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Author's note: I love horses. They inspire me to think like a horse so i can write about them!
I was born on a cold, dark, and stormy night. I know....it’s just like all the other boring tales right? Well mine is different! It was cold, very cold, and it was dark and stormy! But unlike the others i was born at 5:00 A.M. and in the mean time the sun was about to rise! But when i was all ready getting ready to get up, the sun rose, but then a lunar eclipse blocked out the sun. And well you don’t need to know the rest......or do you?
I was separated from my mother when i was bearly a month old. When they took her away i never saw her again until one day when i was sent to my first horse behavior class i saw her in the meadows. She was a beauty! Astonishing dark locks of hair were made to be her mane and her tail was a silvery-blue black shade, but her coat was what amazed everyone, her glimmering body was a beautiful obsidian color that caught the morning light and made it look as if it was shimmering under the morning sky. I knew that she was my mother for when i first saw her when i was born i remember her telling me “Chase....that’s your name Chase. Remember that i am your mother.....your mother is the most beautiful horse on the farm....remember that, and you shall always see me.” She had told me when she had been helping me get up. I was still sad that they had taken her away, but i knew it was for the better.After that i never saw her in the meadows, the arena, the stables, or even being ridden! Something happened to her and the other horses wouldn’t tell me! They all seemed sad when i brought her up,and all of them wouldn’t even tell me even a little secret about her! They would just mumble this silly little rhyme and continue eating:
May she be
And may God
Watch her soul.
They wouldn’t even tell me what it meant! Sometimes i got real frustrated and just spit water in their ashen-looking faces.
When they did tell me what had happened i had wished i wasn’t so stubborn and had never insisted because what had happened was that my mother had gone to horse heaven and was never going to come back. Yes, that’s right! She died! It was hard on me too! But then i remember the way she treated me and forgot all about her. I had no family and i never will have one because from the rumors i heard, my father died 5 months before i was even born! So how am i suppose to live? How am i suppose to survive without my parents? Ask yourself! I want an answer! Huh! Silly me! You wouldn’t know! Your just a human! You humans don’t understand us horses because you think we’re just.....horses! But if you think your better than us then i challenge you to go through my story and i challenge you to think like a horse would!!! So......Are you up for it?
Wow! That happened over a year ago and i remember it as if it happened a couple seconds ago! After that i got very restless and untamed. My so called ‘owner’ sold me to a wild horse center and there i live on in that filthy, flee-bitten cage with all the other poor untamed but gentle horses. I don’t know why i’m here but rest assure i know where i belong whether or not they think i know.
Well not five days passed before i was sold to this million-aire who buys show horses. He must of thought that i was special because when he came to the wild horse center and saw me he immediately came over and said to the caretaker that he would buy me for two-hundred thousand dollars cash! Wow! I was surprised too! Then after that he sent for one of his horse trailers and stuffed me in there with two other horses. After that it was a blur.
3 YEARS LATER
I was awoken by a flashback from the past. I was a foal and everywhere i looked i saw a beautiful mare prancing about. I thought she looked familiar but my memories betrayed me and would not help me comprehend her identity. I snorted in my bowl of horse feed and waited until morning awoke the stable boy.
It had been many years ago that i had gone through such actions, when i was just a year old foal. But now that Mr.Albertson adopted me from that center, he has changed me and changed who i am. I don’t even remember what my mother named me...Was it Chaos? Charlie? Caspion? Well i know it was something close to those names. The real point is that now i am a new horse and a better horse than i was before.
After Mr.Albertson adopted me he named me Eli, and after that he trained me and pestered me until i showed him what i had preserved deep inside me. He took what i had hidden and turned me into a pure bred horse (even though i already was). He entered me into competitions and races and in everyone i always won. He was especially impressed when i beat one of the world’s fastest horses in one race and when i won one race after the other. And so he made me one of his best ‘pets’, as his other horses called it, and treated me with great respect.
It was going swell with the past competitions until that one dressage competition when a mare dared to appear at the corner of the field. She had me stumped and i was willing to do anything in my will to impress her. So you probably have an idea of what i intended to do. Yes, that’s what i did! I threw my rider to the ground by rearing in front of my 10th jump and rushed as fast as i could toward the mare.
Well, it didn’t turn as well as i thought because it turned out that mare was competing too and the rule book said two horses competing in the same competitions could not mate. So... guess what?.....I got disqualified! And so after that apparent accident my owner whipped me and broke me until i learned that when at a competition i was not suppose to be crazed at the sight of a mare. Yip! I got the hard way of learning that lesson! But that wasn’t as bad as what he did next!
About two days later he contacted someone to buy me from him. He came up to my stall and said i no longer was his and that i shouldn’t feel too at home from now on because someone was going to buy me sooner or later!
Today was the final day that he had me cooped up in his barn. Yes, that’s right! They were going to take me away today. I had heard as part of one of the horses’ rumors that the man who had bought me had a whole collection of horses in England that he had sold, so now he was looking for champion horses to breed at his farm. They told me his name was Jeffrey and that he had three sons and a daughter whom loved horses. So i wasn’t as worried as i should have been. Soon i was to have a new home with a nice loving family! I hoped.
When the man finally arrived he brought with him a tall, skinny boy who was very distinct in his own ways. I later learned that his name was Nicholas and that he was the man’s son! I wondered if he was going to be my friend, but when i saw his face of depression in those bright, green eyes of his i thought that maybe a friend for his own would help him relieve his pain.
I couldn’t help but stare at the boy. He was so different than any boy i had ever seen! In his appearance as much as how he acted! He had, as i mentioned earlier, bright green eyes you could just melt into, jet black hair so dark that i could bet if you lost a pin in there you were likely not able to find it with the naked eye! He had smooth but tight features and he had a stubble on his chin trying to grow. I assumed he was 14 for his voice had gone through it’s change and he acted like any normal teenager. But the way he carried himself is what surprised me!
He would walk around with all the pride in the world and act as if he had not a care in the world all the while being loose and fun. I started liking him as he showed what good humor he had and how stress-free he was, but something sad and deep stayed in his eyes as he laughed his nieve way around his father to go explore the stable grounds. As he was far away from his father i saw his expression change and his face turn gloomy and depressed like the face i saw on him the minute he stepped out of his dad’s truck. He made something strange inside me leap out and press me to go after him. I think i felt pity.
He moved close to the meadow i was in so i just stalked him from my grazing spot. He was too young to be so depressed and sad that i wondered if something had happened to him during his childhood. I was on the verge of another thought when i saw him walking around the barn and decided to follow him, but, of course, i was fenced in so when i thought no one was looking i trotted to the middle of the meadow and gave myself a little room before running at full speed and jumping over the fence. I landed with a soft thump and didn’t attract anyone’s attention. So, i followed where the boy had gone and regretted being so stubborn because what i found was not very entertaining!
The boy was curled up in a corner of the barn’s hay supply. He showed no sign of wanting to move or of breathing. I got worried and decided to give him a little push until i heard the soft whimpering coming from him. He was crying! Now i was super worried so i got closer and gently nudged his shoulder until he was facing me with his tear stained face. He didn’t seem surprised when he saw a horse like me hovering over him while he was crying. He seemed happy and excited when i let him hold my head and wrap his arms around my neck. One thing’s for sure, he never stopped crying!
After he calmed down he whispered in my ear,“I knew you were here! I just knew my Obsidian was here! That’s why father has come to take you home again, Obsidian! I’m sorry for lying to you! I never should have let father sell you along with those other horses! I’m so so so sorry! Well you ever forgive me Obsidian?” He whispered as he straightened up and led me by my halter.
My name was Eli not Obsidian! Who was he talking about? I don’t know him and he bearly knows me! I think this boy is a little wired in the brain don’t you? I mean he is nice, but i don’t even know him and he keeps calling me this strange name: Obsidian! Who is he and why does he think he knows me?
As he led me towards his father and Mr.Albertson i felt a sudden pang of sorrow for him that came out of me without a reason. When we stood in front of the two men Nicholas said he wished to by back Obsidian.
“Who are you talking about boy? This here is Eli! He’s one of my new foals! He’s only 4 and a half, he is! Don’t you dare worry about buying him! He’s already yours, you fool!” Spatted Mr.Albertson.
“What? It can’t be! But he looks just like Obsidian! Right father?” Nicholas demanded.
“Yes, son he does but i doubt this is where Obsidian lives. I sold him to someone near England, although they’ve failed to respond my calls.” Said Jeffrey.
Nicholas looked taken aback for a moment then he looked at me with a tear in his eye and said a muffled “sorry” and handed the reins to his father, whom led me to his trailer. Then Jeffrey asked Mr.Albertson who was my dam and sire and Mr.Albertson went back to his mansion to get my birth documents ready. When he came back he handed them to Jeffrey and assured him that he’d find all the answers there. Then after that i was off to my new home all the way in England.
When i got to my new home out in the fields of England, the first thing they did with me was take me for a ride. Well, i shouldn’t say 'they' but instead Nicholas because he was the one that ordered his stable boy to go fetch the tack and his riding helmet. So when the boy came back Nicholas swung himself high into the saddle and began to guide me to a nearby trail. That’s when i learned something from him that i didn’t think was funny.
When we had reached a medium sized pond that ended the trail Nicholas hopped off the saddle and led me to the edge of the small pond. Then he let go of my reins and just plumeted down on the flat, long grass growing on the edge of the pond. There he started talking to himself while skipping rocks on the water. Once he finished what he was blabbering he looked at me with his red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks and said something i quite didn’t understand until he yelled it at the sky:
“Why was it me......Why did he leave.....Why was it me!! Why did he leave!!” Nicholas screamed until he was sore in his throat and he saw me shiver.
I didn’t know what he meant by that, but i knew it was something having to do with me. Whatever it was had awaken the beast inside Nicholas and made him somber once more. I wondered what had made him so disturbed, he was such an inoccent boy who had no right to be stressed in his years of teenagerhood. Whatever it was, i was going to find out.
When Nicholas had overcome his imense sadness he held his head high and sang a quiet tune i did not reconize but the song was sad itself to see that he meant to morn:
Why did it have to be you...
Why did you leave me here alone...
If it could’ve been me
You would live on happily!
Knowing that you were still here
would be fine...But
Since your not here....
Why did you go?
Why did you go...
......Why did you go......
To tell you the truth the boy had talent, he could sing! But well no matter whether or not he sung well his song made me shiver in sadness and fear. Something about the way he paused in between his words made me feel as if someone he loved had died.....someone he loved. Someone he loved! That’s it! No wonder he morns so much (he should be called Mr.Weeps-alot) he loved someone and now they’re gone!
It made sense! After he sung his dreadful song he climbed back on my saddle and he drived me through the pond until we were on the other end. Once i got out of the warm, clear water he talked to himself through the whole trail. I would sometimes hear some of his words when he spoke them more harshly than he intended, words like : Angry, my fault, gone, regret, stupid, good horse, and death. I wondered what he was saying but the cursed wind and russling of leaves forbade his words from reaching my ears.
When we circled around the trail and back to his house i caught a glimpse of Nicholas out of the corner of my eye. He was standing tall and straight in my saddle without a tear in his eye, his face was erased of any emotion he felt before and his jaw was set at a tight angle that told you he didn’t want to be disturbed. His features scared me. He was like a whole different person trying to hide his feelings. Poor Nicholas, if only he told me what was wrong!
After that astonishing evidence that i had discovered about Nicholas, he never seemed the same. He seemed really happy when his father allowed him to ride me for the competitions i was signed up for, but when ever he saw another horse of my breed he would stare off in their direction and when 10 seconds passed he would heave a deep sigh of disappointment. He would then climb into my saddle and continue our usual weekly race or dressage competition. He was especially sad when i won them all....and that’s kind of weird to see because aren’t you suppose to be happy when your horse wins? Humans confuse me!
Today was the day for my record breaking dressage competition and i was nervous! Nicholas didn’t help my mood for he was sad as usual. When he led me to my waiting stall he whispered that this was my big day and i shouldn’t be nervous but boy was i nervous! When he came back a couple of minutes later with his riding suit on and my new freshly polished saddle under his arm i felt a slight shot of adrenaline pass through my veins. I loved competing! And i wasn’t going to let some un-talented horses get in my way!
When the announcer announced that we were up Nicholas tacked me up and scrambled onto my saddle and a stable boy led us into the arena where we competed like we were born to! I showed th judges why i should be named top horse out of ever show horse out there. When we were getting ready to perform our final move my breath got rigged and my pace slowed. I felt dizzy in so many ways i wanted to puke! I felt as if i was swaying to my right then the left and then i blacked out!
When i regained conciousness i felt as if my heart was being torn apart, and my life severed for i felt like i was dying as a matter of fact! What happened to me in that arena i did not know, but i did know it had something to do with me. When the stable boy saw me awake he quickly ran towards the medical wing and brought back with him a nurse, a doctor, and Nicholas and his father. They inspected me and poked three large needles into me and sucked out blood, (which felt kind of tingly but it still hurt!) then the doctor finally announced that i had a sever heart problem and said something else i could not hear for they whispered it in Nicholas’ and his dad’s ears. I feared something just then, that they were talking about my death. I could’ve been wrong but then again i could’ve been right!
When the exam finished and both the vet and the nurse left, i saw a tear building up in Nicholas’ eye. He then looked at his father and i noticed he too was crying. My fear had just come true. Was it true that i was dying? Or are my eyes tricking me again? What fate do i have next?
After they took me home i figured they would just let me rest and then everything could go back to normal. I was wrong. They stuffed me into a clean stable and immediatly went to work at brushing my mane and coat. Once they were finished they cleaned out my stall (even though it already was clean) and fixed a warm blanket around my shoulders. After that they left me alone for the rest of the night and when morning came they took me out for a nice joy ride! Something was amiss though because Nicholas seemed happy and the way his eyes sparkled made me truly believe he was!
Even Nicholas’ dad joined us with his new chesnut-cream coated appaloosa. We rode until i was sore and Nicholas had to lead me back home. They were hiding something form me that i wanted to discover. When Nicholas had led me to my clean stall he ushered me in and then layed his hands over the top of the door and just leaned there like he had not a care in the world. Then he told me a secret that i had wanted to know for so long but felt as if i shouldn’t have known it for it was about my health.
“Eli, you are a wonderful horse! And i bet your father.... Obsidian....would be proud! Although i fear you have naught but a couple months left before....before...you.....die.” He whispered the last word for fear i would hear it, but i heard it loud and clear. So it was true....i was dying! My complex set of emotions forbade me to shed a tear for i was a horse and horses are strong. Yet inside i was making a river of tears. How could i be dying? I wasn’t even a full grown horse yet! Out of all the emotions i could’ve been feeling the only one that beat them all was anger! Anger for wasting my life on nothing but stupid competitions, anger for being so unloved because even my parents left me, and anger for dying. I couldn’t die now......could i?
After Nicholas left me alone (with a tear in his eye) i couldn’t stand but be left alone so i neighed until all the other horses knew i was dying. I felt sad afterward, though ,i knew i should have been happy i was leaving this wrong-doing place. My emotions were stirred and i wasn’t sure what i was feeling now. I poked my head out of my stall and looked out over toward the door. I waited until a stable boy came and then i shook my head up and down to get his attention. Once his eyes were erected on me i reared and stabbed my hooves in the stall door to try to get it open and once the boy understood i wanted to get out he calmed me down and led me out of my stall and towards the pasture. I was happy someone understood me.
Once i was all settled in the meadow i ran as fast as i could around the perimeter of the meadow until i couldn’t run anymore. Then i trotted to the water trough and slurped up a gallon of the luxurious, fresh, and clean spring water. I gazed around my surroundings and snorted when i couldn’t find any other horses in the meadow. I walked around, then jumped and played around one of the practice jumps that were used for practice. I breathed in deeply and the pain shot straight through my heart. I could feel every second of the ever lasting, cold and penetrating pain coursing through my blood and eventually ending up at the center of my heart. I wished i could die so i wouldn’t have to endure this everlasting pain go through me.
After i got tired of trotting through the meadows i nieghed and reared until i brought the attention of a stable boy towards me. He then led me towards my stall where i ate and rested. When i saw my feed in my feeding bucket i looked at it with disgust. Disgust.........i actually thought it was disgusting?! Something was indeed wrong with me for food was the only thing i could think of when i was hungry.
In the morning when the stable boy saw i had not eaten my food he went towards the mansion and a couple minutes later came back with Jeffrey, his wife, and Nicholas whom looked more somber than usual. They looked at me from head to toe and with a tilt of their heads called the horse vet. A couple of hours passed and three vets appeared at my stall door. They then took blood samples and checked my heart. I looked at one of their faces and saw a kind of pity in there that i did not expect to see in a vet at all. The look scared me for it was a look of loss.
When they had finished i heard the lead vet whisper in Jeffrey’s ear : “Only.......few.....days....sorry......so sorry...”, I knew what this meant. I was truly going to die and it wouldn’t take long either. What i didn’t get, though, is why me? Why did I have to die?
When the sun shone to mark the new of a day i saw a white glow off to the side of the sun. There i heard the whinny of a mare and instinctively knew she was my mother. My dear sweet mother was calling me. She whispered a name so unidentified i had a hard time remembering that it was mine.
“Chase”, She said, “Come with me and you shall live eternal happiness!”
I considered the offer with my full dying heart and saw how her words were filled with the youth and truth only God could give. I strengthened my emotions and with a soft snort told her i would be pleased to join her. She neighed softly and i saw the white glow, glow even brighter. Then i saw her beautiful outline of that majestic head of a Friesian. She motioned for me to follow and follow i did.
I felt the glow come closer and the light shine even brighter and before i knew it i felt like i was falling into a dream i would never wake up from. I felt my body give underneath me and knew i would never return to gallop freely in the meadows anymore. I somehow knew all that and with the patience of the world accepted everything death offered. I felt worry free and like i was nothing but a lost memory i would give to a new brain. The feeling of feeling nothing felt like......nothing.
Yet i was still alive and i was still in my body. I breathed and could feel the morning breath float off through the air. I felt tired and so i closed my eyes and never opened them again.