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EC-AM=Heartbreak Chapter 20
February 20, 2010
How could this have happened? How could my dad, the man who I trusted, the man who raised me have done this? Not only has he hurt Mom, but he hurt me. He’s a monster. And I never want to see him again. I can’t even look him in the eye anymore. If he loves Nina so much, then he can go be with her.
What does he see in her anyways? She’s annoying, rude, nosy. Her voice is high pitched and a bit squeaky, making her even more annoying. She’s much too perky and bubbly. She’s not nearly as beautiful as my mom. Plus, she’s only like, twenty-four! Dad is forty-eight! FORTY FREAKIN’ EIGHT!
He’s twice her age! He could be her father! She could be my sister! That’s just gross! Why the hell would she want to be with a guy whose twice her age and already has a family? What’s the matter with her? Does she enjoy tearing families apart or something?
Ugh, I can’t stand this. I’m so mad, so shocked, so heartbroken. Why is it that every time something good happens to me, something tragically horrible follows it?
“Hey,” Will’s familiar voice called out to me from out the window. I flipped my diary shut, wiped away my tears with the back of my hand, and approached my window.
“Hey,” I replied.
“I thought you told me you were single.” he stated. I squinted at him, confused as to how he found out about Cole and I. “I saw the little love fest between you and that guy, Cole out my window.”
“Oh,” I said, blushing a bit. “Well, he came and told me that he still loves me, so we’re back together now.”
“Uh huh, and then you started making out and he tried to get laid again.” he remarked, grinning as my blush grew deeper.
“You saw that too?” I inquired sheepishly.
He nodded, “You’ve really got to start closing your drapes. No offense, but I don’t really want to witness you and Cole…” he trailed off, but I knew exactly what he meant. By that time, my entire face was beet red in a mixture of humiliation and shame.
“Then maybe you shouldn’t be gawking at us out your window.” I retorted, trying to redeem my dignity.
“Touché,” he replied flatly. “But you were gawking at me two days ago, so I guess we’re even now.”
I nodded, “Sure, we’re even.” I could hear my mom blubbering as she padded down the hall past my room, and then the slam of her bedroom door. Immediately, I was reminded of what had just occurred only a few minutes ago. I bit my lip, trying to keep the tears from pouring down my face.
“What’s wrong? You look sad. Did I say something offensive?” Will asked, his voice concerned.
“No, I just found out that my dad has been cheating on my mom. It’s kind of hard to take in.” I confessed. Normally, I probably wouldn’t admit this to a guy I’d just met a few days earlier, but I felt a sense of trust with Will. Like I could be honest with him for some reason.
“Wow,” he said, his voice emotionless. “That seriously sucks.”
“Yeah, it definitely does.” I agreed, trying to ignore Mom’s wailing cries.
“I would ask if you wanted to talk to me about it, but I’m not the type to discuss emotions.”
“It’s fine. I don’t really want to talk about it right now anyways. I kind of just want to be alone.” I told him.
“Why would you want to be alone after something like this has happened?” he queried. “If you sit there in your room all alone, there’s no doubt you’ll start thinking about it again, which will only make you feel worse. It would make a lot more sense for us to go do something to take your mind off of it, don’t you think?”
I pondered this for a moment, only to realize that he was absolutely right. When you got past the crazy hair and punk-rocker wardrobe, Will was actually very insightful. “I guess that does make sense.”
“Cool, meet me outside.” And without waiting for my response, he turned away from his window and walked out of his room. So with a sigh, I walked downstairs and out the door, not bothering to tell Mom that I was leaving. I didn’t want to have to see her in this state of depression. I wasn’t so sure I could handle it.
I grabbed my jacket off the back of the couch, where I’d left it, slipped on my black Converse, and walked outside. “Follow me,” Will said. He was already standing on my doorstep when I walked out.
“Um, ok,” I replied, doing as he said and following him over to his car. He climbed into the driver’s seat, so I climbed in next to him, in the passenger’s seat. “Where exactly are we going?” I wondered aloud as he backed out of his driveway.
“Not sure,” he admitted.
“So we’re just going to drive around aimlessly then?” I questioned.
“Pretty much,” he replied. “Unless there’s a place that you’d like to go to,”
I shook my head, “Nope, I guess driving aimlessly is fine.”
“Cool,” he said casually. So we just drove. For the first couple minutes, we didn’t say anything to each other, but as we headed down the road, approaching St. Edward’s Hospital, I spoke up.
“That’s where she works.” I said, mostly to myself.
“Where who works?” Will asked.
“Nina, the girl my dad’s been seeing behind my mom’s back.” I replied, staring at the hospital, my eyes glassy.
Without a response to what I’d told him, Will made a sharp right, turning into the parking lot of the hospital. “What are you doing?” I demanded.
“You said the girl your dad’s been seeing works here, right?” he inquired.
“Yeah,” I replied, not so sure I liked where he was going with this.
“Well, that’s why we’re here. I think you should tell her how it feels to know that your dad is seeing her. Maybe then she’ll realize that she’s destroying a family.” he said, sounding determined and even a little angry.
“But she already knows.” I admitted. “She’s met me before, she knows who I am. Plus, my dad told her about my mom and I.”
His jaw clenched and his eyes filled with rage. “She knew about you and your mom and she didn’t even care?”
I nodded, unable to meet his fiery gaze. And without another word, he opened his car door and stepped out into the parking lot. He slammed the door shut and walked around the car to open my door for me. I stepped out and followed him up to the front door of the hospital, trying to keep up with his long strides.
He burst into the lobby, as I trailed behind him, and marched right up to the front desk. The second I saw Nina’s bright, perky smile, I felt my skin boil with fury. She was happy. She had just destroyed me family, yet she was happy. Would it be wrong if I clawed her eyes out?
“Are you Nina?” Will demanded, his voice thick with angry determination.
“Yes, that’s me.” she replied, pointing at her nametag. I could tell by her expression that she was a bit confused by this confrontation. But when she saw me standing behind Will, her eyes lit up with recognition. “Hey, Evalynne!” she said jovially. “I’m so sorry about your mother-in-law.”
She had no right to be sympathizing for me. Not after what she’d done. “Actually,” I began, “I’m pretty much over that by now. But I’m not over the fact that my parents are getting a divorce.” When I said this, the corners of her mouth turned down into a nervous frown. “It turns out my dad’s been cheating on my mom.” I continued. “Apparently, the woman he’s been seeing works here. In fact, she’s a secretary, just like you. And the weirdest part is that her name is Nina too.”
Nina bit her lip and her eyes filled with contrition. “So you found out,” It was more of a statement than a question.
“While you were with my dad, did you ever stop to think what would happen if his wife and daughter ever found out about you? Did you ever stop and ask yourself if what you were doing was wrong? Did you even care that because of you, his family was going to be completely and utterly destroyed?” I demanded, my voice rising in exasperation.
“I knew that it was wrong, and I knew that it would probably hurt his family. And I did care that they would get hurt. But I love your father, and he loves me. He’s happier with me than he is with your mother. He’s told me. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to give him up. I hope that you can accept that.” she told me, her voice soft and even.
I couldn’t even begin to control the rage that boiled under my skin. I couldn’t believe that she seriously had the nerve to tell me that my dad loved her more than he loved Mom. This lady was out of her mind if she thought that I would even consider accepting her into my family. No freakin’ way.
“He doesn’t love you.” I said to her, tears flooding my eyes. “He loves me and my mom. He loves his family. And I don’t care what he told you. Whatever he said isn’t true. He doesn’t really love you.”
She grimaced as if she felt sorry for me. As if she pitied me for believing this. That grimace only made me angrier. “I’m sorry that you’re so upset about this.” she told me apologetically. “Maybe if you give it some time, you’ll be able to accept it.”
“You can give me all the time in the freakin’ world, but I’ll never accept it.” I shot back at her.
“Well that’s just too bad, because you’re dad and I have been very happy together for three and a half months now. And if he’s getting a divorce with your mom, it’s only a matter of time before he proposes to me. Face it, I’m not leaving your dad anytime soon.” she remarked a bit smugly.
I was unable to respond to this. The mix of anger and letdown and sorrow I was feeling was too much for me to handle all at once. I was speechless.
“You spiteful, heartless witch,” Will snapped suddenly, eyeing her disdainfully.
“Excuse me?” she cried, sounding appalled.
“You heard me loud and clear!” Will retorted. “If you were really in love with this man, then you would’ve never agreed to have this affair with him in the first place. If you actually cared about him, you would’ve encouraged him to try and work things out with his family. But you obviously don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
She gasped, taken aback by his outburst. “Both of you need to leave right now.” she stated.
“We’ll leave,” I told her, “but first I want to ask you something. How can you possibly live with yourself knowing what you’ve done to a perfectly innocent family?”
Her eyes were glassy, emotionless. “Leave. Now.”
I shook my head, disgusted with her ruthlessness. I had nothing more to say to her. She obviously didn’t care about me or my mom, so it didn’t matter what I said anyways. I couldn’t change the way she felt. So I turned on my heel and stormed out of the building, with Will following close behind me.
And as I was walking out into the parking lot, my dad was walking towards the front door. Our eyes met, and we just stood there for a moment, only about two feet away from each other.
“I talked to Nina. She told me that you said you loved her more than mom.” I stated. “Is it true? Did you really say that?”
He looked away from me, then glanced back, his eyes filling with remorse. “I didn’t mean it. I swear I didn’t mean it.” he told me, not even realizing that Will was there.
“But you said it.” I remarked. Then I pushed past him, traipsing over to Will’s car and climbing into the passenger’s seat the second Will unlocked the doors. Will sat down in his own seat and started up the car, backing out of his parking spot.
“You’re crying.” he stated, glancing at my tear-stained face.
“I just can’t believe he actually said that.” I told him.
He sighed and pulled the car over at the curb near the front door. But I didn’t question it, I just sat there and let the tears flow freely. Will turned to look at me, his face filled with empathy. And then he leaned over and enveloped me into his arms, caressing my trembling body in a warm, comforting hug.
And for some reason, I felt a little better. I was still completely dejected, but just being in his arms lessened the pain a bit. It made me feel placated, as if there was still hope. It was pretty nice to be able to feel this way so easily. Although it also left me with those same feelings that I’d had for Will before. And I knew that I liked him as more than just a friend.