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The Love We Hide
“Why do you do this to me?” I bellowed my anger building. “Don’t tell me you don’t know,” I barked, “I know you have a reason. He just sat there taunting me and laughing at my fits of anger. “Wipe the smile off your face.” I snapped at him.
Quickly coming closer to me, he gave off an aura of a too confident attitude. With his finger fiddling with one of my ringlet curls he said, “I get you riled up because you get mad so easily. It fascinates me.” I thinned my eyes down to a mere squint. “It fascinates you.” I repeated back.
“There’s that and you look cute when you’re mad.” He said. I could feel my frown relax.
“You think it’s cute?” I raised my eyebrow suspiciously.
“Completely.” He answered pulling on my belt loops causing my balance to fall into his grasp.
“How come you know every single button to push.” I said a smirk growing on my face.
“Lia,” Jason laughed, “I’ve known you for eighteen years now. I know all your buttons. I even know about ones you haven’t even told me about yet.”
“Okay tell me five things about me that I haven’t told you about yet.” I put extra emphasis on the yet.
“Number 1, you can only have twelve ice cubes in all your drinks. Number 2, you hate it when people tell you what to do. Number 3, the winter time is your least favorite season. Number 4, you hate stupid pointless movie trailers. Number 5, you get irritated when you think your right and you’re not.” He said
I could feel my face turn red in defeat. “Touché” I whispered quietly.
“What did you say? I didn’t hear you.” He teased as he cuffed his hand around his ear.
“Fine, you win.” I admitted. “WHOOP! A POINT FOR TEAM JASON!” He hollered, his arms flying straight up in the air.
“Stop it.” I said attempting to punch him in the arm before he encased my wrist inside his hands.
“Pretty girls don’t fight” he said wiggling his finger side to side. Still shocked at his quick reflexes I stared wide eyed at his hand that covered my wrist. I slowly directed my gaze up to his eyes, within them I saw a spark I had overlooked many times.
I yanked my wrist out of his hand. “Sorry” I muttered. “Why are you apologizing?” he questioned. “I don’t know. I felt like I should.” I lied.
“Um I got to go.” I said, “I’ll call you later.” I rushed out of his backyard and to my car. Once in the safety of my 2004 Chrysler Pacifica, I contemplated what had just happened; when I had looked into Jason’s forest green eyes I felt something more than the friendship we’ve had since we were a little over a year old.
“No, this can’t be possible.” I said aloud. I started up my car and pulled away from Jason’s house. As I was driving out of his neighborhood, I thought over and over “Why was I feeling this? I have never felt this way about him before why now?” I took the turn into my neighborhood and down onto my street.
Fazed with questions, I sluggishly made my way to my room where I plopped down on my bed. A vivid image of Jason popped up in my mind.
I could perfectly see his dark baggy-but-not-super-baggy jeans, his kind-of fitted purple shirt (he knows I love the color purple), and his seashell necklace I gave him last year after I went to the beach. I could even see his curly blackish-dark-brownish hair cradling his gorgeous green eyes. For the first time I noticed how beautiful his lips were and how much I wanted to kiss them.
I shook my head pushing the image of him out of my mind, no matter how much I wanted it there. I hoisted myself off of my bed and scrambled into the bathroom. I splashed chilling water over my face.
Looking into the mirror I saw the same person I had always been; Jason’s best friend. We had always dated other people and had never been jealous. I had never been jealous. Why had I felt something between us today?
Gathering my curls into a hair tie I made a high ponytail upon the top of my head. I made my way to my dresser and peeled off my cloths and hopped into my Bugs Bunny shorts and my pink tank top. I stretched out across my bed and closed my eyes.
After about a minute of silence, the sound of Jason’s ringtone played loudly. He had chosen When I Grow Up by The Pussycat Dolls. “When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies. When I grow up, I wanna see the world, Drive nice cars, I wanna have groupies. When I grow up, be on TV, People know me, be on magazines. When I grow up, Fresh and clean, Number one chick when I step out on the scene.” My phone sang. I tossed my hand on top of my phone and pressed talk.
“Hey Lia” Jason said. “Um hi Jason” I replied. “What are you doing?” he asked. “Nothing much” I said back. The phone line went dead. “Uh Jason are you still there?” I spoke into the phone. “Oh well” I thought.
A while later I heard the doorbell ring downstairs. I tumbled down my stairs to the front door. Yawning, I opened the door, shocked to see Jason standing in the door frame. His long arms were full of bags of popcorn, candy, and our favorite movies.
“Movie night!” he said a cheery smile spread across his face. Letting himself in he set down the movies and candy and made his way to the microwave in the kitchen.
I shut the door, just going along with what he was doing, and walked into the kitchen.
As I placed the popcorn into the microwave, Lia strolled in. “What movies did you bring?” she asked. “I brought Sleepless in Seattle, Ironman, The Spiderwick Chronicles, and Get Smart.” I replied. “Good picks.” She said while nibbling on a piece of popcorn.
I handed her the big bowl of popcorn and we both headed for the couch. She put the popcorn next to the movies as she said, “Which movie should we watch first?”
“Get smart. It’s my favorite.”I replied. “Okay, but next we’re gonna watch Sleepless in Seattle. It may be old, but it’s my favorite.” She said as she put the movie in.
As she sat next to me I was tempted to put my arm around her and pull her close, but she probably thinks we’re just friends. We’ve always been friends, but for a while now I’ve completely head over heels in love with her. I just don’t know how to tell her.
Three boxes of Milk Duds, two bags of popcorn, four packages of Twizlers, and four movies later Lia’s head was on my lap and she was sound asleep. I looked at the clock. It read 1:34 in the morning. I ran my fingers through her blond hair. Even though her eyes were closed and it was dark I could still see, in my mind, the beautiful shade of blue her eyes were.
In the silence of Lia’s house I whispered to her unconscious self, “I love you.” It was true. I was in love with my best friend. It felt good to say it to her even though she couldn’t hear me. That’s as far as I’d go with telling her. For now.
I lifted her up and carried her upstairs. I placed her gently onto her bed and stared at her doll-like face. I rubbed my hand on her face causing her to stir a little bit. In her sleep I heard her mumble “No Jason please stay. You can sleep with me in my bed. Just don’t leave.”
I was shocked. She was letting me be super close to her. I wasted no time climbing into bed with her. I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
I was awakened by the sound and smell of sizzling bacon in a pan. I walked into the kitchen rubbing my eyes and was surprised to see Jason making bacon in my kitchen, shirtless.
“Good morning sleepy head.” He called to me. I tried not to stare so deeply at his extremely muscular body frame.
Then a question struck me. “How come your still here Jason?” His reply came quickly, “You fell asleep and I carried you upstairs, put you in your bed and came back down here and slept on the couch.” Somehow I could tell that that wasn’t the whole truth, but I ignored it.
“Um Lia, what do you want to do today?” Jason asked. “I don’t know. What do you want to do?” I yawned. “We should go somewhere.”He said waving the spatula in the air. “Like where?” I asked. “The mall.” He offered. “Sure.” I said back “I need to get some new cloths anyways.”
He turned around and I had to resist the urge to lean in and kiss him right then. After taking out two plates Jason put eggs and bacon on them. He slid one to me and came and sat on the barstool next to me and began to eat.
I took one bite and I swear it was the best thing I’ve ever tasted because he made it for us. If anyone else had tasted it they would have just tasted like normal bacon and eggs, but they were his bacon and eggs. Believe me there is a big difference.
“Do you want to go by your house and get some cloths?” I asked. “Lia, do you still have that bin of some of my stuff?” He questioned. “Oh I almost forgot about that. If you could help me get that from the closet that would take care of that problem.” I said as I pulled him by the hand to my closet.
When we reached her closet she pulled down the bin. “Thank you” I said. “You can get changed in the bathroom and I’ll get changed in here.” She directed.
I went into the bathroom and changed into my old favorite light wash jeans and the Chargers jersey that I got when I bought two tickets down to California for Lia’s sixteenth birthday. I knocked on the bathroom door and said “Are you ready?”
“Yup” Lia yelled back. I opened the door and saw Lia in a pair of shorts and my favorite shirt of hers, the one I got her in Honolulu. I left the bathroom and headed downstairs, so that she could get ready.
When she finally headed down stairs I grabbed my car keys and led her to my car.
I sat in passenger seat of his car and every once and a while I snuck quick glances of him. To distract myself I turned on the radio and on came both our favorite song, She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5. We were both singing horribly and off key down route 101.
When we arrived at the outdoor mall the sun was shining so perfectly that I could see her freckles that ran over her nose. I wish she would let me hold her and never let go. I eased closer to her. I was close enough to hold her hand. Although I would never do it unless she wanted me to or at least wanted me at all.
She led me into Wet Seal, her favorite store, where she loaded my arms up with a mountain of cloths. The lady looked at me with a look that read just hang in there. I think she could tell that my arms were starting to kill me. It was all for Lia, so I didn’t care.
After Lia rejected over half of the cloths she took off the rack, she came out a fitted pink dress. I swear I was almost drooling she had looked so good. “I like this one.” she sang. “Me too” I told her. I went and walked around a bit, so I wasn’t too tempted to turn romantic.
I sat admiring my dress when one of the ladies who worked there came up to me and said, “Honey I recommend you get that. Your boyfriend couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.” “Oh he’s not my boyfriend. We’re just friends.”I said quickly. “Well the way he was looking at you, honey, that’s not what he had in mind.”She said casually. “You really think so.” I asked. “Let me tell you something, honey. I’ve never seen any boy carry that many cloths for a girl if they’re just friends.” She said strolling to the register. I had a permanent smile painted on my face.
“Jason.” I called across the store. He came over and I said, “I think I’m gonna get this one.” “Cool” he said.
When we were at the register the lady rang up the dress. “Oh no I left my wallet at home.” I said sadly. Before I could say “Come on Jason lets go. I’ll get it later.” Jason had his wallet out and paid for my dress. The same lady from the dressing room gave me a look that said I-told-you.
“Thanks Jason. You know you didn’t have to get that for me.” I told him as we headed for the car.
“Well you really loved it.” I explained. “I loved how it looked on you” I thought to myself.
“We should go out to dinner tonight.” I offered. “Yeah, where should we go? There are tons of places.” I pondered on it for a while before I thought of the perfect place.
“Are you okay with going to Esmeralda’s?” I asked. “Esmeralda’s, Jason that’s super expensive.” Lia said with wide eyes. “Okay than I’ll pay.” I said self-assured “See you at five.” As I pulled out of Lia’s driveway I smiled. The only dress Lia had was the one I bought for her. Esmeralda’s was a formal restaurant.
When I last saw the clock it was 2:39 pm that was before I fell asleep. The dream was so wonderful I couldn’t wake up.
Jason and I were strolling in our favorite park, but instead of walking side by side we were walking with our hands intertwined. I looked over at him and as I did he looked back at me. We started to lean into each other. We had almost touched lips when my alarm clock rang telling me it was 4:30.
OH MY GOSH IT’S 4:30! That means I only have thirty minutes to get ready! I scrambled to curl my hair so that it framed perfectly around my face. I slid on the new pink dress I got and did my makeup. I pushed on my black stilettos. When I came downstairs I heard the doorbell ring.
Opening the door, I saw Lia in that dress and her beautiful round face. I took her by the arm and guided her to the car. After I opened the car door for her we drove down to Esmeralda’s.
We strolled through the door and I walked up to the hostess and said, “Table for two please.” She led us to the table directly under the large shimmering chandelier.
After dinner Jason and I went to our favorite park. As we were walking on the path I asked, “Jason that was an expensive restaurant for just two friends to go to. Why did you decide to go there?” I could tell he was hesitating.
“About that,” I said, “there is something I need to tell you.” I swallowed hard. “I don’t want to be friends. I love you.” It was then I press my lips briskly onto hers. We could have stayed there for ever our lips intertwined not caring about the rest of the world.
I could feel her kissing back. She loved me too. I could tell. Our kiss felt so right. It felt so perfect and full of love. I don’t know how I could have gone so long without tasting her lips, feeling her touch, or telling her I love her. I ran my fingers through her hair. We both had tears running down our cheeks.
Synchronized we both said, “I love you.” That’s the only thing we could both say. Our lips were in control and they made us kiss again. We didn’t object. We were both driven by love. Genuine, true, unbreakable love.