A Letter to SparrowSun | Teen Ink

A Letter to SparrowSun

September 16, 2021
By FirstSteps5000 SILVER, Bethesda, Maryland
FirstSteps5000 SILVER, Bethesda, Maryland
5 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you reach for the stars, you'll just get the stars. Reach for the heavens and you'll get the stars thrown in." - unknown
"These aren't just stories,"... …"They're whole kingdoms. They're worlds. They're perspectives and opinions you can't offer, from lives you haven't lived." - The Isle of the Lost
"When someone does something hurtful, they have to admit it... [t]hen they have to be punished for it. And maybe then, if they apologize and change, maybe -maybe- *then* they get forgiven." - The One and Only Bob


*places fingers on keyboard*

Hi Sparrow. It has been 2 months since I last contacted you. I have no excuses. I hurt you and I'm sorry. I won't say I didn't have internet or that my computer broke down or that padlet stopped working and I forgot TI was our home base. Those would be lies. I'll only say I'm sorry, and hope those words don't ring hollow. I've been a bad friend to you. I'm going to try to explain why, and to give reasons without giving excuses. Maybe you'll find the reasons worthy and maybe you won't. Maybe you won't want to read them at all. I wouldn't blame you. In case that's the case, they will be down at the bottom after I've hit enter a bunch of times so they aren't sprung on you.

I don't know if you'll see this but I hope you do since I know you're still on TI as of Sept. 13th. Whether you want to even talk to me again or not, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't hurt you and that I was a better friend. I'm posting this here to make an apology on the site where we first met and also to make it more formal. As soon as this gets approved it will be on the internet forever. That said, it's completely possible that you won't see this. As a safeguard against that, and since there's no other way to tell if you saw or read this, if there's no comment from you in two weeks I'll say all of this in our padlet in the hopes that you'll see it there. I'll then wait for a reply on either site. If you never reply I won't blame you; you have every right not to. My intention with the two weeks thing isn't to force you to interact with me, just to have a way to know that you read this. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reasons:

Remember when I told you I wouldn't be online as much because I was attending something that lasted a couple weeks? I didn't open up padlet or TI much during those weeks and I got out of the habit of it. It sounds stupid and it honestly is. It's the truth though. But getting out of the habit of it wouldn't have lasted long before I got right back into the habit of it except I struggle very much with procrastination. Normally that just means I have a harder time completing homework but since I've been online I've been procrastinating there too. I procrastinated opening up padlet and TI for over a month. I realize procrastination sounds ludicrous as a reason for ghosting you. The best explanation I can give is through a quote: "[T]here's a second kind of procrastination that happens in situations when there is no deadline... There's also all kinds of important things... that don't involve any deadlines, like seeing your family or exercising and taking care of your health, working on your relationship or getting out of a relationship that isn't working. Now if the procrastinator's only mechanism of doing these hard things is the Panic Monster [a metaphorical monster that represents when a deadline gets too close so your brain kicks into panicked high gear to get what needs to be done, done on time], that's a problem, because in all of these non-deadline situations, the Panic Monster doesn't show up. He has nothing to wake up for, so the effects of procrastination, they're not contained; they just extend outward forever." - Tim Urban, "Inside the mind of a master procrastinator"

Finally, for the past couple weeks I was scared to reach out because I hadn't for so long. I felt caught in a sort of limbo - it had been too long already but if I waited it would only be worse. But then I kept waiting and the limbo kept going. There it is. Those are the reasons. Crappy though they may be, they're the only ones I've got. I'm sorry for hurting you. I sincerely mean that. 

If you read to the end of this it probably brought up a lot of painful feelings. I know I'm the reason for all of them, so to say thank you for reading this I found pictures of corgis:
i.pinimg.com/736x/83/18/92/831892915d16e521bac47d17153ede10.jpg

thesprucepets.com/thmb/Rehivhz33F762qy7sAQkjV21hUk=/450x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/40926432_560505141051912_3896594467564281999_n-5ba052bac9e77c0050e669bb.jpg

wallpaperaccess.com/full/1154655.jpg

mypetsname.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Cute-Corgi-Dog.jpg


The author's comments:

This is meant for SparrowSun to read, but here's a message to anyone who's reading this and is not her:

Always try to make right your mistakes, even if you act really badly over an extended period of time. You won't always be able to make up for what you've done but it's worth it to try.


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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 5 comments.


on Oct. 10 at 4:04 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
193 articles 22 photos 1016 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]

i saw that ted talk
youre safe and my crazy imagination is put to rest, its all good.

on Oct. 10 at 1:49 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
193 articles 22 photos 1016 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]

i rebookmarked padlet.
you really arent dead?

on Oct. 10 at 1:40 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
193 articles 22 photos 1016 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]

i procrastinate my stories all the time(often to the point of just never doing them)

on Oct. 10 at 1:19 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
193 articles 22 photos 1016 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]

im so sorry i didnt spot this earlier, you must have completly siked yourself out(i do that all the time and almost puke).
youre alive!!!!

on Oct. 10 at 1:17 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
193 articles 22 photos 1016 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]

are you kidding??? im not mad i was legit convinced you were dead and you arent!