The Beach Has Won, The Beach Has One | Teen Ink

The Beach Has Won, The Beach Has One

May 29, 2012
By snowleopard100 PLATINUM, New York City, New York
snowleopard100 PLATINUM, New York City, New York
33 articles 1 photo 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, but I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

Gaping dunes level their shaven heads
and narrow their seashell eyes;

they are trying to lead that wee fish of a boy
to his wat'ry grave. They smoke on

seaweed cigarettes and spit salt water
smoke into his bloodshot eye;

leaving the other to be blinded
by that glaring sun suspended in

a heaven of vanilla-bean clouds and
beguiled birds. They send whirlwinds of

crabs to nip at his freckled feet
and gangs of jellyfish to sting

his blubbery stomach. He cannot take it;
the fish, the boy, stands upon his two scaly feet.

He raises his mangy arms o'er the jagged boulders,
unearthing two red holes at his left side,

and the gaping dunes begin to lower their shaven heads,
they begin to broaden their seashell eyes

just as the fish, the boy dissolves into the flaxen sand.
The Beach has won this time, The Beach has one this time.

The author's comments:
The beach may seem pleasant, but once we disturb it, there is no telling what may happen.

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This article has 2 comments.

Eirias SILVER said...
on Jun. 13 2012 at 10:19 pm
Eirias SILVER, Spring, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you wish to be a writer, write" -Epictetus

I'm not sure what's going on with the title. . . The spacing seems very irregular. I'm not sure about the meter. It seems that an attempt at SOME form of intentional rhythm is here, but it has so many hiccups as t to be indefinite. There is also the cut syllables (wat'ry) which implies a purposeful meter, but I don't see it. You used some nice imagery, but I don't quite get the point of the poem, or what exactly is going on.

on Jun. 6 2012 at 12:58 pm
these-roses GOLD, Bristol, Indiana
14 articles 2 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
so many books, so little time

i like the way your compaired the beach to a shaven head, i thought that was a neat idea. i like this!