A Poem from Planet Mars | Teen Ink

A Poem from Planet Mars

February 22, 2012
By AgentOrange789 GOLD, Friendswood, Texas
AgentOrange789 GOLD, Friendswood, Texas
16 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's a saying they have, that a man has a false heart in his mouth for the world to see, another in his breast to show to his special friends and his family, and the real one, the true one, the secret one, which is never known to anyone except to himself alone, hidden only God knows where."
-James Clavell, "Shogun"

Upon the pages none have read
We danced as children with their toys
No red horizon to border our boundless fields
Which would become the unpublished chapter

Gradually the wind began its murmur
Slipping its message to the dogs
They begin to growl, snap at the outsiders
A tremulous chord swelling within the cavity

What then, when the fire, sword, and axe
Pave a way for the rising behemoth
The gallant roar of the gong, waves came crashing down
The last words of an infinite epilogue

After our vitality is stolen
And the dream we knew so well lay
Shattered like glass upon the floor
We sit, the two of us, you and I

And think of endless things, and distant stars
And ponder this winding river of ours…

Thus concludes this poem from planet Mars.

The author's comments:
I decided to tell a story much like a composer would...using the emotional and archetypical value of words as opposed to their literal meaning.

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This article has 5 comments.

on May. 7 2012 at 10:43 pm
iCheeto PLATINUM, Cape Coral, Florida
25 articles 0 photos 61 comments
This is incredible.   It's different from anything I have read in a long time, and I can almost see the planet in your mind that you're writing from.  Awesome job, it's so creative.

dreamshaker said...
on Apr. 2 2012 at 10:15 pm
dreamshaker, Clarkston, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 64 comments
Your poems continue to amaze me.

This was really impressive. The diction was impeccable - everything about the poem was impeccable, actually, but the words you chose were just absolutely perfect.  I'm not even sure I can pick a favorite line, this was so lovely, but I think the most powerful part (for me, anyways) was "and the dream we knew so well lay/shattered like glass upon the floor/we sit, the two of us, you and I/and think of endless things, and distant stars"

And now I'll end my sappy gushing and just reiterate: this was freaking amazing.

on Mar. 6 2012 at 5:30 pm
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD, Roseville, California
17 articles 1 photo 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"if you're not 1st you're last"

wow! im not quite sure why but i really like this poem. i know part of it is your diction and that last stanza before the single verses, but what got me to read over it a second time and think of it so deeply i can't putter my finger on. i love that feeling-the feeling of just liking something. Great Job! :)

on Mar. 5 2012 at 10:05 am
loveissmiles GOLD, Lynn, Indiana
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I live for the nights I can't remember with the people I will never forget." -Carassisa M-<3

"What the mind can perceive, the body can achieve." -Softball Coach Steve B-

honestly i can NOT explain how much i love this poem. I love the word choice and usage. You have an immense amount of talent. Keep writing, and feel free to give me feedback at anytime, you're an incredible author, and i value your opinion.

on Feb. 23 2012 at 8:59 pm
Potterlover929 BRONZE, San Jose, California
2 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is far better to be optimistic and wrong than pessimistic and right. Optimistic people can always find the good in things even if they seem horrible, whereas pessimists just ignore the good while focusing on the bad."

I really liked this poem..... your last part was my favorite.