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I miss her so much.
I miss her so much that I hurt on the inside.
I feel hollow. I feel so deeply empty.
Nothing is filling this hole because nothing is good enough.
There will never be anything good enough to patch that hole.
I want her back.
I want her back but I want her the way she was three years ago,
When she was dancing outside the living room window.
And running around her apartment in her ‘Captain’ panties.
I can’t get used to this.
I can’t used to seeing her car in my driveway and her not here.
I want her to bust through my front door yelling, ‘Son!’
I want my mom to laugh at her imitations of my grandfather again.
I want to watch he smile and laugh again.
I just want to hold her again.
I just want to hold her again and smell her perfume and kiss her soft cheek.
I’d give anything to just touch her cheek again.
I’d give anything to be in the same room as her,
Hear her laugh,
Thank you for taking her and healing her.
Thank you for helping her walk again,
For taking away her addiction.
Thank you for loving her as I do,
For loving her more than I do.
Thank you for taking care of her,
For treating her better than the world could ever have.