The Monster | Teen Ink

The Monster

October 24, 2018
By DJAlyss GOLD, El,paso, Texas
DJAlyss GOLD, El,paso, Texas
11 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Practice doesn't make perfect,
Practice makes Permanent

He keeps me
tells me not to love
not to trust

only to fear
he keeps me in the darkness
never to see light
or feel happiness
only darkness and fear
the monster holds me here
eating away at what’s left
what’s left of my soul
my heart
my self-esteem 
he keeps me promising
promising to never let go of me
never to let me go of his grasps
the monster hurts
I feel only pain
And no one understands
no one understands what he does to me
how he makes me feel
no one listens when I try to tell them
instead they help him
they help him hurt me 
until eternity
until it ends
when he dies 
I will go with him
because he is me
he’s depression

He comes for me 
just to hurt me
to deeper bury me
to bury my soul
my heart
my life
myself as a whole
but if I hurt him
I’m only hurting me
because he is me
I’m the monster

maybe if people listened
maybe he would leave
maybe people they
might listen
might destroy him
and this time I won’t go with him
I’ll leave him
to feel the darkness
the pain
the monster
what he made me feel
and maybe he won’t come back
not even at the end of eternity
not ever
he won’t come back and get me 
he won’t keep his promises of unhappiness
and sorrow
he won’t come back
but people don’t listen
they don’t care
they don’t help
they only mock
and cause more pain
and more anguish 
and more darkness
the monster
it’s me

no one understands

no one gets me
the monster I am

No one gets me because I’m nothing but trouble
they don’t bother to ask how I feel once in a while. 
they don’t get me and never will
I wish he would leave me 

I don’t know why he does this to me
He loves to see me in pain
no one listens
instead they mock
and no I’m here
crying about my luck

no one believes me when I say I’m in pain
they say I’m fine and I should toughen up
but it’s hard you know
when I’m this screwed up

So when I vent they say shut up and I just keep quiet

until I blow up.

 This is why I have self-esteem

 because of the monster
he took it all from me
but when I show people they revolt
they pretend they can’t see
but I know they see him
because he is me
He hurts me the bastard
he kills my happiness
takes all the light
so I only know darkness
When I ask people 'keep an open mind'
the are taken aback as if  told them to kill themselves
they don’t understand what lives inside me
Because on the outside they only see me

the monster however does not stop
He keeps at it and here I am now
Here I am to be alone forever
But wait
there’s more 
I’m not alone the monster is here
he says he’s my friend to keep me safe and warm
but that’s a lie
as you can see
because no seems to have sympathy
I wear a mask wherever I go
hoping no one notices, they can’t know
So I pretend to be happy and free
But on the inside I really am a slave to He
I try to express how I feel to some of my friends
but like you they never listen to the end
So next time you think, Hey,what’s wrong?
just think of my free style poem

The author's comments:

    ~to everyone going through a tough time you can defeat him

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This article has 1 comment.

on Nov. 6 2018 at 3:32 pm
JORDANS2323 BRONZE, Anthony, Texas
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
depression at its finest