No Control | Teen Ink

No Control

August 5, 2010
By Distraction DIAMOND, Leesburg, Virginia
Distraction DIAMOND, Leesburg, Virginia
73 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I slam my head against the wall
I try to breathe the air, I gasp for more
nothing fills, I try once again
it leads me nowhere but to the end.
This time it hits harder
and once again I try to breathe
but nothing gets sucked into me
this isn’t the way it should have to be.
Each time my head smashes the wall
my head spins and I begin to lose more control
there’s nothing left in me for me to fight
I’ve got to give myself over, make it all right.
Only it doesn’t stop me, maybe I still have power
it’s my will that keeps trying to make myself stronger
except when my head crashes into that wall
that’s when I lose that power and all control.
I know that I could try and fight it, but what’s the point
when my head only keeps banging and all I can see are stars
what would be the point of me trying
when I know that my heads only going to keep hitting the wall?
Why should I try
why shouldn’t I let it take over me
why should I try and stop it
when I know I have no control?
Maybe I’m just thinking that I have no control
but what if I had all the control and I could stop it all
would I be able to do the right thing and get everything together
or would I somehow find a way to fail and let it take me over?

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