Kari (car-ee)
NOT TO BE MISTAKEN FOR CARRIE, CARY, KERRY, OR CORY
Latin Roots: Karis Swensonius
Meaning: Totally Awesome
Species: Human
Part of Speech: Noun

Definition: This interesting creature resides in the suburbs of Bergen County, New Jersey (all the way at the top, two minutes away from New York State). Being from a middle class family, this girl has grown up like many of her friends, provided with the basic necessities for survival: love, shelter, happiness, and determination. The Kari can be found doing various activities during the day. Her main dwelling is a cave-like area called the “band room.” One can find this Kari creature spending time practicing the flute, a musical instrument that has been shown to bring joy to the Kari’s life, and doing what she does best: being a band geek (from the Latin root: bandus geekus, meaning one who looks good in a uniform). She doesn’t seem to mind this labeling and when asked about it, the Kari simply stated, “Band just happens to be my Narnia. It can be whatever I want it to be.” Researchers have shown that the Kari is the leader of the Marching Band, leading to her being called the Drum Major. The enthusiasm that results from this position is above normal and is still to be calculated.

While not in the band room, though this is rare, the Kari can be seen diligently working at a local market as a cashier, happily ringing up orders for customers and bagging their groceries. Her meager paychecks allow the Kari to purchase the finer things in life, like clothes, shoes, books, etc. Her main mode of transportation is a car bestowed upon her by her brother, an Andrew, a sub-species of Swensonius who joined the Army. The diet of the Kari differs depending on the day. The Kari’s appearance changes daily, the constants being her blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale, but not Casper-esque, skin.

After school, the Kari has been known to actively participate in the Environmental Club, working to promote a greener way of living, and the Spanish Club, enjoying the cultural experience. A notable event in the life of the Kari was when she was nominated to go to Jersey Girls State, a prestigious one-week program for girls with leadership qualities that provided the girls with political knowledge. During the week, the Kari gave a speech in front of roughly 450 people. Never having done this before, the Kari found herself very comfortable speaking to such a large audience and since then loves public speaking. However, this goes against the nature of the Kari, having evolved from a shy timid girl, who could barely speak in front of her class in school

Having the brain size of an average human, the Kari has pushed herself into challenging classes in hopes of expanding her vocabulary and becoming more appealing to her favorite college. The Kari’s self-determination and motivation has led her to taking an online class this semester. While the class can get lonely from the lack of inter-student connection, she does not mind the peace and quiet it provides. In her primitive form, the Kari, when observed outside of her habitat, had been known to shy away from uncomfortable situations, but now, after 17 years of evolution, the Kari can be seen taking challenges head on, although being careful not to mess up her hair.

In recent sightings, the Kari has been seen pumping up the marching band at football games, gearing up for the final show of her high school career. While the end will be sad, the Kari knows that marching band in college will be even better. With her uniform hung up in the closet, the Kari has finished her application. Anxiously awaiting the precious letters of acceptance, she is hoping for the best, while preparing for the worst. As the Kari keeps her head up and her eyes on the horizon, she marches to the beat of her own drum and looks forward to the surprises of tomorrow.