my only real poem | Teen Ink

my only real poem

June 16, 2021
By SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
161 articles 22 photos 933 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)
And the words I say most often: "Where was I?"
"I just switched 50 things to anonymus and it doesnt even make a diff- why was i writing this again? where was i? hm.... oh well."


The more people around me, the more alone I feel.

But lonely is a normal feel. 

For me, at least.

I don't cry. I keep my eyes ahead

Someday i’ll be surrounded by people

People who pay attention to me

People remember i exist

I'm not shy. I'm not an introvert

But i'm still invisible

And the more people there the more invisible i am.

And i'm not breaking, because i have a bright future

I hope. 

But i don't have to worry about friends

Because my eyes will stay on someday

And in someday, i’ll be happy

And for now, i have characters

And people in my head

And that will have to be enough.


The author's comments:

this is about me. i dont write real stuff about me often, but I... yeah. here it is. but I'll get over it. i always do. i didn't give it a title because its not like one of my other poems. it doesn't need a title and it doesn't need a reader. but I put everything I write on teen ink.


Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 12 comments.


on Sep. 14 at 7:00 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
161 articles 22 photos 933 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)
And the words I say most often: "Where was I?"
"I just switched 50 things to anonymus and it doesnt even make a diff- why was i writing this again? where was i? hm.... oh well."

oh yes, i know that feeling well. my poems can testify.

Lydiaq ELITE said...
on Sep. 13 at 9:55 pm
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
100 articles 28 photos 727 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A word is dead
When it is said
Some say.
I say
It just begins to live
That day."
--Emily Dickenson

Definitely dreading Wednesday night church also. There's a girl there who was my friend over the summer and then abruptly starting ignoring me almost completely. I keep telling myself it's my imagination, but every week it feels more real. Do you know how cold it feels when you're watching people socialize in a circle and you're sitting across from them staring into your soul but they don't ever notice you? Also a photographer walks by and photographs the circle-kids. I had a mental breakdown last week...only coming home and writing for a couple hours calmed me down.

on Jul. 5 at 2:52 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
161 articles 22 photos 933 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)
And the words I say most often: "Where was I?"
"I just switched 50 things to anonymus and it doesnt even make a diff- why was i writing this again? where was i? hm.... oh well."

i did it on purpose, to throw suspicion off- shoot i said too much!
no, I'm not a stalker and I'm definitly nt taking a lot of screenshots of all the personal info I can find on you and others. stop thinking about it so much!

Lydiaq ELITE said...
on Jul. 3 at 6:09 pm
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
100 articles 28 photos 727 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A word is dead
When it is said
Some say.
I say
It just begins to live
That day."
--Emily Dickenson

You have to be a novice stalker to give yourself away like that.

Lydiaq ELITE said...
on Jul. 3 at 6:08 pm
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
100 articles 28 photos 727 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A word is dead
When it is said
Some say.
I say
It just begins to live
That day."
--Emily Dickenson

I worry about you sometimes.

on Jul. 2 at 4:11 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
161 articles 22 photos 933 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)
And the words I say most often: "Where was I?"
"I just switched 50 things to anonymus and it doesnt even make a diff- why was i writing this again? where was i? hm.... oh well."

(its cuz im a stalker and trying to get you to trust me and tell me how to kidnap you)

Lydiaq ELITE said...
on Jul. 2 at 11:25 am
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
100 articles 28 photos 727 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A word is dead
When it is said
Some say.
I say
It just begins to live
That day."
--Emily Dickenson

The similarities between your life and mine are getting a little startling!

on Jun. 30 at 6:30 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
161 articles 22 photos 933 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)
And the words I say most often: "Where was I?"
"I just switched 50 things to anonymus and it doesnt even make a diff- why was i writing this again? where was i? hm.... oh well."

and im at wensday night chrch now again. only 2 other people. they're engaged in conversation so here I sit on my computer. alone.

Lydiaq ELITE said...
on Jun. 30 at 12:23 pm
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
100 articles 28 photos 727 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A word is dead
When it is said
Some say.
I say
It just begins to live
That day."
--Emily Dickenson

Wow that was some confession--I have trouble believing you wrote that last comment and not me, because my journals are full of similar lamentations (Wednesday nights included!)

on Jun. 29 at 9:46 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
161 articles 22 photos 933 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)
And the words I say most often: "Where was I?"
"I just switched 50 things to anonymus and it doesnt even make a diff- why was i writing this again? where was i? hm.... oh well."

i agree. and i downplay it and pretend I don't mind when people ask. i do like m characters, but seeing real people talking to each other nd ignoring me isan awful feeling. and well the more people there the more alone is true, the less people there the more it feels like those who are are activinly choosing to ignore me. i have this feeling most at church on Wednesday nights. i have to go because of my calling, it primarily consists of organizing Wednesday night activities. so while I have responsibilities, ill continue to make myself cry and make myself pretend I don't care. I've been more or less alone since third grade. i should be used to it. I've had a few friends come and go, but I'm alone. all I have for myself are promises that someday things will be different. i don't know if its a lie or not.
i cant remember if.. my only anyonymus wolfwalkers were duplicites that I couldn't delete. i think ti deleted them.i have a couple poems and a few stupid things I cant take down.

Lydiaq ELITE said...
on Jun. 29 at 3:37 pm
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
100 articles 28 photos 727 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A word is dead
When it is said
Some say.
I say
It just begins to live
That day."
--Emily Dickenson

btw, I know you must have a lot of anonnamys works as I have some also. If I see anything by "Annon" that is about wolf warfare with a trigger warning, that's pretty much a giveaway.

Lydiaq ELITE said...
on Jun. 29 at 3:31 pm
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
100 articles 28 photos 727 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A word is dead
When it is said
Some say.
I say
It just begins to live
That day."
--Emily Dickenson

Yeah. I hate how others mix up invisible with introvert--they think because nobody wants to talk to me, I must like being alone, when it's not really that way. I wrote a poem with a non-title too, it's called "The Final Poem," which shouldn't be taken the wrong way. It could sound like it's the last poem a person writes before committing suicide or something, but let's not take it that way. I am kind of a daydreamy nerd who finds imaginary characters better company than real people.