gone .-. | Teen Ink

gone .-.

February 10, 2014
By Eno_Bladez GOLD, Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Eno_Bladez GOLD, Williamsport, Pennsylvania
16 articles 1 photo 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
it'll be okay, if it's not okay it's not over.

I’m tired
And as I snuggle next to you
I can feel you pull away
I see the blankness
In your eyes
And suddenly I know
That the love we had
Has gone away . . .

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This article has 1 comment.

on Apr. 4 2014 at 9:28 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

Hi! This is a nice poem! You seem to capture the scene really well and the directness of the poem gives the reader exactly what is supposed to be seen in this piece and maybe what is supposed to be felt in regards to the reader. One small thing I would suggest is to use more punctuation. Since this piece is direct, it doesn't need too much except for a few periods at the end of lines. Other than that, nice job!