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Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice MAG
She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.
Huber Heights, Ohio
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 276 comments.
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“Gods of Olympus.” Piper stared at Leo. “What happened to you?”
His hair was greased back. He had welding goggles on his forehead, a lipstick mark on his cheek, tattoos all over his arms, and a T-shirt that read HOT STUFF, BAD BOY, and TEAM LEO.
“Long story,” he said.”
3 articles 0 photos 10 comments
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life."
2 articles 0 photos 36 comments
"But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie." -Khaled Hosseini
"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." Albert Camus
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36 articles 1 photo 77 comments
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You are either dead or alive.Your heart either pumps blood or life.Our hearts pump words love life and understanding.Into our sub-conscience body for we use the hands of that body to write. -Best friend :'( RIP
9 articles 0 photos 18 comments
“We are the bright new stars born of a screaming black hole, the nascent suns burst from the darkness, from the grasping void of space that folds and swallows--a darkness that would devour anyone not as strong as we. We are oddities, sideshows, talk show subjects. We capture everyone's imagination.”
4 articles 4 photos 8 comments
It's not you, its me, I deserve better.
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"What, do you really think I was
strong enough to handle it?
If you did, then sweetie, you
don't know me at all.
These "smiles" are fake.
Just another lie people bought.
You will never know the disaster
that's behind them." -Anonymous
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we must have the faith of desperate sleepwalkers, who rise out of their calm beds and walk through the skin of another life
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"I've always been famous. It's just everybody's just now finding out." --Lady Gaga
11 articles 20 photos 194 comments
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
'and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.'
Great word choice, I love it! ;-)
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"I go to seek a great perhaps" Francois Rabelais
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You Were Born an Original, Don't Die a Copy♥
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i loved this :)
it was simply fantastic - i loved the creativity and the humor of it. amazing!
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2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
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"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." (Bartoletti, Campbell)
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"Some of the greatest things in life are unseen, thats why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, or dream."