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The Stiletto Murder
One fine summer evening, a young snail by the name of Jasper is out on a journey with his best friend, Chadwick, who is a Hummingbird.
They had been entrusted by their parents to go and pick up 20kg of pancakes, from I.H.O.P. (International House Of Pancakes).
They had been planning this trip for a while because they were going to time how long it would take Jasper to reach their destination.
At long last. Jasper finally makes it to the end of his street. 20 hours gone, who knows how long he’ll take to slither 3km to the pancake place.
Chadwick has promised both families, that he won’t eat Jasper.
30 hours later, Jasper meets Chadwick at the end of the main road, where he stops for a rest.
A few very long days later, Jasper and Chadwick arrive at the pancake store, which was in the middle of a substantially large desert.
12 hours later, at the revolving doors, Jasper is sick on Chadwick’s shiny, brand new, $500,000 stilettos. A green slime oozes over the top of Chadwick’s heels.
“You’ve ruined my heels!” Chadwick screeches.“You bloody tw*t!”
“Oh!” Jasper exclaims. “I’m so, so sorry, Chadwick!”
“It’s too late for that now, Jasper,” Chadwick says in a menacing tone.
“Oh, oh!” Jasper squeals.
Passers-by look on in amusement, as Chadwick snatches an apple from the stand outside the store.
“Chadwick!” Jasper gasps, “that piece of fruit is seventeen dollars!” “You can’t take that!”
“Oh, I think I just did.”
Chadwick grasps the apple firmly in both his wings and brings it down hard on top of Jasper’s brittle shell.
Jasper is spattered on the side of the apple. Chadwick licks his lips and tears off a mouthful of Jasper and the apple.