The Choice I Made | Teen Ink

The Choice I Made

August 22, 2010
By skyblue95 PLATINUM, Bear, Delaware
skyblue95 PLATINUM, Bear, Delaware
35 articles 1 photo 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am paraphrasing, of course. "My only fear is that when they are turned to loving they will find we are turned to hating." -Reverand Msimangu, Cry, The Beloved Country (a book by Alan Paton)

I knew he would never accept it. It was supposed to be something we would be together. I never expected him to be okay with it. And of course, I was right.

“Nelly,” he said, in a tone I knew all too well-the tone that means ‘absolutely not’.

“It’s supposed to make us closer,” I whispered, trying to sound convincing.

“We can’t. What would your parents think?”

“That we’re freaks… But who cares? When you’re in love, you don’t think with your head, you think with your heart. Isn’t that what you said?” He bit his lip meaning I had made my point. “See? Please, Blake, it’ll only take a few minutes.” When he didn’t agree I said again, “Please. I want us to be closer than ever. And with this, we will be…we have to be.”

“It won’t just take ‘a few minutes’. This will take days and days of preparation and I don’t know if I’ll be able to…hold myself back.” There was a pain in his eyes when he said this. I didn’t want to make him relive his worst nightmare, but what choice did I have? He was being completely stubborn.

“Look, forget about what happened back in London. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Yes it does!” His voice was harsh and accusing. “I hurt you. And I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“Blake… You didn’t hurt me.”

“Yes I did,” he said, a little more calmly this time. “I couldn’t stop myself. I will not put you through that again. I…I can’t.” He looked away from me and I moved to be in his view again.

“You are one of the good guys. You don’t have to pretend like you’re not.” I took his cheek in my hand and made him look at me. “Blake. I love you. And I know you love me enough to stop yourself. Please. You can do this, I know you can.”

He was silent for a little while and then he took my hand and led me over to his bed. We sat down and he looked at me, his eyes quickly going red with hunger. I knew he thought this would scare me but it didn’t, not even in the least. I wanted to be just like him, needed to be just like him. I couldn’t touch him or even look at him without feeling that we were too different. And since I wasn’t ready to give him up just yet, this was our only alternative.

As I waited for the sting of what was to come, I thought about my parents. What would they think when I didn’t come home tonight? Or the next night, or…ever really? Would they just automatically assume I was dead, or would they come look for me? Or would they just not even care? It was most likely going to be the third option because, well, they never cared. I had once stayed with Blake for a whole week, came home, and it was like nothing even happened, like they didn’t even know I had stayed away from home for that long. Of course, it wasn’t a home anymore.

Blake leaned forward and I flinched when his fangs protruded my neck. The start of the Changing process was long and boring, but then I started to feel…exhilarated? Invincible? No, I don’t think those are the words for it. I don’t think there even is a word for it. I felt like anything or anyone that wanted to hurt him or me had to hurt both of us for the other to give up… Does that make sense? Oh well.

I think I started to black out after a little while, like I was losing too much blood.

“Blake,” I said, “stop.” And whether it was of his own will or my voice, I couldn’t tell, but he stopped. I looked at him and smiled, dazedly. I didn’t look at this like it was the end of my old life, but like it was the beginning of my new one. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said.

And then I passed out…

The author's comments:
I wrote this after going out with my family to the mall. And, no matter how wierd it may be, I got the inspiration from seeing so many people there with pale skin and cool clothes that looked like they could be a vampire. And then all the ideas started to float into my brain and I wrote it as soon as I got home. I hope anyone who reads this will see that what the main character, the girl, says in the beginning, "when you're in love, you don't think with your head, you think with your heart," is pretty much true.

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This article has 8 comments.

riteren BRONZE said...
on Mar. 8 2011 at 9:50 pm
riteren BRONZE, Oak Park, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% your reaction to it"

Followd your work off of shattered glass (plz check out mine, why not?) Yeah, first thing came to mind was twilight; you write very well though! I liked the beginning but yeah, I don't like twilight :(

emrose SILVER said...
on Jan. 23 2011 at 12:33 pm
emrose SILVER, Rising Sun, Other
6 articles 0 photos 26 comments
Ummm good. A lot like every other vampire story I have read but good.

on Oct. 5 2010 at 5:02 pm
freewriter_123 SILVER, Miramar, Florida
6 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door." ;)

Well of course it does. Every vampire story is going to sound like twilight because you cant write a vampire love story without sounding like twilight.

KellyR GOLD said...
on Oct. 5 2010 at 12:58 pm
KellyR GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 0 photos 258 comments

Favorite Quote:
We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

This was nicely written BUT kind of unoriginal. I mean basicly the exact same thing happens in the twilight stories. It feels like you ripped a page out of one of the books and changed the names. I hope I don't sound to mean in saying that.

on Sep. 30 2010 at 7:32 am
skyblue95 PLATINUM, Bear, Delaware
35 articles 1 photo 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am paraphrasing, of course. "My only fear is that when they are turned to loving they will find we are turned to hating." -Reverand Msimangu, Cry, The Beloved Country (a book by Alan Paton)

oopsss... wrong word there. :) haha it wasnt meant to be "protruded" it was meant to be "punctured". i guess i didnt read over this as well i thought i did. lol thanks for the critique and i will deffinitly check out ur work

AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 17 2010 at 6:41 am
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 606 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

I'm with thepreechyteenager - vampires aren't really my thing.  I'm more of a wizard or jedi type-person. :)  But here is my critique anyway!

The good:  The details in this, as well as the emotions are very good.  Even though, as I said, vampires aren't my thing, I really liked this.  Good writing!

The bad:  Protruded means "stuck out", so you can't really protrude somebody's neck.... ;)

The random:  This was nice!  Keep up the good work!


PS: Can you check out Duty: To Heart?

on Aug. 25 2010 at 2:49 pm
AnnaNana PLATINUM, Corinth, Mississippi
20 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live the way you die- All of a sudden: That's the way to go.

I have always loved vampires since I ws six when the blade trinity came out. When Twilight came out it seemed like everyone was into them which I thought was really cool and ive read a lot of pieces on here about vampires and this is one of the most romantic and well written stories ive read about them so good job


on Aug. 25 2010 at 2:01 pm
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

Ever since the explosion of Twilight, I've never been one for vampire stories.  I liked this pretty well though.  It was pretty romanic, and I liked your vocab.  I thought parts of it might have been a little over dramatic, but only because the characters weren't very well established yet, so it seemed a little much.

I saw no grammar/spelling errors, so good job for that!!!


Can you check out my story, "Encounter"?  I think you might like it!