April 15, 2008
By Anonymous

Pain can be hard to deal with. But everyone deals with it at one point in time in their lives. Everyone’s pathetic little lives that really no one cares about. They say they care about you, but really they don’t, they just say that to make you feel better. The person you once thought loved you.. doesn’t give a s--- about you. In my opinion everyone is all about themselves.
Depression and suicide goes hand and hand with pain and suffering. Cutting deeper and deeper each time. Crying just alil, you slice the razor blade deeper, your blood drips all over the floor and you become to be very weak. You try to walk but you cant cause you have lost way to much blood already. And as your mom knocks on your door you stumble to get there and cover up the cuts and act like everything is ok. as you put the sleeve of your jacket back down your arm, you tell your mom to come in…she walks in and asks you some random a-- question, you kindly answer and she walks away and shuts the door.
As you walk to your bed you sit down and start crying. You begin to start talking to yourself, saying that no matter how many times you cut yourself it will never replace the pain you are having inside…mental harm from everyone. When it gets out of control you flip out and want to slit someone’s throat. Maybe even stick a long nice piece of metal in one side of there throat and out the other. After you have stopped crying you get up and go ask for a cigarette. Your mother gives you one and as you walk away you say thank you.
As you walk down the hallway you think of the cut and how bad of a scar it’s going to leave, when you walk through the kitchen you hear the floor creek and all you can think about is the blood dripping on the floor. Finally when you get to the garage you light the cigarette and begin to relax. When all of a sudden your parents start yelling and screaming out of no where over some random stupid bulls---.
You begin to ask yourself “what are they fighting about now?” as you hear their mumbled screams you put the pieces together and find out there fighting about money and how they cant afford things. By the time you are basically done with the cigarette, your mother is yelling at you because she needs to get “frustrations” out. As she is screaming you start to get one of your “o so wonderful” episodes. You try and calm yourself down…but it doesn’t work and you are back in your suicidal mind…you walk past your mom and step father and walk to into the house and then to your room. Once in your room you decide to call any friend that would help refrain from doing what you had done jus twenty minutes ago.
Your best friend doesn’t help and all she can say is don’t do it…so you call another and that’s all they can say….that’s all anyone can say is DON’T DO IT. Honestly people who have never done any harm to themselves don’t know what you are going through. Jus like people who haven’t done drugs, they don’t know what it’s like to feel that high. So you have called everyone you know but still no help so this time you say to yourself in a weird psychopathic way…. I’m done with life… you find a sharp object…you say your final goodbye to your animals in your room. Then you take the knife and slit your throat like you had been talking about for years.

Her mental and physical abuse is what got to her. If it wasn’t for the stress of a romantic relationship and the yelling and screaming of her parents, she would be here still. Every time that she tried to get close to someone…so she could open up and let her feelings out. The person she counted on wasn’t there or she jus couldn’t open up all the way. If she had all those things she would have lived past sixteen

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