Behind Life | Teen Ink

Behind Life

January 19, 2013
By Distraction DIAMOND, Leesburg, Virginia
Distraction DIAMOND, Leesburg, Virginia
73 articles 0 photos 0 comments

You know I’m gonna say I’m fine
Even if you know it’s just a lie
It’s what I am going to say
There’s just no other way.
If I keep feeling the way that I do
For sure, nothing more will be true
Everything will just stay bottled up inside
Like always, I’ve been in the place to hide.
I may feel better, won’t last for long
I’m falling back in the hole, already gone
No place to go, no one to see, nothing
That’s what I am always going to be.
Getting back to that feeling, already there
Won’t go away, it’s getting too much to bear
Keep trying to build myself up, the harder I try
The faster I fall; I’m not going to get by.
It shakes me up, and not much helps
Drugs, alcohol, pills, it’s never enough
That same old feeling that just replays
It keeps on going through my days.
But I hide it all, nobody knows
They think I’m just going with the flow
No reason behind it, just to get high
But deep down, there’s something inside.
And all the people I tend to be with
Treat me like dirt, treat me like s***
And everybody knows it, doesn’t care
Just think that it’s alright, no big deal.
Internally I’m broken, internally I’m shattered
Look into my eyes, you don’t know what lays behind
For all you know I’m as great as can be, no problem
Except that’s the way it’s portrayed to be.
‘To write love on her arms’ is for the process of healing
But what about those who are not capable of being healed
Do they just keep going on with life like nothing’s wrong?
Or what if their too lost to know what’s going on.
All this time I’ve been meaning to get everything down on paper
It’s been five months, maybe more since I’ve been able to put a thing down
But it is finally beginning to come out; I don’t know where to go next
Where shall I be found?

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