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I woke in a cold sweat and gasping for air.
This would be the seventh consecutive night that Ive had the nightmare. I shouldn't be afraid to fall asleep, but I am. Its a fear that seeps into my soul and freezes me from the inside out. It leeches to the light and snubs out like its poisonous.
Even in the dark of my room triggered the nightmares. My purple silk sheets, dark picture frames and dark colored clothes strewn across the floor, brings the faces back. When I blink, I see them. Screaming, bleeding. Dying.
I'm officially paranoid.
They mean something, I can feel it in my gut. This isn't some random mind game, this has something to do with one of my many deep-seeded issues. I should tell someone. Being afraid to close my eyes, just for a second, should be bad for you.
Watching mythical creatures of all things being murdered a million different ways will give some fancy doctor the wrong impression.
My face fell into my palms as I tried to sort my thoughts, keeping my eyes squeezed shut. I grumbled to myself and tipped my head back, resting it on the wall above my bed. I turned and looked out the window. The world outside looked so peaceful, the sun turning the sky into a kaleidoscope of beautiful colors as it peaked over the horizon. Day break was upon us, once again.
I shuffled into the living room, cringing in the light. The tree outside my window tapped against the glass, politely begging entrance. Its leaves were turning a burgundy and gold color, flowing to the ground with one shove from the wind.
Fall was setting in again and I did not like it. Leaves falling, the air becoming cold and everyday bringing a scent of hot apple cider. But if your me, its brings along a shallow and empty feeling with it.
Padding down the hall, I opened the bathroom door and stepped inside. The pipes squeaked as I turned on the shower.
Rushing water soothed my muscles, relaxing was the one thing that was on my mind and the one thing that I couldn't seem to do. I tried to scrub away the nightmare and my sleepiness.
Steam filled the air and soaked into my pores. Deep breaths.
The feeling the nightmares gave me was like having depression and then having to live with yourself. It was there. You could feel it lingering in the air, waiting for you to snap so it can consume you once again. Tolerable, but not pleasant. It watches your every move, slips back into your thoughts just when you think its gone away.
The water became cold and I stepped out into the warm, steamy air. I dried my hair and raked a comb through it before venturing into my lonely apartment to get dressed.
Passing the spare room, I stopped. An ominous feeling was radiating from inside, as if there was something was in there. But only a few unpacked boxes remained. Something was terribly wrong in there.
I ran. I ran into my room, slammed and locked the door before collapsing into paranoia on my bed.
It was just a dream.
I laid on my bed for at least an hour, trying to find something to do. My mind stretched in a thousand different directions.
Finally, I brought myself to get dressed. Eating was certainly not an option, so I grabbed my bag and coat.
I walked out of the building and into the bustling down town. There has to be something out here that could make me forget about this.
"Come on, Scarlet," I breathed a misty cloud. "Lets go."