Trapped | Teen Ink


May 24, 2009
By ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

Trapped behind these walls
Closed inside this room
Is a girl who has a secret
Leading to her tomb

Thoughts running through her mind
Pain racing through her veins
Gives her trouble through the night
As the sky begins to rain

These rooms has no windows
No air, she's suffocated
These rooms have no light
The intensity not yet rated

Trapped inside this world
With hearts burning cold
Dawn begins to break
The air brisk and bold

She opens her mouth to speak
You hear not yet a word
For its trapped behind these walls
Isn't it absurd?

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This article has 17 comments.

on Aug. 25 2010 at 3:50 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

thanks hun. 

I sure will.

on Aug. 25 2010 at 3:47 pm
ShenelleCrystal SILVER, M, New York
7 articles 0 photos 186 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh your heart out dance in the rain cherish the memories ignore the pain love + learn forget and forgive because remember you only have [one life to live] ♥

wow this is really good work ! I ♥ THIS ! please check and rate my work =]

on Apr. 17 2010 at 2:04 pm
xBaByGiRrL22x PLATINUM, Pearl River, New York
22 articles 0 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The goal isn't to live forever, but create something that will."
"If you wanna go, baby let's go; if you wanna rock, I'm ready to roll.''
"No one ever said it'd be easy. They just said it'd be worth it." <3

omg i luv  this. it is amazingg

on Apr. 15 2010 at 6:18 pm
_TheDarkArtist_ SILVER, Lemont, Illinois
7 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
The world is brighter when you smile :]

This is amazing. its goes deep. keep it up, i will be eager to read more :D

on Apr. 12 2010 at 6:04 am
Dunkelheitstieg BRONZE, Baldwin, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The poet ranks far below the painter in the representation of visible things, and far below the musician in that of invisible things. Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination when awake?,"Leonardo da Vinci.

Wow..... I feel exactaly like this.

on Apr. 11 2010 at 12:19 am
Chelsea Gallay, New City, New York
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
awesome! i really love it! please keep writing 

on Apr. 2 2010 at 10:07 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

Thank you so very much.

bilbogirl GOLD said...
on Apr. 2 2010 at 7:12 pm
bilbogirl GOLD, Townsend, Delaware
19 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you cant rock it, dont even bother trying.

Fantastic work! You are a true artist, painting with words. I love this poem

on Feb. 27 2010 at 5:37 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

Thank you.

on Feb. 27 2010 at 4:15 pm
JasmineG7 SILVER, Waldorf, Maryland
9 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you might just be the world."
"Don't worry about people not knowing you, strive so that you may be worth knowing."

This is such a beautiful piece of work. It is intense, and i can relate. thanks 4 all the great comments on my work:) you are an extraordinary writer!

on Jan. 31 2010 at 6:25 pm
literaryaddict PLATINUM, Albuquerque, New Mexico
23 articles 3 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We're almost there and no where near it. All that matters is that we're going." Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
"The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound." Lady Bracknell, The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde

i love love love how you use rhyming in your poems. it really brings a new meaning to them. this one, i think, is my favorite so far

tbkeleli said...
on Dec. 26 2009 at 8:30 pm
ohhh this poem is very intense. and i like the words used as well. they help add to the intensity

KLD1992 GOLD said...
on Sep. 16 2009 at 5:22 pm
KLD1992 GOLD, Bradford, Massachusetts
10 articles 10 photos 30 comments
amazing! the feel of the poem is intense

on Jun. 13 2009 at 3:28 am
Ineedthesuntorise BRONZE, Maple Grove, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments
Hey I have no criticism for this poem-it is just too amazing! I love how much emotion you put into it! its soo real and it really connects with me. :)

if you want, you can also check out my poetry too-i love constructive criticism too-but you dont have to read them if you dont want to of course :)

LilJ<3 GOLD said...
on Jun. 8 2009 at 12:00 am
LilJ<3 GOLD, Gloucester, Virginia
11 articles 2 photos 60 comments
I absoultely loved it. Your a great writter and i love the flow of the poem.. OH thanx for the commebts on my poem, i too like constructive critism...keep writting im sure to keep reading :)


PK4evr ELITE said...
on Jun. 4 2009 at 2:20 pm
PK4evr ELITE, Allen, Texas
105 articles 5 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch everyone wonder how you did it!

You like constructive criticism, but there's one problem- I have no criticism. LOL. It was that good. :). Keep writing.

on Jun. 2 2009 at 12:28 am
MariaMarie DIAMOND, Washington Court House, Ohio
70 articles 0 photos 181 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's a mountain on a beach"-Unknown
"Will: This is either madness or brilliance. Sparrow: It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide."-Pirates of the Caribbean:Curse of the Black Pearl.

I like how you pool the reader into it by asking the question last- makes them feel what you've just said, to take it in. I like how you tell us about her and not give direct details.