My name: 16 letters, two words, five syllables – but an overwhelmingly insufficient means of defining who I am.

I am a lover of literature, a skilled speaker of sarcasm, and a life-long advocate of underage thinking. I see the light at the end of every tunnel and Carpe the heck out of every Diem. My life is an unending series of experiments that have ever-changing variables but always feature the constants of family, friends, and fried food. I defy the stereotypes associated with my golden locks but fit those of my astrological sign. I live in the moment but analyze each one before I retire to my pile of pillows. I sometimes surrender to the temptations and weaknesses that befall humanity but champion moderation. I am rooted in Poland but cultivated in America. I am a walking contradiction but a testament to all things unconventional.

Reveling in the dialogue of Quentin Tarantino’s movies is my guilty pleasure; Pokémon battling is my hobby; memorizing the gamut of American court cases is my goal; becoming the change I want to see in the world is my purpose. I am a master at the art of over-achieving, judge and jury on the case of Beecher v Self, and a master chef of Kraft macaroni and cheese. Knowledge is my one true love, while reality television is my occasional mistress. Jealousy is my biggest weakness, while determination is my best asset. Poetry makes my mind smile, while cuddling with my chubby puppy warms my heart. I am a dedicated student by day, a video gamer by night, and a grammar Nazi full-time. Journalistic opportunities knock on my door, friends cry on my shoulder, and pursuits of perfection weigh on my mind. When it comes to I-Spy, no item is safe from my little eye. I sold my soul to comedy and find sweet euphoria in sharp tongues and uncanny wit. My love for written expression and all things argumentative will hopefully translate into a law degree. My quest for self-identity has led me down congested highways and deserted dirt roads, but I navigate every path with a full tank of gas in my car and a trusty moral compass in my hand.

I am motivated by friendly competition and fueled by Diet Coke. Hundreds of hours of my life have been devoted to volunteering in my community, pulling all-nighters, and wielding words as weapons of mass creation. Ultimate happiness is the station that my every train of thought leads to. I am a product of the people I have met, the initiatives I have spearheaded, the literature I have penned, the conversations I have engaged in, and the life experiences and skills I have stocked in my vast repertoire.

My personal statement: 25 sentences, 481 words, 2,254 characters – but only a smidgeon of what I can bring to my future university.