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“hey” Your simple, unexpressive greeting fills me with excitement as I eagerly flip my phone open to text back. I decide to go for a casual, non-creepy reply, something that doesn't scream “I like you!” A cool, collected response. I pause, thinking, and then come up with the perfect reply.
But, oh … did I text back too fast? I have to wait a full ten minutes for your, I'm sure, very sincere and truly curious answer.
Your lack of capitalization and punctuation annoys me, but no matter! I decide not to look like a desperate Grammar Nazi, and so wait a few extra minutes before responding, acronym-style.
There! This says “I don't care about you, and I have better things to be doing than talking to you! And I'm also totally not studying for my English exam, because that would be lame.”
Your long-awaited reply lights up my screen. Oh, how my heart is set aflutter by your verbal deficiencies! No, it really is.
Sarcastic, but not too. Yes, I am witty. Now do something that matters, like admit how beautiful I am or confess your undying love ….
Well, that was disappointing, I think, as your reply buzzes in my hand. Now, though, is the biggest conundrum; whether to reply with some sort of farewell, or to leave you hanging. I decide to go with a short and sweet dismissal.
The next day at school, you're holding hands with a girl I know.
“We aren't dating,” she tells me later in the confidence of a nearly empty locker room. “Yet,” she adds with a coy smile.
My heart is ripped out of my chest and stomped on by your gray and black Vans as I say, “Oh, cool!” and grin halfheartedly. Her “yet” nags at my brain for hours. You texted me. You were the one who made me fall in love with you. And now, this – her? What about us? There was going to be an us!
Hours later. The clock shines its fluorescent red numbers at me across the top of my desk – 10:31. My eyelids droop and I am nearly asleep when …
Bzzzzzz. My phone vibrates. I grab it and flip it open, my empty chest numb.
My chest is neither empty nor numb now, because it throbs. I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to think of a response that will express my feelings about you.
Finally, it comes to me; something that speaks of all my hurt and betrayal, all my jealousy and heartbreak, all my unrequited love.