The Cloud Seekers | Teen Ink

The Cloud Seekers

September 22, 2009
By rwalker2 BRONZE, Heathfield, Other
rwalker2 BRONZE, Heathfield, Other
4 articles 0 photos 2 comments

That day I was one of them; a cloud seeker.

We were making our way, single-file, through a field where the grass came up to our waists. I moved carefully, treading in the footsteps of the ones before, one hand drifting through the tall stems, face upturned, bathing in the warm evening sun. Scarlet birds swung and swam around us, and we grinned to ourselves knowing we would soon join them in their lazy dance. I could see ahead the narrow strip of pine forest, and beyond that our target, the great stretch of sky, and then I saw the youngest, the one in the lead, break into a run with a whooping cry. I could hear our freedom calling.

We all began to sprint after him, our legs spinning and pounding, forgetting the careful path. Our line disbanded and we moved with ease and grace, no longer through a pond but weightless and barrier less- the joy of the flight making our hearts race and our eyes sparkle with pleasure.

We were moving steadily toward the forest, and as it came rushing towards me I felt myself instinctively brace, although I knew I would reach no impact. In a single burst we all broke the barrier between the great meadow and the trees, and the dull silence was shattered like a stone through a window. No obstacle would stop us running, so we darted through the trees, hair flying behind like streamers in the wind. We were a hive of bees swarming toward a flower, drawn by the scent, unstoppable in the quest for our desire.

Then the forest too fell away, and all that lay ahead was the great blue ocean and the great blue sky, the horizon where they kissed smudged with red and gold. I felt my legs move faster and faster; I wanted to be the first to reach it, I would beat them all. I let out my own cry, a joyful burst of song flying from me as I felt the ground crumbling away. I threw myself forward at the last possible moment and I burst into the open.

I never stopped moving, and I never stopped to see if the ones who had fallen behind were now following, though I knew they would be; this is what they lived for.

I was lost in dream and emotion. This was living, this tumble towards the shimmering blue beneath me, head over heels over head over heels. My stomach swooped and I knew it was love.

Eyes open, the single stream of blurred colour falling alongside me and yet surrounding me. I could hear the wind roaring in my ears as I fell, and I could believe I was flying, borne away on sight and song, on the beauty of freedom. I could’ve touched the clouds then, I know it, and I stretched out my limbs, splaying my fingers to feel the white wisps stream through them.

Then it ended, and the smash that seemed like an apocalypse as I landed, plunging downwards yet still flying, before somersaulting in the water and kicking towards the surface. As my head broke the water the cold air stung like fire, but seemed to embrace me like waves of perfume. The heads of the others broke the surface like ice rising in a liquid, red cheeks, white smiles as we turned our faces skyward. I spun around to see the clouds above me, washed with gold and bronze.

That day I was one of them; a cloud seeker.

The author's comments:
i'm not entirely sure where this came from. i wanted to write about feeling free.
there's some music that goes with it, if you like, i wrote it with this playing:

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This article has 14 comments.

on Nov. 2 2011 at 10:22 am
Short, sweet, complete.  Great job!

TheScribe said...
on Jun. 1 2011 at 2:10 pm
TheScribe, Wheelersburg, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
I have CDO. It's like OCD, except the letters are all in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE.

I loved this piece--i dont think it needs any more work. It feels....finished. :) Good job, keep up the excellent work.

Vanda GOLD said...
on Mar. 27 2011 at 8:46 pm
Vanda GOLD, Hemt, California
11 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
Well when saying good-bye its usaully, "See you in the after life," but my favorite quote is, "Bazinga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It's beautiful i love it. I'm new at the writing suff but i well never be as good as what you wrote. Maybe you could read some of my work, maybe help me out. I'd also like to get to know you if thats okay. And if you agree to read it, it's My horrid past

on Oct. 2 2010 at 10:41 am
ThatClarinetPerson SILVER, Tequesta, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 226 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life. Don't talk to me about life."
~Marvin the Paranoid Android (from the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy series)
Statistical analysis suggests that i am probably in tune with someone
(hahahahaha! I love this cause i'm never ever ever in tune >o

>o not fair!!! you stole my comment!

on Oct. 16 2009 at 3:31 pm
mitrashi BRONZE, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments
WOw, i don't have anything bad to say about this. I love the details. the length, everything. Excellent

hivest said...
on Oct. 9 2009 at 9:52 am
This is going to be a great book to read when you finish. I just know it. Also, you can be sure I'll read it if ie does become famous.

Lostinbooks said...
on Oct. 4 2009 at 12:05 am
Lostinbooks, Arcadia, California
0 articles 0 photos 63 comments
Beautiful, vivid and unique...That about sums it up... This may be one of my favorites!

on Oct. 2 2009 at 1:59 pm
rwalker2 BRONZE, Heathfield, Other
4 articles 0 photos 2 comments
wow, thank you everyone for the lovely comments!

feeling free is exactly what i was aiming to capture, so thank you everyone who said that i managed that!

i'll try and get round your profiles too, there's just so much amaaazing stuff on here and i'm only new :) haha!

thanks again :) xxxxx

casalej said...
on Oct. 1 2009 at 8:01 pm
I was in love with this writing. You did a fabulous job in describing the passage and I could picture each and everyting you said. When i was younger, as in your story, i also tried to chase down the clouds. Feeling free is an amazing feeling and I can definantily see were your coming from. Overall I wil truthfully say that your passage was one of the best I have read on TeenInk.

kavels said...
on Oct. 1 2009 at 5:48 pm
kavels, Irwin, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I loved the description and specific details in the story. I could picture the scene perfectly in my mind, a group of people running in tall grass. The part where you explained about entering the water "As my head broke the water cold air stung like fire, but seemed to embrace me like waves of perfume." I thought that was an excellent descriptive sentence. There was not much negative things except to be more descriptive in the first paragraph. But overall, I thought the story was outstanding, great job.

StinelliT said...
on Sep. 30 2009 at 8:08 pm
I loved the route you decided to take with this poem. It was really entertaining and suspenseful which I enjoyed. You were very discriptive and I felt like I was right in the poem with you. The part that impacted me the most was when u said in the sixth stanza, " I was lost in a dream of emotion. This was living, this tumble towards the shimmering blue beneath me, head over heels over head over heals. My stomach swooped and I knew it was love. " That was touching and made me get in touch with my emotions. I loved how you decided to use a simile. In the third stanza you say " and the dull silence was shattered like a stone through a window." When you said that, I really understood the message you were trying to send to the reader. Overall I thought this was a terrific poem.

Zoeybird96 said...
on Sep. 29 2009 at 2:18 pm
I loved how you decribed everything. I really felt like i was there. Why did you write about this?

Miyo said...
on Sep. 29 2009 at 2:17 pm
I loved the emotion and detail. I was easilyable to picture it in my head. Try to explian a few more things in the begginig.

cakekid314 said...
on Sep. 29 2009 at 11:51 am
i loved the story the dicription was so vivide i could see every thing that happened