soft spoken lies | Teen Ink

soft spoken lies

March 27, 2014
By Eno_Bladez GOLD, Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Eno_Bladez GOLD, Williamsport, Pennsylvania
16 articles 1 photo 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
it'll be okay, if it's not okay it's not over.

This distance between us
It’s always been there.
We stitched a bridge
Out of soft spoken words.
But your words were a lie.
There’s half a bridge left,
There no hope for either of us
Stuck on either side of this distance
My part of the bridge is still there.
Still waiting for you
To rebuild your side,
With your soft spoken lies.

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This article has 3 comments.

Funne GOLD said...
on Apr. 5 2014 at 9:18 am
Funne GOLD, Cleveland, Ohio
19 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I never ask a man what his business is, for it never interests me. What I ask him about are his thoughts and dreams."

-H.P Lovecraft

good, but It looks a little seperated.

on Apr. 4 2014 at 9:16 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

Hey! I like the premise of this poem and your title is really good; it drew me in very quickly. I will say, though, that your punctuation could use some changes. Some lines would be better with a period at the end and others, a comma. For example, the line 'My part of the bridge is still there' could use a comma at the end instead of a period. With a comma, I think the sentence would flow a bit better and even give a stronger acount of the emotions expressed to the reader. I think if you rework things like that in this poem, it'll make a difference. I hope this helps.