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Party, Sex & Drugs "A teenager's survival guide"
Author's note: My own life inspired me, not to mention I have a teen family member that has seemed to be completely lost about life. My mistakes and experiences I hope will prove to be help to another teen so that they don't go thru some of the trials amd tribulations I did.
The Parties…what you need to know and what you think you know!
ARTIES, now that’s something that every teen wants to get invited to; a party. Parties are cool for all ages but especially teens, it seems to be the happening thing no matter where you come from or where you may live around the world, it’s every kid’s dream to get invited to a party especially from the hottest and most popular kids in school.
Parties can be fun and of course boring, I mean b-o-r-i-n-g. That means everyone is just sitting around twiddling their thumbs waiting for the bomb to drop to have fun or it could mean for girls, there are no cute boys there…lol. Got to have cute boys or why get all dressed up.
Believe it or not, there are so many different variations of parties that you have to pick and choose from before you can even decide which party is right for you. But one of the other most important decisions is choosing who to go with. Choosing the right friend to party with is just as important as choosing the right party to attend because some friends can lead you to the wrong type of party which actually happened to me.
If I recall I was fourteen years old when I begged my mom to go to my first party, that is, without having the normal family style party where the whole family is there and the kids wind up in the basement or someone’s bedroom just playing music and talking and everyone is related to one another.
So finally at age fourteen …my mom gave me the “OK” to go to my first grown-up high school party without the family and it was a lot of fun until there was a drive-by. So some of you I ‘am sure are asking “What’s a drive-by”? Well, let me break it down to you: a drive-by is a urban term for a dark car with dark tented windows where you can’t see inside the car and the people in the car drive by a specific street or location to purposely do harm to someone as fire off shot guns at them or throw fire bombs at someone or something, and once they have committed this act of violence they keep driving very fast to get away from the scene, thus calling it a drive-by.
Normally this is some sort of gang related violence that is related to another criminal act and normally happens in urban and Latino low income neighborhoods according to the statistics. So now that you know what a drive-by is, let me tell how it all began.
I was fourteen and I was invited to go to a party in Canoga Park, CA. with one of my older friends Montana. I was so excited and I practically begged my mom to go. I told her it would be ok and that definitely there would be no drama and to make it even sweeter, I promised her that this was going to be a great party, not to worry and I knew all the safe party rules; plus I gave her the cute pouty face and who could say “NO” to that.
After mom said it was ok, I put my high heels on, my makeup on, made my hair look like a million bucks, and I was ready to go party. I was absolutely ready for this party and I was ready to be the hottest and prettiest girl there.
So mom and I picked up my friend Montana and we drove to Canoga Park for the party. When we arrived of course, my mom gave us all the “do not do” part rules before we got out of the car. We nodded yes to all the rules and said good bye to my mother.
When we walked inside the party, it was popping and of course, I’m scoping out the cute boys. The party was fun and I was having fun too. Everyone was dancing and mingling but for some reason I wanted to go outside to get some fresh air but Montana was still dancing and I didn’t want to go outside by myself so I decided to wait until Montana was finished dancing. And, thank god I waited for her because if I hadn’t, I would not be alive today to tell you my story.
Right before the dance song ended and while Montana was still dancing, I noticed that the song that was banging loudly through the speakers sounded a little off beat and then all of a sudden a group of people from outside the club rushed in the club in terror.
The next thing I knew my friend Montana grabbed me by my arm and yanked me under a table with her. I didn’t know what was going on at the moment but then put two and two together and assumed that since everyone hit the ground, someone must be shooting.
We started to hear screams and gunfire and voices from the other party goers that two people had been shot. And right before my very own eyes I saw a teen that had been shot in the back and was being dragged through the club to the bathroom.
And you would think witnessing that would have been enough for me to just pass out, but right after that we heard a banging at the door coming from the outside. Everyone turned their head so fast towards the door and a silence came over the entire club. All you could hear was banging on the door like someone was trying to get in.
Finally someone opened the door and we discovered it was one of the security guards from outside that had been shot in the back. Throughout all of this chaos, Montana still had her arms wrapped around me trying to calm me down; now that’s a true friend that has your back. Everyone had to stay down and in hiding until the police arrived for our own safety. I called my mom and told her to rush over as fast as she could.
This party was not a fun party anymore. Montana and I was scared, but all I could think about was my mom. What was she going to say after I spent all week telling her that there was going to be absolutely no drama at this party. My guess is I will probably never be allowed to go to a party again for a very long time. Boy was I wrong about this party, who could have predicted a shooting at my very first grown-up party.
Finally the police showed up and it was time to leave. As we were walking outside the club we had to look down to make sure we weren’t stepping in any blood. Thank god my mom was right outside, and the first thing she said was, “I told you so”; and as much as I hated to admit it, mom was right. You can’t control everyone’s actions and you definitely can’t control a party that’s not yours.
After that horrible event I decided I wasn’t quite ready for that kind of party and I told myself to choose wisely on which parties I go to and more importantly which friend to go with. Now I only attend parties where I am a special invited guest meaning on the V.I.P list where my partying is in the V.I.P room which normally is a more secured and controlled atmosphere, or I simply attend what we call a “Kickback” which is basically close friends getting together in a familiar spot, because witnessing that was one of the biggest eye openers I could ever ask for.
As you can see from my experience, there is plenty of partying going on in the world and each party has their own style and a different kind of crowd.
Totally VIP Ready! Gotta Glam it Up a lil’!
In case you are not sure what type of party is right for you let me give you the hippest trend of parties that are out there today:
THE HOUSE PARTY - The house party is a party in a house with most likely no parent supervision. This party comes with lots of drinks to include alcohol, beer bongs and socks on the door, which means DO NOT ENTER! Some house parties also have a smoking section; either in the bathroom or outside. If you don’t see the actual area, just know there’s smoking in the room you can’t breathe in and it’s either cigarette smoke or marijuana smoke, either way it’s smoky.
THE KICKBACK - Kickback’s are usually in a house. It’s sort of like a party but most likely there is no dancing. Most of the teens there know each other very well and it’s like one big social event where you can just kickback and do whatever, which could be listening to music, watching a movie, playing games or more. Everyone is basically just sitting around talking over good music that they all enjoy.
If the kickback is small enough, you won’t need a smoking section or beer bong because the majority of people brought their own goodies and are willing to share and most of the time depending on the type of crowd you hang around there is no alcohol or drugs.
THE BIRTHDAY PARTIES – Birthday parties are the type of parties that parents always think are safe. That’s because they are…when you’re like 12! At that age it’s a family party for the whole clan to get together and they actually bring those dumb gifts you hate and are happy to get rid of. But, don’t get me wrong, as you grow older and the parents aren’t invited anymore; there will still be those disguised chaperones which is normally uncle Bob or Aunt Anna. An easy way to spot them out is to look for the older person that’s either standing around not eating but posing as a fake security guard or the obnoxiously off beat relative on the dance floor trying to look hip and cool. And If you still can spot them; don’t worry their face will be lit up when it’s time for cake and that’s because they’re the ones lighting the candles on the cake.
Eventually there will be no chaperones and that’s when your birthday party turns into a house party with a purpose.
And lastly let’s not forget the religion and culture parties like Bar Mitzvahs and La Quinceañera but those are more for close friends and family and the idea of you turning that into a teen party…not a chance in hell with Grandma and Grandpa dancing to their cultural music of choice.
THE RAVE – Raves are normally big concerts and events where the music is very loud and very retro. Teens are normally wearing lots of colors, with lots of homemade jewelry on their neck and lots of colorful bracelet on their wrist. The sad thing about Raves’ is that it’s known for sex, drugs, and alcohol. Many Rave goers say it’s a lot of drugs and pill popping going on which leads to sex and god knows what else. Needless to say, this is definitely not my cup of tea, but some teens don’t share in my thoughts, and that is “OK” with me because I LOVE MY LIFE!
“MY MAMA’S PARTY RULES”
NEVER lie to your parents about where the party is going to be held, because if something bad happens, how will your parents know where to find you.
NEVER lie to your parents about who you are going to the party with. Many girls have unfortunately been victims of crimes or have disappeared and their crimes will never be solved because no one knew who they were with or the last person to see them.
NEVER go to a party with a boy without telling your girlfriends or your parents. Many girls have been date raped and choose not to press charges because they are either ashamed to tell whom they were with or just simply scared to tell. Trust your instincts, tell a friend about your date or who you are going to a party with. If you are afraid to tell people who you are going to a party with, then you should not be going at all.
If you are underage, never drink alcohol at a party. But who am I kidding, most teens drink at parties so that theory pretty much goes out the window so be a safe drinker if you are going to drink, and if you don’t drink, kudos to you! And if you do drink…You Better Not Drive!
Never let someone hand you a drink. Drinks can be spiked or drugs can be put into your drink without your knowledge. Many teenagers can be drugged at parties for the sole purpose of sex and other obscene things such as pictures, gags and more. So never ever take a drink from someone, because you will most likely regret it for the rest of your life.
Never sit your drink down to dance or walk away and then come back to get it. The same rules apply, it gives someone a chance to slip something in your drink. Trust me it will be safer just to get a new drink in a new cup.
Never drink spiked punch, you will never have any clue what type of alcohol was used to spike the punch. Some alcoholic beverages have harsh allergic reactions and can cause you harm or even death.
Never become intoxicated at a party! This is not pretty and you won’t look pretty either. You will be the laughing stalk of the party. You may think it’s cool, but you will be the most talked about person the very next day as you are puking your guts out on your bathroom floor. And you pretty much can figure out what people will be saying about you, and what’s more importantly, do you really know what you did the night before. I don’t think so!
Never leave a party and drive if you had a drink, nor should you ride with anyone who had a drink at the party. Call a cab, call your parents, or simply ride with someone who is sober. You will thank yourself in the morning. And guess how many brownie points you get from mom and dad if you call them for a ride…zillions! Their trust in you just shot way up. You are now the good kid they can brag about once again. Trust me as a teen, you’re going to need them brownie points because you never know when you will have to cash them in.
NEVER go to one party and then to another without phoning home. My mom has the “ABC” rule since I was a kid. What is the “ABC” rule you may ask? It’s simple:
Point A is where you are supposed to be
Point B is where you go next after Point B
Point C is normally where you end up at the end of the night and it’s normally not home.
In essence if you arrive at Point A, this is where you are supposed to be, if you decide to go to Point B, and then Point C, you must call home or tell someone you know when you go to other destinations throughout the night.
NEVER keep traveling to different parties and places throughout the night without telling someone. If you are in an accident or a horrible event occurs at Point B or Point C; how will the police or your parents know where to find you if you were supposed to be at Point A?
In my household my mom will do a drive-by and check my points even till today. She still checks on me all through the night via my twitter, phone, or facebook, she always know where I am. It used to bother me, but now, I know I am loved and she cares. I am much more at ease with my friends knowing my mom knows where I am. A lot of my friends think my mom checks up on me too much, but at least that lets them know, you can’t do anything crazy with me, because my mom will know, so they too are on alert about their behavior.
So it’s ok to party and party hard, you are a teen so go out and have some fun, but be safe, be smart, and definitely be a responsible teen.