All I could do was scream and cry. All I could think about was how I wanted my dad. I would do anything for her to turn around, and bring me back. I will do anything. That's when I passed out. I was about 6 years old when this happened. I had to go back with my mom for the week because I had divorced parents and they couldn't live together. Divorce is a hard thing to go through and not only does it affect the married individuals but also the people around them. Divorce affected me, it forced me into really bad habits from binge eating to parenting my siblings. It also hurt the relationship between my mother, father, and siblings.

My father was my hero, my best friend, and the person I looked up to the most. He has had a major impact on me even for just being in my life for the small amount he was. He would compare me to unreal people and belittle me when I didn't meet his standards. Yet he was my person but I didn't understand what he was doing to me. I just simply thought I was being held to my best self when in reality he was creating a machine in me. My mom didn't really know about this because they were divorced. But she felts the effects too. I didn't like my mother and she knew that. I would scream and cry because I didn't want to be around her. But it's because I was manipulated to do it. Then he moved, and we were constantly in a new house when we were with him but this time it was 2 states away and we didn't see each other again.

Binge eating was a terrible habit I gained after he left. I would eat way too much, and I got bigger and bigger. I started to binge eat at the beginning of 3rd grade because things with my father and mother were worse than ever. By 4th grade, my father was gone and was almost 115 lbs. I hated myself, but not only did I notice but so did my peers. That's when the bullying started, I gained a habit of just not talking to kids that I didn't really know because I thought what I had to say had no meaning. This limited me to my only 2 friends. I became quiet, but I didn't say anything about the bullying because I thought I needed to take responsibility just like my dad taught me to do.

 I am the oldest child of my 2 other siblings. When the divorce happened I was told they were my responsibility. Which put the rest of my childhood down the drain. I had to take care of them like a mother but I didn't know how. Soon I learned. I soon learned that my mother and I were going to be fighting more than ever. I would always act as a parent to my siblings and my mother hated it. She would get very upset with me and I would get upset right back at her. I would get grounded for months and she didn't understand why I was like this. Which made her even more frustrated.

My mother and I have never really been on the best terms. We always have a wall up. I never learned how to trust her. But I was taught how to make her life hell. I would constantly be parenting my sisters and it would infuriate her, she would tell me ¨(Name) stop acting like the parent¨ or ¨(Name) being a parent isn't your, stop!¨ This would then make me upset. I do not blame her for the divorce or my father leaving. It was just a constant cycle, and I felt I wasn't treated how I was supposed to be and I felt disrespected. She didn't understand that I was growing up way faster than I should've been. She also didn't know about the responsibilities I had to take on after my parents divorced.

From binge eating to parenting siblings as a 6-year-old to broken relationships with my mother, father, and siblings. Divorce is not the only answer, and it can be avoided if individuals were more responsible. Divorce is a heavy subject, that is not to be played around with. It hurts and can traumatize people. Looking back if I was in that car now, I would not be screaming and crying. I definitely do not want to see my dad again. But I would simply just be quiet. They didn't choose their partners wisely, they were irresponsible, and they already have heard what I had to say about it.