The Vanished Heart | Teen Ink

The Vanished Heart

November 19, 2011
By lilmartz PLATINUM, Perrysburg, Ohio
lilmartz PLATINUM, Perrysburg, Ohio
40 articles 5 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live Life Like A Party That Never Ends

Brush the dust across the fawn earth
I looked among the shadows,
Dusky eyes resting calmly on the damage
Straining to see in the shifting shade
the vanished heart
A strange weightlessness endangered me; I was alone.
A shambled rib cage wraps around me.

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This article has 3 comments.

FireIgnited said...
on Jan. 4 2012 at 9:45 pm
FireIgnited, Valley City, North Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 29 comments
Okay, so I've noticed that sometimes people have very differed opinions on a piece of poetry. It's not the writer's fault or the reader's, but the line between good poetry and not-so-good poetry is quite blurred. Now I'll get to actually telling you what I thought of your poem ;) Maybe it's just my current mood or the fact that I'm very overly critical, but for some reason it feels like it's missing something I can't identify. Again, it's probably just me, so don't take any offense. :) I'm used to poetry that's punctuated, which is how I write it, so the lack of punctuation made it kind of blur together, I guess. I'm sure that if I weren't me I'd absolutely love it XD Yeah, I've noticed this comment really isn't going anywhere. I'm kind of out of it right now. :P But anyway, I still give it a 5/5 stars!

on Dec. 30 2011 at 3:53 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"

I think you do a really good job covering many different writing styles and subjects, lilmartz :)

on Dec. 28 2011 at 8:50 pm
Infinity_Roses GOLD, Omaha, Nebraska
10 articles 0 photos 13 comments
Again, you are a beautiful writer. Your poems are short, easy to swallow... which is a nice break from all the poems that ramble on and on (such as mine). I can see exactly what you're seeing. Maybe, in the future, you can write about emotions, too? I mean, you do have overall emotions in your pieces. Like I can feel the mysteriousness and the pain in this one. I'd like to read a long poem of yours where you go really in depth. But anyway, please keep writing! Your work is absolutely fabulous. :)