Poisoned | Teen Ink


January 2, 2011
By ObscureBeauty, Victoria, Other
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ObscureBeauty, Victoria, Other
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Thunder rumbled over head, the day was dark and gloomy. I wasn't even sure what time of day it was, being up for hours and hours on end, my brain told me that it was middle of the afternoon, but I was sure that it wasn't.
Rain fell from the sky, huge drops almost the size of my fingernails pelted everything, and within moments I was soaked to the bone.
The rain hid the tears falling onto my cheeks as I stood there, hating myself.
There was something inside me, something dangerous. And it always came out when I didn't expect it.
It's gotten to the point where I don't even know if I'm myself, or if I'm the Poison. That's what I call it; the poison. It seeps out of my skin and affects those around me.
I was poisoned. And I felt hopeless.
I stood there, in the field at the edge of the forest. Something was calling me into the dark forest, something unnerving. I turned my back to the forest and stared across the field. I thought I saw something, a human figure. It stood there, against the dark. The figure wasn't shadowy like a silhouette, but bright, almost glowing. It scared me. I took a hesitant step forwards, wanting to go towards it, something wanted me to go there, it was pulling me, I could feel it. But I stopped half way through and took two steps back. I couldn't do it.
I couldn't go towards whatever...whoever that was.
With a hefty sigh, one that shook my entire being, I closed my eyes, wiped my face with my sleeve and turned around, disappearing into the black forest.

I loathed myself with every once of morality I had inside myself. I wasn't even sure why I was doing this, but I was, and I couldn't stop. I couldn't go back. There wasn't any other chance. I trudged through the ferns and moss, my jeans becoming more soaked then before. The foliage pulled at my hair, my clothes, my insanity. I tripped over a fallen branch and landed hard on the ground. Pain shot up through my arms as I used them to brace myself. I let out a small cry and lifted my body up a bit, looking at my palms. They were covered in mud, small traces of blood could be seen, and I wiped them against my jeans and look again. Sure enough, I'd landed on a prickle bush, that's what the pain was from. Scarlet drops dotted my palms and I bit my lip, fighting against the tears. I was so close to giving up, but I gritted my teeth and pushed up off the ground. I stabled myself and started up again, watching where I put my feet.

My body shivered and I was getting tired. The darkness was almost unbearable, I could barely see anything. I wiped my eyes some more, and pushed my damp hair out of my face. I started to talk to myself, trying to overcome the loneliness.
I don't even know what I was saying, but the sound of my own voice was reassuring, as much as I hated it. I trudged on, my legs getting tired and sore. The rain slowly died down, and all that was around me was silence, with the occasional thunderclap. Lightning streaked across the sky, startling me. I let out a scream and I jump on spot. My heart felt like it was leaping out of my mouth, and I leaned against a tall cedar. My pulse was racing, as I looked around. The lightning had illuminated where I was, and it looked like something was following me.
Instantly I thought the worse, what could it be? It looked like an animal. Maybe a bear... Maybe a wolf. I steadied my breathing and listened, hearing something move through the bushes. The forest was too quiet, and I became alert to everything around me. The rough bark against my back, the wet clothes clinging to my frozen body, the water dripping off of my hair. I shivered violently and bit my lip, listening some more.
Lightning illuminated my area again, and I saw it clearly. It was a wolf. A large black and silver thing and it was watching me. It was huge, almost the size of a bear, with black fur streaked with silver and hints of brown. I shivered as I looked at it's eyes. Instead of the familiar yellow wolf eyes, I locked gazes with icy blue ones. I closed my eyes in a slow blink, and when I opened them again, it was gone. Lightning flashed again and the wolf was gone.
I was probably seeing things; me being in my state of mind. My skin prickled and I felt the poison growing close. I started to speak to myself, telling it to stop. It didn't, and an animalistic snarl ripped through my throat. I shook my head and it ended in a cough. I slumped down against the cedar and wrapped my arms around my knees. I buried my face into my arms and took in a shaky breath, trying to calm my nerves.

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