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A couple of weeks feel like months
A couple of months feel like years.
Time is moving too fast.
Our memories are giving in to a new breath, old news is slipping away.........We're slipping into a new light; or just another shade of darkness.
I'm flying and my mind is gliding with the passing time. I'm flowing with the water, but the tide is pulling me in, too fast. Am I ready to face deeper waters? Will I float or sink? See beauty or a last glance of it? The thoughts make me shiver, and the shivers sink deep into my skin.
This is life; this is moving forward.
I'd always dreamed of wading in the soothing waters. But now I'm right up at the shoreline; and the sea breeze fills my nostrils, the sea licking my feet, encouraging me. This is what I have waited for. The water feels cold. It's a new sensation to my shivering skin.
But as they say in life, you can never fear the act of moving forward.
I can’t turn back; my present will become my past. But now this is more then dreaming. Now my dreams are coming to life. Dreams take all the pain away. But seeing the picture clear into my reality, right now it sends goose bumps up my skin. I blink several times, shaking off this strange sensation. I was always prepared to dream; but I was never ready for that transition, from dream to life. It still feels like a dream. It came too fast, even though before I had always claimed it couldn't come fast enough.
Dreams were gold, and when I was little, I just wanted to reach for a treasure chest full of it. I'd dream, imagine, my mind wandering to my heart's content. The more I thought about it, the more my anticipation grew, and I could just feel it against my palm. That feeling swayed me, but real gold would feel far more luxurious. I grew, and my dreams grew with me. More and more, I wanted to soar in the clouds, and never come back down. I wouldn't mind living in a cloudy universe...........while I lived in cumulus clouds, I fantasized a different world I'd reach when my feet touched the ground, a new life. A treasure full of gold I longed to find. My future enclosed with it. I could never stay stable. Dreams took me away, allowed me to escape, and they let me do whatever I want (unlike my parents). There are absolutely no faults in dreaming. The only downfall was that dreams couldn't come true. They remained just that; dreams. But now I was about to search for gold, my feet planted firmly in the ground, and doubt clouded up my mind.
What if dreams really didn't come true? What if gold felt like copper and the treasure chest sparkled with plastic instead of jewels? My dreams were what kept hope alive. And hope is what kept me going when the sun skipped our town and refused to shine on our family. My dreams were suddenly cut off with a rude awakening; reality. I could taste that fresh new breath, and the gold I had yet to search for. I had always yearned for it though, and I quite frankly believed I deserved it. The future just wouldn't go away. And only when I take that first step will I know it all was more then a dream. Everyone's head is filled with dreams and fantasies. They are all moving forward, and I wish I could be the last one to move with them. Dreams are what pulled me out of my dark state of mind, and I will do anything to save them, but they seem to be falling out of my grasp. A future is waiting. I have to see what it will look like. I have no choice because time never stops. I have to see if my dreams are waiting on another side of my life. I have to take all necessary risks; it's the only way to fulfill myself. But fear is turning a blue sky gray, and is transforming me from lively to dull. Without dreams to take me away, reality could overwhelm me. Who will save me if I drown? How can I convince time to extend itself and leave me be? And if I do, will I ever truly be ready for what lies ahead?
Who do I want to be?
Who am I deep inside?
What kind of life do I want to lead?
What lives can I change?
What is my full potential?
Can I be more then just my dreams? Am I much too dependent on cumulus clouds?
How many people will I save from darkness?
What am I to do when things go wrong?
How can I live life to my fullest?
I am stepping into a whole new part of my life, swimming into deep water without a floaty.
So much is waiting for me.
My dreams told me I'll be alright. I gotta have faith in them, and in myself.
So I suppose I'll slip on my bathing suit. Wade in little by little, my breathing growing slower and deeper, and my heart pounding, and my goose bumps swimming with my skin, as I swim towards my future. The horizon is where I'm headed. The sun is my destination. I don't know what I'll find at the peak of the horizon, but hope tells me the sun might not hesitate to shine on MY face this time.
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