inner most thoughts | Teen Ink

inner most thoughts

January 12, 2010
By ladytrojan GOLD, Millington, Tennessee
ladytrojan GOLD, Millington, Tennessee
12 articles 0 photos 25 comments

<3 I go over our conversations thousands of times in my head. I’ve never felt this way before. A part of me is scared, but… another part of me is kinda excited. This is new for me. You know, being in love. I feel kinda silly, being so head over heels for this guy, but I still have a shield because what if he doesn’t feel the same.?. I hate feeling vulnerable, but I guess that’s what love’s all about. I imagine that if he didn’t feel the same as me, I wouldn’t be able to talk or look at him again. It would hurt too badly. I imagine that I would feel sick to my stomach all the time, like I have morning sickness, or feel as if I have a whole in my chest, or feel like I couldn’t breathe. This is stupid. Some guy shouldn’t determine my happiness. Yet, if we don’t talk for three days or more, I’m kinda depressed. But, when we talk for a while, maybe like an hour, it can keep me happy for days. Ha. He made a Youtube layout for me that had a daisy on it and so, now daisies are my favorite flowers. I no. It’s pathetic, but at least my favorite color isn’t the color of his eyes. Lol. (That’s for all my Twilight fans). But, he does know my favorite color. For that matter, he knows “my favorite” everything. I know some of his favorite things, but not a lot because I don’t have a good memory. Some of the things I’ve said might have been a little cliché. But trust me, my love is not a cliché love. I don’t get butterflies every time I talk to him, or get weak in my knees. I can live without him. It might not be too much of a happy life, but I’d get over him. I’m not ugly. He’s not the first or last guy in my life. I’ll make it. (I’m trying to convince myself). Though, I think bout him all the time, and whenever I think about my future I think about him. I want to travel the world and do lots of research. I want him to be there with me. Later, I want to have twins, a girl and a boy, and I always see him as their father. I think he’d be a great dad. He’d be a great husband too. Uuuggghhh!!! I hate myself for thinking about this. He probably only likes me as a friend. He’ll probably fall in love with a girl who deserves him. He’s too good for me. I still can’t help thinking we belong together. No, he doesn’t complete m, or any of that B.S.. I just like him… a lot. <3

The author's comments:
um... sorry. this one is kinda all over the place. please don't pay attention to the bad grammar, it's supposed to be that way. thanks for reading.

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