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"Darcy, I'm sorry, but your going to die." I tensed as the doctor gave me the news. My mom was now crying in the corner, and I was shocked. It was silent for a long time, just the sound of my mom sobbing, and Doctor Tanga's hard breathing.
"How?" I finally managed to spit out. It couldn't be really happening. Everything was working out just fine. God wouldn't want me to go now, no way. Not when everything was working, not when I had finally found my true love.
"Your heart is failing." I've known Doctor Tanga for years now. He had always been my doctor, even when I was a child. I could see the sadness in his eyes. I didn't know what to say, what to do, how to feel. I felt fine, like I was perfectly healthy, but I guess things happen for a reason.
"Is there anything...Dr. Tanga, anything, that you can possibly do." My mom held a hand full of tissues to her face. I watched as she ruined her make up, wondering, why I felt the normal. I'm dying, but I feel normal.
"There is one thing, one chance, but it is a very risky procedure," Dr. Tanga paused. "Surgery, but we have no donors."
"I'll donate." My mom spit out. I shot her a quick glance and then I felt the emotions poor out of me.
"No, you will do nothing of the sort. I can't let you die for me, you should know, that isn't how I work." My words were sharp, and painful.
"You don't get it. You're not working, but I am. I can help you. You are everything to me, you have a chance, babe." She was calming down, acting like a hero. When really, she sounded like a mental patient.
"I refuse to take your heart, Mom." I was harsh. Finally it hit me, "When? How long do I have left?" I asked Dr. Tanga, who was still in the room.
"Three weeks, or less." My stomach clenched. I stared at the pictures on the wall, the ones that had always made me laugh when I came to the doctor. A young child with her pants down, getting a shot, and an old women sitting gray-haired on her porch surrounded by her grandchildren. Knowing that I would never be in her position, I felt the tears built up inside me, I was really dying.
"Justin..." I whispered. I was hoping my mother wouldn't hear me, but of course she did. All of her sensed seemed to be on red alert today.
"Ugh, goodness. What do we tell Justin?" It wasn't a surprise, I was thinking the same thing. "What do 'you' want to do, Darcy?" My mom asked me.
"Lets just not tell him," I paused to wipe away my newly flowing tears. "This will destroy him." My mom shook her head.
"You have to tell him, if you don't, I will." I tried to object, but her decision was final. I had to do it, I had to break my true loves heart, with the news that mine was killing me.
"Can you just drop me off at Justin's house?" I asked. I wanted more then anything to spend time with my mother, but I had time, I hoped. "The sooner I tell him, the better I might feel. I need to do this alone." I assured her.
"Sure, babe." My mom rubbed my shoulder and shot a glance at Doctor Tanga. "Can we go?" Mom asked.
"Yes, but I will need to see you bright and early Monday morning for some tests, and I assure you, Darcy, we are going to do our best to find you a donor." I didn't reply. I just shook my head and walked out the door. My mother led me to the waiting area. I watched horrified, while she choked on her words as she was talking to the nurses up front. My mom was a nurse in this hospital, herself.
It seemed like everybody was staring at me, like I was the newest celebrity in town. Everywhere I went, people couldn't take there eyes off of me, it was like they knew.
Mom dropped me off at Justin's, but encouraged me to let her call, Melissa, Justin's mother, to tell her what is going on. I finally agreed, but made her promise not to tell Justin, which she promised.
"Hello." Melissa greeted me at the door. She scanned me carefully with her eyes. Before I knew it, she had pulled me in for a hug. "I haven't told him, like I promised. I'm here for you, and I love you, Darcy." I she told me.
"It means a lot, Melissa." I paused. "I can call you Melissa now, right?" I asked.
"Of course you can. Anything you need, babe?" She asked me.
"I'm good, can I speak to Justin now?" She nodded and motioned to the steps. I had been with Justin for almost three years now, of course, I could go into Justin's room. His mom didn't care. I made my way to Justin's room and stopped as I was about to knock on his bedroom door. I stood there silently for a moment, then just walked in.
"We need to talk, now." I told Justin. He jumped off his bed and turned his off his television.
"Did I do something?" He asked worried. "Babe whatever I did, I'll fix it, don't be mad, I don't even want to imaging losing you." He begged. Tears filled my eyes now.
"No, you didn't do anything, its me." I laughed through my tears. "You know how I went to the doctor today?" I asked.
"Oh, no. Your pregnant?" He asked.
"No, no. I'm not pregnant, but there is something wrong with me, something that probably can't be fixed." I didn't know where I was going with it, but slowing things down was working.
"What's wrong?" he was beyond worried, as should I be. I bit my bottom lip and tried to think of how to respond.
"My heart." I finally chocked out. "Justin, I'm dying. Doctor Tanga told me I have a low chance of living if I have surgery."
"Then have surgery!" He shouted. He was full of anger and sadness. This was the first time I had ever seen him cry.
"It isn't that simple, I need a donor, before I can have the surgery, and there are none. I have no heart to replace mine." He threw the remote across the room. "Don't do this, we don't have much time left, can't we just cherish what we have? Please?" He caught his breath and slowly made his way to me.
"Whatever, It'll never be enough though, but it's enough to have known you." He forced a smile through his tears. He lifted my chin and slowly kissed me. My body was on fire, his touch was electric running through my veins. He was my everything, and I wanted him forever.
"I know what your thinking, and I won't let you do it. I've never asked for anything, but the air I breathe and a place where I feel safe. I'm not letting you save me." He bit his lip.
The rest of my life we curled up in bed, talked, laughed, and spend ever second together, some of the time our parents were with us. Eventually, things started getting worse. My breathing became hard, my heart began racing, and I didn't feel good.
Monday morning, two hours before my appointment, my mother had to rush me to the hospital. Dr. Tanga was waiting for us, because my mother had called him in the car. I wasn't very scared. I mostly cried, thinking of where I would end up. Heaven or Hell? I had sinned, but I hadn't thought of it until now. Would I burn? Would I be an angel of Heaven, and would I be happy? I couldn't see myself in either place, I only seen something powerful, something out of my control.
"Yes, I see." Dr. Tanga whispered to himself. My mother held me like it would be the last time. My mind was running faster and faster. I wished my father was here, would I see him in Heaven? I hoped. Why was this even happening to me? I’m just a child, as many times as I had wished I could be grown up, I take back. I want to live, I want to be free. I want to be free with Justin. I want to be in his arms forever, but luck isn’t on my side.
“We need to get you to the operating room, fast. Lets go.” Dr. Tanga motioned to a nurse, who brought in a wheelchair.
“I can walk.” I protested.
“It’s a standard procedure. We don’t have time, just sit down.” He ordered. I didn’t object. It wasn’t long until I was being rolled into a small room and laid out on an operating table. I tried to relax, but everything was tense. Fear hit me, it finally hit me, I could die, I might now see my mother again, or my friends. Tears filled my eyes, but Dr. Tanga ignored them. He shoved some kind of mask over my mouth and told me to could backward from twenty... I thought to myself, Twenty... Nineteen... Eighteen... Then I think I passed out, i’m not sure.
I slowly opened my eyes, taking in my surrounding I gasped for air. I was alive and surrounded by some of my friends. Taylor, Derek, Jennifer, Tori, Diego, and even Justin’s mother, who was in tears.
“Where’s Justin?” I asked cheerfully. Melissa turned and walked out of the room. Taylor handed me a golden heart shaped locked with a single sheet of paper which read,
I always told you, my heart belongs with you.
Even though I would never be with him, I knew he was always within, he was always looking out for me, and he was always going to be with me, not how I expected, but he would be. I felt my self smile as I brushed the tears from my eyes.