I should be in school right now, lucky me. I have the swine flu. Though perhaps not as deadly as some might have you believe, there is no better word to describe the experience of having it than “debilitating”. Despite the splitting headache, three-digit fever, and hacking cough, the chance to assume a vegetative state while watching movies all day, and having my every need attended to, is still a beautiful thing. This is not to say that I am unmotivated or lazy, I am simply expressing my own slight yet unfortunate propensity towards a universal human weakness. During a time in which I am going through the many tedious processes that mark my transition into post-secondary education and adulthood, any opportunity for excusable sloth is more than welcome. The experience is comparable to reentering the womb, the ultimate regression. Between painful coughs and fever sweats, my only thought is, “This is how life should be.” All things must pass, however, even the days of bliss spent on sofas, under blankets, and within calling distance of one’s attentive mother. No medal is awarded for indolence, no diploma is awarded for a degree in apathy. Transitions, from the womb to the world, from sick to well, from high school to college, all entail a new level of responsibility.
My torpor is beginning to lift. Already, my thoughts have shifted from acetaminophen and ibuprofen to French and Pre-Calculus. My potential as a student, as a human being, is returning. Time is growing short in the area of college applications, and more than one person besides myself is beginning to feel the first twinges of anxiousness. Nevertheless, I will be ready. As my fever breaks, broken also is yet another remnant of immaturity. I am moving away from sickness, away from the mundane, to an institution of higher learning. I will always enjoy time to simply exist, to not think, but not now. Now, I am moving forward into a new frame of existence, one not defined by standard dimensions, but by the length of a discussion, the breadth of study, the depth of an idea, and the time it takes to achieve all of which I am capable.
I will finally be going back to school tomorrow, after the longest absence due to illness that I have ever taken in my life. I will return to school, I will make up my late work, but I will have made just one of many steps towards the academic sphere. While amidst the fog of the swine flu, I have finished my essay. I am ready.