Rising Again | Teen Ink

Rising Again

September 23, 2015
By Honeysuckle55 GOLD, Littleton, Colorado
Honeysuckle55 GOLD, Littleton, Colorado
17 articles 0 photos 3 comments

I am a fierce competitor. I compete in everything, it's what I do. If we're playing a game you want to be on my team, not cause we'll win necessarily but cause I will treat you like the enemy if you're not. I play hard, and I try to get better and play harder every time. I strive for perfection. Thing is in my sport, gymnstics, you compete against yourself. It makes things a little harder. With no team to go against I turn against myself and I push myself harder and harder and make myself do the same skill over and over and over striving for perfection. I sweat away my anger at myself as I do my tumbling passes again and I grit my teeth as my hands start to bleed on the bar but I keep pushing on. I keep going. I won't stop, I can't stop. If I did I wouldn't let myself forget it. If I had a competition and I'd messed up a skill I make myself focus and perfect that skill for the entire practice so I can do it in competition. I beat myself up in practice just so I can get a couple more tenths of a point. However, there's a flaw to my madness. While I am perfect at the practice I stink at the competition. I'll get upon a beam in front of two judges, my team, and the audience and my mind freaks. I'll lose my focus for half a second and I've fallen on my jumps. I can do my jumps in my sleep and yet here I am on the floor when I should still be up there finishing my routine. After my fall though I still have to get back up, but then my mind can only focus on the fact that I've already fallen and now I find myself again and again falling to the cold, hard ground because I can't get defeat out of my head. And with each fall a piece of me screams and cries and wonders why after how hard I've worked I can't get this skill. I let it get to me. I beat myself up over a fall. But what I need to realise is that it's not worth it. I beat myself up on not being perfect and that is not worth it. Do I like crying after a routine? Do I like admitting defeat to the beam? NO! Then why should I. Just cause I had a fall, I can still get back up on the beam. I can still show them that i know what I'm doing. That I can do this stuff in my sleep cause I've practiced it so many times. I can do hard things and I can do this hard thing. I am tough and even when I fall it's making me stronger. It's ok to fall as long as you get back up and don't let it get to you. I've done my routines and skills so many times, I know them by heart. I can and I will get back up and I won't let myself be knocked down by a mistake but instead I will rise from ashes and finish with pride not with a face of failure.

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