Letter To a Madman | Teen Ink

Letter To a Madman

January 13, 2009
By Nathan Thorpe BRONZE, Houston, Texas
Nathan Thorpe BRONZE, Houston, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Dear Anonymous,

You probably already know and understand why I am writing this letter to you. I hate this feeling of being trapped. I hate how every day I am forced to bend to your will, as you bend to others. You don’t like the feeling, and you take your anger out on me. I want to break free from you. I want to run far and fast, faster than flying, so fast that the air doesn’t rush across me, it rips inside me. I want to run where no one can catch me, especially you. There are times when I undeniably hate you, loathe you, and despise you. I cannot kill you, nor harm you, for if I do, I injure myself. The only thing that I can do is outgrow you, outrun you. For now, you run faster than me, but someday I will run faster than light, faster than time, until time has no meaning. But until that day, I thrash and tear with our agony, ever wanting to break free and soar, to finally vanquish everything of you until you cower under me. I long to strike upon you a blow that is not physical, but unbearably mind-writhing, so I could watch you twist and tear apart in the feeling that is my hell. You have an effect on me that is lost for words or wrath or tears. It’s a deathly numbing pain. Numb to all emotion. Numb to fear, sadness, anger, joy, everything. You make me numb to any happiness I have ever felt. I wish I could tear you apart and force you to see what you’re doing to me. It sickens me; I wish I was rid of you. But I cannot lose you, for if I do, I will die. I do not wish to lose you, only what you have become.

You are my mind and my conscience. I can never be rid of you, but one day I will outrun you, a promise I will keep. I will outrun all the negative things, all the bad and forever dark, all of the pain. Until then, I am forced to bend to your will, and I am forced to writhe in agony until, at last, I am free.

Sincerely, hatefully,


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