying that to avoid hurting my feelings?” he queried.
“No, I’m serious,” I replied.
“Ok, because if you’re just saying that to avoid hurting my feelings, then you don’t have to. I want you’re honest opinion, even if you think I sucked.”
“Well I can honestly say that you definitely did not suck. You were great, really.” I assured him.
Finally, he smiled, believing me. “Ok, if you say so.”
“And the song was great too.” I added. “I know you said you thought it was missing something, but I definitely don’t think that at all. I think it sounds perfect just the way it is.”
“Alright, well thank you for your honest opinion.” he said to me, standing up and placing his guitar down on my kitchen table.
“Anytime,” I replied amiably.
He nodded in response, “Yeah, well I’d better get going now. I know that my parents want me to go job-hunting today.”
“Ooh, sounds like fun,” I remarked sarcastically.
“I still don’t get why you use sarcasm so much, but yeah, I think it’s going to be pretty miserable too.”
I laughed briskly, “Ok, well I should probably let you go now. Thanks for letting me be the first one to hear your new song.”
“It was my pleasure,”
We both said goodbye one last time before he left. But after he did, I realized something. That song he’d just sang kind of related to me in a way. Like the line: “Words deep inside my heart fighting to break free, but my never ending fear just won’t let me speak” or “And when I see you, oh, I just lose all control” and especially “You’re the one I’m thinking of, I think I’m falling in love”
I could totally relate to that because that was the way I was beginning to feel about Will.
I want so badly to say that I’m not beginning to fall for Will…but I know that if I did, I’d be lying. I just can’t help it though. He’s funny, he’s kind, he’s smart, he’s hot. Plus he has that whole “bad boy” vibe, which doesn’t usually turn me on. But with Will it most definitely turns me on.
One other thing I like about Will is that he’s different. Ash was a pretty normal guy, aside from his streaks of violence and rage, and Cole’s a pretty normal guy too. But there’s something about Will that isn’t normal, and I like that.
I know I’m kind of repeating myself each time I say that Will’s different than Ash and Cole, and that that’s why I like him., but it’s true. He has a very unique personality. The only problem is that he has a girlfriend. And I also have a feeling that he’s not exactly over his ex either. That picture I saw of him and Valerie in his car is what’s provoking this assumption.
My phone vibrated on my nightstand beside me. I picked it up to read the new text I’d received, but was taken by surprise when I saw who it was from. Cole. Immediately, I opened up the text he’d sent me and read it.
Hey, how r u?
I couldn’t stifle the nostalgic grin that spread across my face when I read this. Cole was so sweet to check up on me the way he did. My fluttered as the memory of him holding me close in his strong arms when I was having a breakdown in his car. He’d wrapped me up tightly, comforting me when I needed him to. And that night, we’d almost gone too far in the Holiday Inn hotel room.
I remembered that incident. But I remembered the part before he stuck his hand under my shirt. I remembered kissing him, and how it felt so good to be kissing him rather than Ash.
I bit my lip and tuned back into reality where Cole no longer loved me, where he was with Katrina. When I recalled this, I couldn’t help but to grimace. And when I typed in my text on my phone, I chose my words carefully before pressing the send button.
I’m alright, I really miss you.
I wasn’t sure how he’d react to the that text. There was a possibility that he’d get mad at me again like how he did on the plane, that he would reply by telling me that I needed to suck it up and move on with my life, that he didn’t miss me, so I just forget about him. But there was also a slim chance that he’d reply telling me that he missed me too and that he was wrong for choosing Katrina over me and that he still loved me and wanted nothing but to be with me.
I was hoping for the latter, but I definitely wasn’t expecting it. My phone buzzed and held my breath as I held it up to read.
I miss u 2. And I broke up with Katrina. Things just didn’t feel right between us after u left.
My entire body felt numb as I read this. I was so incredibly shocked, in a good way of course. This was completely and totally unpredicted. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Cole had dumped Katrina because he was missing me. I had to have been hallucinating. But when I looked back at the text for a second time, it was still there. And within a few seconds, a new text popped up from him.
U look really beautiful by the way. The cardigan ur wearing really brings out the blue in ur eyes.
I was now utterly confused. How in the world did Cole know what cardigan I was wearing? I glanced around the room, half-expecting him to be standing behind me, staring at me. Although, that would be really strange, not to mention creepy. But he wasn’t standing there, so how could he possibly have known what I was wearing? The only way to find out for sure was to ask him. So I did.
How do u know I’m wearing a cardigan?
He texted me back about five seconds later.
Look out ur window.
I put the phone down and approached my window, following Cole’s directions and looking out through the glass. Sure enough, Cole was standing exactly where Will had been standing two nights ago.
Shocked, but happy to see him, I opened up the window and called down to him. “Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at college right now?” I cried.
“Yeah, but I couldn’t stand being away from you. I had to come back. When you left, something inside of me snapped. It was like a wake up call or something. And I realized that all I want is you. If you don’t want to take me back, I completely understand. I know I’m probably going to get on my hands and knees and beg for you to forgive me after the way I yelled at you on the plane. But I’m willing to do anything, even beg, in order for you to take me back.”
His words brought tears of joy to my eyes. “You don’t have to beg.” I told him. “Of course I’ll take you back! I love you!”
“I love you too!” Hearing those four simple words coming out of Cole’s mouth, and knowing that they were meant for me was all I needed to be happy. This was so surreal. I couldn’t believe he’d come back for me, but I was so ecstatic that he did.
“Give me a second,” I said to him. “I’m coming down.” He nodded, still grinning up at me, looking happy as ever. And to know that I brought him happiness brought me even more happiness.
I shut my window, slipped on my black Converse and jacket, and sprinted down the stairs. I raced past Mom, who glanced up at me from her seat on the couch as I went by. “Where are you going?” she called after me.
“Outside!” I replied, rushing out the door and into the frigid February air. When I reached the side of the house where Cole was standing, it was like a moment straight out of all those sappy romance movies.
A huge smile spread across both of our faces as we took a second to gaze into each other’s eyes, glad to be face to face once again. And then my legs carried me towards him in a dash. When I reached him, his arms were wide open, welcoming me into his warm embrace. A enveloped my arms around his neck, never wanting to let go, and as soon as our lips met, I dissolved in his strong, comforting arms.
It felt so good to kiss him again, to hold him again, to hear him tell me that he loved me again. Him being there was a true miracle. If I could’ve, I would have stayed in that moment forever. It was absolutely perfect, and all of the emotions that I’d began to develop for Will melted away.
“I’m so sorry for leaving you,” he whispered softly in my ear.
“Don’t apologize, it wasn’t your fault.” I murmured.
“I’ll never let you slip away again. I promise.” he vowed. And I believed him. I believed every single word he said to me.
Author's Note: Ok, so Cole's back. Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? Just wondering... :)