How to Cook Annoyance | Teen Ink

How to Cook Annoyance

November 13, 2018
By Anonymous

Level: Very Easy 
Yield: Like around 5 people 
Prep Time: 60 seconds 
Total Time: Good Solid 5 minutes 
- 1 school hallway 
- 4-5 tbsp. of people 
- 100 lbs. of backpacks 
- 1 cup of useless conversations 
- 8-10 tsp. of feet that are not moving  
- 100,000 oz. of some kind of gorilla glue that gets them to not move 
- 0 pinch of seasoning 
1. In a small hallway, gather together a group of friends, girls and boys. Suggested amount is around 4-5 people. Make sure that add in about 8-10 tsp. of feet that are not able to move. At all. Make sure to cover the entire hallway. 
2. To make them annoying as possible, add everyone in a cluster in the small hallway. Then mix in 1 cup of pointless and useless conversations to the mixture. It can be about how boring class was or what they’re doing later. Season with nothing because the conversation’s boring. 
3. Don’t forget to dress the people with 100,00 ounces of gorilla glue to ensure that they won’t leave the hallway and serve.  

Level: Super Easy 
Yield: 10 kids who are around the ages of 13 or 14 
Prep Time: Honestly, 10 years 
Total Time: 20 years 
- 10 teenagers who are around the ages of 13 or 14 
- 2 crumpled and wet bills 
- 10,000 quarters 
- 2 cups of useless conversations about what movie to watch or can because most of them are underage 
- 10 teaspoons of annoyance 
- 1 stolen tub of popcorn  
1. First, gather your ingredients and place it inside of a movie theater on a Friday night. Add 2 cups of useless conversations and chatter since the ten kids cannot decide what moviethey should watch. Stir in 10 teaspoons of annoyance to spice it up! 
2. Throw in a five-dollar bill because one kid can’t afford a movie ticket. Don’t forget to add 10,000 quarters because there is always that one kid who saves up their quarters in a piggy bank and brings it all to one place! Throw in a tub of popcorn some kid stole because he ran out of quarters to your mixture. Mix everything together in a bowl and serve. 
Level: Truly Difficult  
Yield: Around 2-3 servings 
Prep Time: 2 seconds to get upset 
Total Time: Good solid 30 minutes of complaining 
- 2 middle age couple who are here to watch the movies 
- $200 worth of disgusting crap 
- 1 cup of surprise  
- A big fat gallon of “Can I speak to your manager?” 
- 5,000 cups of complaining 
- 1 crossed arm  
- 3,000,000 pounds of foot taps 
1. In the most gigantic bowl you have in your cabinets, add in your main ingredient. First throw in two middle-age couple that are picky and stuck-up, who are here to see Mama Mia 2, again, for the 100th time. Make sure to give them a ton of garbage food that is almost worth $200. 
2. Measure out 1 cup of surprised and annoyance and throw it to the mixture. Next, you’ll want to measure out a big fat gallon of “Can I speak to your manager?” Then again, you’ll want to measure out 5,000 cups of complaining to the employee and manager. 
3. Pour out the mixture into a baking pan and heat it up for ten years. After baking, take it out of the oven and top it off with 1 crossed arm and 3,000,000 pounds of grated foot taps. Serve.  

The author's comments:

This is a mock genre piece where I took my pet peeves and incorporated into recipes. 

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