Winter of Red Snow | Teen Ink

Winter of Red Snow

May 15, 2014
By JJ_Lone PLATINUM, Davenport, Washington
JJ_Lone PLATINUM, Davenport, Washington
27 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Red snow
across the streets,
as though
tomatoes were thrown.

That not what happened.
She lays upon the ground
with a knife through her neck.
Broken arm,
and leg.

I was there.
She was beat
and stabbed.
He tried to get me.
Oh.. He tried.
But I ran.

She's dead.
She cant be.
She is lost
and cant
be found.

Another on.
But many knives.
Stabbed repeatedly.
My Mom!!!

Everywhere I look,
they die.
They are lost
and cant be found.

He wants me.
Only me.
Trying to scare me
out of hiding.

Wont happen.
I have no one left.
He knows that.
No way to get me.

But he finds a way.

I wake up
on the cold

All around me
I see the
Winter of Red Snow.

The author's comments:
the "He" is a nightmare if you couldnt figure it out. At the end, it means "He" wont stop trying to get me.

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This article has 7 comments.

on Jul. 24 2014 at 11:32 pm
MattMattHatter PLATINUM, Bellevue, Washington
33 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Poetry is thoughts that breathe, and words that burn. "
Thomas Gray

I like the detachment and factuality (is that a word? I just invented a word) about it, but the grammar is a bit iffy. Overall, very good :)

on May. 30 2014 at 2:52 pm
Luv4Ever SILVER, Jacksonville, Florida
7 articles 0 photos 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
A miracle is just another name for hard work
-Minho in "To The Beautiful You"

its fantasic but i'm just not feeling the emotion

on May. 30 2014 at 11:28 am
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
I really like the concept of pursuit in this poem, but in places, grammar is shaky. Also, if you have too many exclamation marks in one place, it can seem immature and can't is spelt like that, not cant. There are other examples of mistakes, but I think if you scanned through it briefly, you could easily correct it. I'm not sure if I like the simple language but I like to go OTT so maybe that's just me... :) Overall, I like the ideas in this :)

G.rata BRONZE said...
on May. 27 2014 at 3:56 pm
G.rata BRONZE, Manchester, Connecticut
3 articles 2 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imagination is more important than knowledge ~ Albert Einstein

I liked this poem alot, and I enjoyed the Him/ nightmare part!

on May. 22 2014 at 3:59 pm
Canadotas PLATINUM, Harrisonburg, Virginia
24 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
“As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it.” --Albert Einstein

I think the first line is really gripping. Really cool poem

freeday15 GOLD said...
on May. 20 2014 at 4:31 pm
freeday15 GOLD, Paramus, New Jersey
18 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is Blind" i truly believe in this it is in all of my pieces, and if u read between the lines then u will find it there...

Love the use of language here

on May. 17 2014 at 2:55 pm
AllSoPlayfulWhenYouDemonize BRONZE, Richmond, Virginia
3 articles 0 photos 228 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Our passion is our strength."
-Billie Joe Armstrong

Wow. This is really good. 5 stars!(: