Tired and Utterly Lost | Teen Ink

Tired and Utterly Lost

November 16, 2016
By AvaJay GOLD, Spokane, Washington
AvaJay GOLD, Spokane, Washington
13 articles 4 photos 184 comments

Favorite Quote:
Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not pray for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it.
~ Tagore

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
guard and guide me through the night
and wake me up at--
wait I can’t see the light
Blinded by all this white

My skin peels back to reveal the chalk beneath
When touched by black, they snap
and I cough on their dust
That fills the air like needless tear gas

Dark knuckles rap against my skull
Knock and it shall be opened to you
But the banging only resonates
Floating through hollow space

Come, all who are thirsty
And drink from the water
Polluted by corporate greed
Oil slicks and conspiracy
Defend the sacred money

Whatever you do, work
hardily for the Lord and not for men
So the sores on my feet are payment to them
I haven’t slept in four days but I owe four Ks
to the institution funding my deprivation
fall asleep with head on desk
Maybe if they hold in all their breathe
They can fit through the eye of the needle

No Greek nor jew, no slave nor free
You are slave only to what you can’t see
There is no male or female, for you are all one
But guys just wanna have their fun
In locker rooms painted black with blood
Go ahead and grab me
Then silence my voice with your candidacy

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain
My eyes shatter with reflected pain
Brittle exhaustion twists my gut
Finger down my throat, I cough it all up
Rejecting nourishment, acceptance, and fetus


Judge not that you may not be--
Wait where were we?
Oh right racism, homophobia, and misogyny
Sorry I couldn’t hear me speak
Over the sound of you interrupting


Love they enemy as thyself, though
It’s not love that makes sand glow
You must increase and I must decrease
Unless you’re anything different from me
No immigration in this god-forsaken country

The author's comments:

A Reflection on the Current Political Situation and/or my Mental State

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